Love, or Pride?

ello!! jus felt like starting that way.. anyway.. update for the day.. i shld be a water girl for those kinda sports where the guys have super good bods lo..hahaha i'm sure i could be of great help! *drools*

and yeah.. speaking of good bods.. today went for canoe polo training.. reached home at abt 4 like dat la.. and yup.. God is good.. the weather was fine.. and i didn't manage to murder myself(if that is possible at all) and yup.. nobody murdered me either.. so i'm thanking God that i'm back without injury and wif hands to type this entry down.. hahaha i had fun.. and got to know more of the usp ppl la.. heh heh.. they're a nice bunch..

i tink i hv a blur look when i'm concentrating really hard and not thinking.. (yes.. its possible to do that) and yes.. i shall be in more control of my facial expressions from now on..

gonna do my final draft for writing module. and yup.. wish me luck... i have 2 essays and 3 tests to deal wif the coming week.. and i've got projects to handle too.. heh heh.. but i know God will get me thru..! woohooo!!

praise the Lord!

wait.. did i mention the comp for canoe polo is THIS sat.. hahaha we need a divine intervention.. hahaha but oh well.. jus go for the fun of it la.. to try out the sport.. heh.. =P

see ya!
(why am i talking to myself?)
(i dunno)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/24/2005 04:58:00 PM .

feeling freaked out wif family.. or rather the topic of family.. cuz i've like jus typed 7 pages and a lil bit more on the ethnography of family based on the info i've gathered from family.. and well.. my thesis is that family is not the sugary sweet thing we always think it is.. it is a guarded animal that will make u do things against ur own personal wishes.. and well.. the more i typed it e more freaked out i got.. hhaha weird eh? hahaha i was complaing to my mum about it.. and to ian saying that famiy is sucha slippery subject.. u jus can't put ur hand on it.. and i tink i'm thinking a lot lo... hahhaha gosh.. but hey i still believe in family.. i tink family is a good thing.. =) i luv my family..

anyway.. feeling sian.. chilling out.. was blog surfing jus now.. very interesting.. u can jus tell who are the singaporeans and who aren't.. hahah! and was trying to check out on some modules.. hahah see this is my way of de-stressing.. hahah i luv looking at things like tt.. makes studying seem so fun.. and yes i do think studying is fun..

la la la la...

am i majoring in the right thing? hmmmm.. was asking my sister that.. haa =) but somehow i tink i kinda know the answer wor.. heh heh..

now i need to read my readings.. and tmr going for canoe polo training.. den i shall come back and edit my final draft for submission on friday.. =)

only thing is.. my affinity grp hasn't met for this week's owrions.. how? oh well.. m jus gonna leave it la.. sometimes u need to leave it to others to do the leading.. heh heh.. whee!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/23/2005 04:58:00 PM .

family... what do u tink of when u hear this word.. does it give you the warm fuzzy feeling inside? just a poll.. if u see this pls tag ur ans on my board k? =) thank u..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/23/2005 04:23:00 PM .

i'm a stress ball.. press me the wrong way and i'll roar.. okay.. maybe i won't.. but i'll jus turn black.. =

having a hard time planning my kinship essay.. but at least made some headway.. had to take a nap jus now cuz i was feeling so tired.. my eyes pain lo.. and i couldn't get a good nap cuz i jus had the stupid thesis in my head la.. and den so many disruptions.. oh SIGH

i'm a cranky crank

i'm jus so thankful that i read most of my readings faithfully thru out the weeks otherwise i tink i'd jus pass out this whole week lo.. =) so many things to do wor..

gotta study for soci
study for el2111
do proj for el2111
do kinship essay
do writing essay (first draft and ad analysing)

haha okay one advert made me luff.. hahahaha! oh well.. guess it takes a smile to crack up a stress ball.. =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/22/2005 10:06:00 PM .

i've been online for an eternity and i dunno why.. but its jus good to be online.. cuz u can jus chat wif anybody and do ur work at the same time.. more effective than having the phone glued to ur ear.. heh heh..

did some research for my EL2111 proj.. and it looked real interesting.. like now i know why certain spellings were used etc etc.. whee.. i sent my grp mates an email with e websites that i found and thot were good.. sounded very excited in there.. haha hope they get excited too.. there's nothing like having an enthusiastic grp.. =)

did my ad intepretation jus now.. very interesting.. i love doing this.. give me a course that allows me to analyse adverts all day.. i love doing stuff like tt.. am i majoring in the right stuff? hahaha i really wonder...

