Love, or Pride?

the things i do for rag...

yesterday i got assigned to do the very scary assisted cartwheel.. goodness.. okay.. this time with more success and less face kicking.. but yes.. i kena a lot of friction cuz of the guy's pants.. as a result i now got a bit of abrasion on my left shoulder.. gargh..

i guess the neck-drop looks easier.. but the guy matters alot ba.. ytd the group was split into the cartwheelers and the neck-droppers. hahah we all look like professional stuntmen now.. hahaha! the neck drop is basically a shine(aka salsa slick move) where the gal is supposed to jus bend back wif her knee bent till her head is super close to the ground.. and the guys hands are supporting her neck.. well.. its fake support la.. but still.. it does help.. and den the gal has to come up and rest on the guy's back and slide down all the way to his knee there.. and den he will jerk his calves that area up and propel the gal's head up again to standing position.. haa.. sounds chim rite? but its not tt chim.. tho it looks super good if done correctly.. =)

the dance is more or less coming together ba.. i like the drama that we're involved in as part of the presentation.. i tink its so broadway-like lo.. heh heh.. and the front part is a lindy-hop-esque kinda thing with some elvis song.. den next is acting and being very exaggerated.. which is fun.. to the tunes of mama mia =)

pretty cool.. if not for the fact that my old roller bladign wound.. remember the one on my elbow? yes.. its opened up again.. cuz i was rolling on the floor and den i prob dragged it on something sharp.. so it kinda cut the skin open again.. it hurt like mad la! and den i went to wash it.. felt super super pain.. gosh.. remember my low tolerance for pain ya? hahah =) but oh well.. all in a day's work as a rag dancer i guess...

and oh.. i didn't get the writing asst position thingie.. but i'm not sad abt it la.. after all i did tell God that i'll leave it up to Him to give it to me or not.. and i guess He jus has bigger plans for me.. heh heh heh.. plus.. i was half wishing i didn't get it.. cuz tt'll mean i can pract for dance a bit more.. =P haa.. and in all things.. praise the Lord!

-beams-

i keep on walking took her pride away at 7/28/2005 01:14:00 PM .

okay.. this entry is definitely gonna make u guys sit up and wonder whether i live in celluloid world or the real world.. esp if u've alr read the previous entry.. if not.. go and read it first!

here it is...

my sister was telling me the other day that she knows the same person with the same name.. B. and she was asking me whether its the same guy or not la.. and maybe it was sisterly instinct(aka.. wanna protect me kind) or maybe it's jus the known fact that singapore is indeed small. but we did a test jus now on B. i asked the same question my sister asked way way way back 2 yrs ago.. and guess wad.. the answer was the same!

bingo!

its the same guy that tried to pick my sister up at a soci soc bash 2 yrs ago and invited her out on a 'date'(erhem.. sounds familiar?) at marina sq for choc fondue. and for those who are wondering.. the question to him was :

where's the best place to go for choc fondue?

sister says: marina sq, cuz tt's wad he told her.. and he'll continue wif.. my cousin owns a shop there.

B says: marina sq
.
.
my cousin owns a shop there.

Oh my GOODNESS!

hahaha and of cuz me and my sister had a good luff over it.. but not before my sis warned me abt him la.. and i'm jus so so so glad that i didn't let my guard down.. phew! thank God.. both of us are actually quite indignant yet amused that the same guy can go after both sisters without knowing it and actually get found out!

turns out this guy is really really quite a metrosexual who is also VERY buaya.. cuz he knows he's good looking. no doubt.. he makes for good company.. as a fren.. if he's not busy alr chasing another skirt in the area.. but still.. it jus says that u shld always be careful la.. and i'm glad me and my sis are united in this sense.. cuz we're so open wif each other.. i'm glad i told her also la.. heh.. and we were jus commenting that we shld both meet up wif him and den whack him wif our handbags and say.. how could you do this to MY sister! (haa.. see tt's the thing wif having sisters.. u can use the same sentence and it'll still hv the same effect can u imagine.. u and the brother? 'how can u do this to MY sister.. wait.. brother.. wait.. hmmm..)

and also during the time when i was talking abt my sis.. u see i like talking abt my sis cuz she's so wonderful.. i'm proud of her! =) i mentioned her name and almost immediately, B was like.. nicole kwan?? at that moment i gotta admit.. i did feel like.. eh? how come he respond so fast? and now.. we know why.. heh heh.. prob got back and hit at his past.. heh! oh well.. too bad.. my sister is happily attached and u dun get her.. boo!!

sometimes i really feel like i'm living in the movies.. and this is jus one of em stories to prove it.. haa..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 7/27/2005 11:39:00 AM .

alright... yesterday was an interesting day.. met up with B for ice cream. totally unexpected cuz its one of those out of the blue kinda things. it all happened one day when i was jus complaining abt my short hair la.. for those who hv me on msn.. u know the works. haaa..

and he jus went.. well.. there's nothing like a good sundae to cheer u up den.. or something along those lines.. and i agreed la.. i mean.. it is true.. sugar does get u high =) and ta da.. it somehow turned into an outing which materialized yesterday on a wet afternoon @ Holland V swenson's.

at this pt.. i must confess my impeccable sense of misdirection in Holland V.. let me tell u.. tt place is completely foreign to me.. save for swenson's which i went to after my USC camp la.. and tt's like the only place i know tt's a lil more familliar than the rest of em.. haa yes.. i know.. swakoo...

but anyway.. he was perfectly nice abt me not knowing the way at all..and yes.. the meanie in him tried to scare me by saying tt he also dunno the way.. but too bad la.. wrong girl to scare.. haa.. i'll jus turn arn and say.. okay.. let's get lost together den.. =) wahahah! now u know which person u wouldn't wan to be stuck with in a foreign place rite? hahaha instead of getting out we jus carry on getting lost.. its really fun u know.. shld try it at times.. but of cuz.. the intention shld fit the occasion la.. if u're really down and lost.. pls.. don't try to get even more lost..

okay. lame.. i tink i'm losing it.. haaa..

i'd admit la.. i was a lil paranoid tt it would be a no-show.. haa.. i dunno why.. call it female insecurity la.. but i guess i'm the kinda girl that likes to take it slow and steady.. if u suddenly ask me out like tt and i barely know u.. i'll get really really suspicious.. haa.. guess its something that can either work for u or against u.. didn't help tt he was late.. but thankfully we had each other's numbers la.. (can u imagine? we almost forgot to get each other's numbers.. haa talk abt organized..) and he apologised cuz he was ferrying his freshies and sheltering em from the rain after their matric fair.. haa.. to that msg i replied 'awww.. so sweeet.....' haaa...

was really interesting talking to him.. maybe cuz he jus talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks... and u get the idea don't u?

hahah not tt it was a bad thing la.. cuz it made for very interesting conversation and lemma tell u.. he's got a LOT of stories to tell lo.. the one the made me crack up the most was his encounter wif a disorganized schizo in the middle of the nite while he was jogging.. haa.. even my sis cracked up on that one.. hahahahahah! its a story i tink only he can relate effectively la.. =) but wad was really amazing was tt.. he wasn't such a pain in the butt! haha okay.. for those who dunno know who i'm talking abt.. here's the story..

during the trials for one of my focs there was this stinking irritating guy who was jus so AP u could strangle him.. and yes.. tt guy jus so happens to be B. haa.. obnoxious i tell u.. one single word describes him OBNOXIOUS.

haa.. and yes.. he knows now that i thot he was irritating la.. cuz i fessed up yesterday.. =P so yes.. it was really gratifying ot know