wanted to do my kinship essay jus now.. 6-8 pages! but i couldn't.. cuz i didn't plan ma.. and now that i've gone thru my writing class i tink i shld put the skills to good use.. i shld hv a central theme or something la.. or at least some sense of organisation if i'm dealing wif a few themes.. man.. so i'm gonna go offline to do that..

loads of things to report on.. but too lazy to do that.. hahah.. ask me when u see me la.. =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/22/2005 04:55:00 PM .

line for the day:gingko nuts make u smart.

ate gui ling gao today.. got freaked out by my sister who says that there is a possibility of it being made out of turtles.. SO GROSS.. i was seriously at puking point alr lo.. cuz i was totally enjoying eating it and i finished the whole can of it lo.. and den she had to tell me that.. and both of us were seriously freaking out so much i had to msg my mummy to ask her.. and she's so sweet.. she actually msged back pretty quickly and even called lo.. tink she knew the extent to which we were all totally losing it.. we were jus screaming and ewwing about..

GOSH

what a traumatic experience.. and yes traumatic is the new catch-word of the week.. haha realise that i've been using it.

someone needs a girlfren.. not a relationship.. bleah.. i'm boycotting that person now.. so sickening.

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/17/2005 10:59:00 PM .

hahah haven been blogging.. no time and no mood? i feel like typing but yet not typing.. lazy to go online and all tt.. hahahah =)

mid term's coming.. but its weird.. cuz i feel so cheated out of school.. we shld be having more school.. hahaha k.. i'm weird and i'm a lil cracked.. but still.. we're paying so much for a school term and yet we're not maximising.. so irritating.. and besides the breaks and hols disrupt so much of the school schedules.. and i feel like i'm not learning enough.. gosh.. this is crazy.. i'm saying something tt's not in normal behaviour.. but does that mean it is wrong? hahaha i tink i'm delving too much into soci le. hahaha i'm doing 3 soci related mods this sem lo.. can u blame me? hahaha

jus completed my grad. tracking planning thingie.. hmm.. i tink i wanna do lang, business, soci mods.. do u tink i hv enuff UEs to go round? hahaha

=)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/17/2005 02:10:00 PM .

this is the edited version of the pic.. done by QX haa.. so funny

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/13/2005 11:12:00 PM .

that's me on Chinese New Yr =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/13/2005 11:11:00 PM .

i feel like i get so refreshed just talking abt what Jesus means to me and what He has done for me in my life.. and i tink its jus so so awesome that God works things out this way.. i LOVe my Jesus!!! =)

i feel like i'm doing what i'm meant to do.. and i'm gonna pursue Him.. i'm gonna love Him and make Him priority.. wheeee... jus wanna be in His presence all the time and do what i was created to do.. to have a relationship wif Him..

the kids totally loved the games today.. i was kinda surprised.. praise the Lord.. and we had a lil rededication thing.. for the kids who were saying that thye weren't sure if they were going to heaven or not.. and man.. it was awesome.. some of em were like crying cuz they were touched by the Holy Spirit lo. and i believe in this generation of kids lo.. wow! so awesome..

had a pleasant surprise from some sweet gals from the youth..they actually bought flowers for us!! gosh.. totally didn't expect it.. and man.. i tink its quite ex one lo.. but they bought for some of the other youth too.. and wow! its cool.. i really appreciate their gesture.. makes me feel so appreciated and loved.. awwww.. love has alr begun to float in the air. but hey.. u're in church.. how can u not feel loved rite? hehe hehe.. if anything the church shld be a place of love.. where our God of love is rite? hahahaha

its gonna be a fun day watching ppl wif their valentines and gifts and all tt stuff.. hope they loads of song dedications.. it'll be fun! hahaha

happy valentine's day from the one who loves you most -- God

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/13/2005 11:04:00 PM .

right.. at least the confusion's out of the way.. and we've got some work done.. =) last nite met 2 of my project groups for online discussions.. haha cuz tt's basically all we could afford la.. we were late for a few submissions le.. and for the other one.. is operation code red cuz we are supposed to present out research on mon but yes.. stuff not done yet... hahaha!

wanna testify God's goodness and favour.. shows tt when u pray for favour it really does come.. God is faithful.. was feeling a lil down abt my writing class (remember?) and well yesterday i went for my conference wif my teacher la to discuss my paper (oh man.. i never thot i'd being doing this) and well.. the feedback was really positive.. he said that he thot this was a promising paper esp for the first draft and that i just needed to work on grounding the paper in the text more.. and i thot.. WOW! haa.. but feeling a lil bad cuz i only managed to collect my paper that was stuck in an envelope outside his door like right before my apptmt.. so oops lo.. and it was right in from of him la.. no hiding.. eveyrthing jus exposed.. hahahaah bleah.. shall be a guai gal soon.. been too notti recently.. never do readings.. never submit work on time.. never collect stuff on time.. ooops...

but yes.. God is good. =)

haa.. last nite qx edited my display pic for msn.. haa.. so funny never had my photo edited before.. i tink he jus couldn't resist it la.. after saying that its phone camera quality blur he was lamenting that it couldn't be edited. haa. oh well.. he managed somehow.. =P haa shall post the pics up.. den u see e difference ba. hahaahaha

oh and i've decided to use email and phone calls to get my anthro interview answers. later gonna go to the twins hse for lunch + net and den to tamp to meet my soci grp.. thank God they're meeting in tampines.. and den i shall come back to do work..

phew.. why is saturday such a popular day? i hv so so so many actitivites running concurrently lo.. first is yuen man's farewell.. which i can't go.. next is visiting relatives.. which i also can't go, den is edge which i have to miss cuz of project.. the next two are the project observation and net lo.. gosh.. now u can understand why i was so freaked out last nite... it doesn't help that all the places are simply too wide-spread to travel to and fro effectively.. think abt travelling from bedok to tampines to toa payoh to ang mo kio to marsiling to yishun and then back to tampines and den bedok again.. WOW i can cover the whole Singapore le.. hahaha mini amazing race.. more than likely i need amazing grace..

schwa: is the distinctive sound ur mouth makes when ur tongue is in a neutral position and u aren't doing anything wif it.. it sounds like this.. [errrrr]

hahaha so cute rite? elang is fun.. i've got fun group mates at least... wheeee!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/12/2005 08:51:00 AM .

argh! so busy! i'm getting a headache as to how to arrange and allocate my time tmr.. hahaha bad bad...

gotta do readings.. gotta call e companies.. gotta do my research.. gotta do my essay.. ooooooh la la la la..

jus thank God for wonderful ppl arn me.. and thank God for Him.. cuz i tink i'd be pretty burnt out by now.. but i know He's getting me thru.. =)

gonna check out the marketing stuff later.. gonna shoot out emails soon.. and call the companies next week..

new yr was fun.. best new yr ever i tink.. my family seems like its on the mend in a way.. =P and i'm super blessed by the hong bao money.. more than expected.. wow! God is so good..

k.. not much mood to blog tho i hv loads to blog abt.. haa some other time ba..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/11/2005 11:53:00 PM .

hahah.. guess wad.. i lost my voice way way way before new year even started.. heck.. even before reunion dinner! hahahah! this is hilarious.. but i sure ain't complaining.. haha its been very entertaining.. hahaha =) shows how things can really turn arnd..

looking forward to new yr.. thot that this yr i'd be the staid ol' twenty yr old.. but NooOoO.. i'm still every bit the lil kid come new yr.. hahaha looking forward to wearing my nice nice clothes.. meeting up wif family.. and erm.. hopefully munching on the goodies.. haa.. but i tink i'll skip em this yr la.. or rather.. i'll jus hv a lil of everything.. hahaha

did i mention that i lost weight? YES! on my scale i'm now 49kg.. but i dunno how zun4 that is la.. lemme tell u..the feeling of losing weight is exhilarating.. haha now to see if i can keep it off.. there's the ultimate test tonite.. BUFFET.. hahahah its jus 1hr30mins to leavng the hse..

jus realise that we're so so lucky to have relatives to bless us wif dinner every yr.. i'd never given it much thot till tt nite when i told esther abt it and i realise that it really isn't a very normal thing to have relatives pay for ur share of the dinner year after year at pretty good restaurants.. wow! God is so GOOD!

i luv my Jesus. He's always there for me.. awesome!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/08/2005 04:31:00 PM .

i'm a blogger junkie... ahahah this is my third post for the day i tink...

=)

my jie jus came in and said 'ming!' haa.. luv it when she does tt...

i luv my family.. had a good time wif my dad jus now.. haha he very funny lo.. den we were like decorating the hse and all tt.. so cool.. feel like he's jus so open now lo.. i was expressing my dislike for the dragon.. and the big headed things.. yuck.. and he didn't put em lo.. hahaha i'm so glad he listens.. =)

started my interviewing.. thot of the questions le.. and i asked my dad loadsa stuff.. tho i tink i agitated him a lil..but guess he knew and he made up for it la.. my dad's real sweet..

wheee.. and my mummy always takes care of me.. hahaha wheeeee

family!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/05/2005 11:21:00 PM .

feeling a lil woozy rite now.. its prob e virus or whatever it is..

cancelled out on the day's activities.. and to think sat is like my busiest day.. now tell me something.. why does 'busiest' suddenly look so foreign to me?

hmmm..

seems like everybody's heading down to sentosa.. haha.. pan's going.. so is ian.. maybe they'll bump into each other.

this whole week stretching till vday is gonna be one heck of a week.. haha.. wad wif new yr and vday following hot on its tail.. this week is gonna rock.. i shall expect to see a lot of flowers and teddy bears and bubbly pink things.. hmmm... red and pink.. an interesting combi eh.. celebrates both new yr n vday.. =)

i suddenly feel a lil psychotic.. haha like i'm talking to myself.. anyway..gonna use this day to chill out.. maybe i'll read my readings later.. but yes.. basically.. its a stay home day.. realise that there's no day for me to stay at home without doing anything impt.. haha cept for thursdays la.. but well.. tt's reading and homework day.. heh..

woolalalala....

i lost weight! yes!! =) i'm super happy...

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/05/2005 01:03:00 PM .

wow.. had a really really fun fun FUN day! hahaah was out wif e ohana gals.. hahaah diaow say until like macam so many of us like tt.. hahaha its erjie and xiaomei la..

it felt so so good to finally be out wif em both at e same time lo...hahah and i was pleasantly surprised when i saw xiao mei at the swaps table!!! goodness.. i totally jus ran and hugged her lo.. *hugs* hahah cuz i totally didn't expect it.. thot we'd be meeting her at bishan etc etc.. and man.. if we actually did ar.. our plans would've turned out sooooo different fr what we did yesterday lo.. hahaha

xm was jus commenting that its nice to be old enough and rich($$) enough to do wad u like.. and i kinda agree wif her.. i mean rich like not buying a whole condo blah blah rich.. but rich like having enuff money to enjoy a good meal together.. take a bumboat ride along singapore river.. watch a good movie.. wow! this is the life man.. and wif the favourite ppl of ur life too! awesome..

watched hotel rwanda.. my goodness.. can cry my eyes out lo.. so sad.. told e gals that i jus felt like screaming "what the heck!" most of the time..and of cuz directed to all the western powers etc etc.. cuz its like here are ppl dying and caught in cross fire but there is NO help coming... one thing that stuck me also was wad the journalist said.. about them filming all the footage they can to tell the world abt the situation..and the people will jus go.. "oh that's terrible" and they go back to eating their dinners.. and man.. that is SO true lo.. how many times do we actually take the action to intervene for the people who need it? these ppl really had no voice lo.. in the civil war between the hutus and the tutsys over 1 million ppl died in 100 days.. and they killed the next generation aka the children cuz they jus wanted to wipe out the minority totally lo... goodness! i tink the hutu and tutsy labels are prob the different races lo.. apparently the hutus were discriminated against long ago and the tutsys were put in charge.. hence the rebellion..

felt like the director did a super good job on the film lo.. cuz he presented a pretty balanced view la actually.. as much as i felt like i disliked the UN and the western powers.. they were actually the ones that gave a help that i thot was much more permanent lo.. and not everybody is like apathatic over the situation there.. i remember one part abt the head police(i tink) getting so agitated over the fact that he didn't commit any war crimes but he would be accused of em when the western powers caught hold of him lo.. and i thot.. man.. mayb our view of the middle eastern world has been skewed all this while by the western powers (i'm not saying who) but yes.. u get the point..

interestingly.. there was one scene where the child was clutching at the mum's cross(that she was wearing on her neck la.. this one not passion of the Christ.. haha! sorry lame) and when Paul(e super super li hai the guy aka hero aka worthy to gain my respect and admiration) saw it he initially told the gal to let go of it cuz the mum needs to sleep..but den.. when he saw the Cross.. he suddenly got the idea that would help them out of the situation ie to go to the hotel diplomat where the police general could get his luxury items.. cuz Paul had initially gotten the general to help protect the hotel they were all seeking refuge at but he refused cuz he couldn't get paid(nothing more to bribe le). anyway.. bottom line is.. why the Cross? i was looking for some semblance of a cross somewhere in the building.. but i couldn't find it.. tho later the gals told me that there was a cross in the hotel safe.. but yes.. i thot it was interesting that a Cross was shown at the final moment of desperation where there is simply nothing else.. and i noticed that it was only when Paul looked at the Cross and held it in his hands that he got the solution for his problem... and the child instinctively clutched the Cross.. almost as if she knew that it would be her only way out.. symbolically speaking..

perhaps we need to learn how to go to the Cross in our times of need.. perhaps we need to be like little children again with our child-like faith.. going to Jesus instinctively in times of need..

found that scene really stuck to me lo.. and u know wad.. i realise that there's a certain pattern lo..

think abt it:
pharoah killed all the baby boys in the land of Egypt before Moses was sent to set the Israelites free.
king Herod killed all the baby boys so that he could get rid of Jesus
Hitler tried to exterminate all the Jews.. in the Holocaust.
and now we see in Hotel Rwanda that the Hutus killed the children cuz they jus simply wanted to eradicate the entire race of tutsys...

isn't it interesting that the same murderer shld have the same pattern, style and objective of killing?

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/05/2005 11:27:00 AM .

argh! somebody is driving me crazy.. argh!!!!

can't stand it ar... blah blah blah blah blah blah!!!!

i know i shld be a good fren who listens and be there for frens.. and i wanna be a good fren cuz i care for em..

but.. i dun wanna be some trashbin for ppl to pour out their probs.. esp when i hv stuff to do lo.. bleah.. oh sigh...

anyway.. i told the person how i felt abt it la.. like he's gotta learn how to cope wif problems and learn from em.. cuz it is possible to do that.. and cuz he's calling me during my difficult week tt's why i feel like its really bothering me la..

oh well.. hope he doesn't feel bad over it la.. gosh..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/03/2005 10:03:00 PM .

okay.. i'm back.. actually not very recently la.. but yes.. i'm back from my field research observation exercise.. heh heh.. for my anthropology class.. and man.. it was an eye-opener.. haha! i enjoyed myself so much.. so much tt i even started observing ppl when i stepped out of the lift. haa..

rite.. for the un-enlightened.. i had to do this field research activity that required me to stay in a lift for abt half an hr and observe the ppl in there.. this meant that i had to take note of how they stand.. what they wear.. how they react to my presence.. what happens when they see a stranger taking notes on them.. how they arrange emselves in the lift.. etc etc..

so yes.. i did jus that.. stood at all four corners of the lift and waited for the ppl to come in..

man.. some of their rxns were super funny lo.. i had ppl trying to peep over my notes and see what i was writing.. but of course.. i'm left-handed and my words are ilegible la.. haha and some were secretly observing me thru the mirror.. esp when they realised i was writing. and that i wasn't getting off at all.. they were all very shocked tt i talked to em.. or made comments like asking abt what they're doing.. hahah.. so cool.. and lemme tell u the most oblivious ppl are the young skool kids lo. hahaha they jus keep talking.. the men were the most suspicious ppl of all la.. and i had this situation where the same ppl tt took the lift wif me came in again.. and imagine the look on their faces when they realised i was still in the lift.. hahah! they jus kept staring and looking and wondering what the heck i was doing in the lift lo.. hahaha super funny lo.. =)

consolidated and analysed a whole lot at starbucks where i had a coffee break after spending that claustrophia-inducing lift.. hahaha believe me.. even if u're not claustrophobic, staying in a lift for half an hr does make u one.. =) so i had to get out and enjoy a cuppa while i organised my thots and put all that i could tink of down.. it was nice.. was alone and for once i didn't really mind.. i even observed ppl's gazes falling on me when i was writing lo.. but i was jus so busy scribbling i didn't care..

den i thot i'd observe the escalators.. cuz i wanted to see how different ppl behaved.. it wsa kinda intersting cuz i realised that ppl talk more freely on the escalators than in the lifts.. and despite it being a public conveyor belt. .. u could still tell who were together and who weren't.. so it was quite interesting.. if they weren't together..t hey would never hv eye-contact.. =P most ppl also tend to gaze while waiting.. whether in the lift or on the escalator.. on the escalator ppl gaze in more directions la.. hahaha more things to see ma.. =)

it was SUPER interseting la.. but yeah.. now i gotta type a 5 page report on it.. but this is certainly gonna be an essay that i'll enjoy.. heh heh.. i tink i partially wrote it on my notebook alr lo.. cuz i jus had to reflect and evaluate and analyse it.. it was jus such a phenomena.. =)

looking forward to my second field research proj.. during cny where i'm gonna interview my family abt my family.. hahahah so cool!!!!!!!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 2/02/2005 08:14:00 PM .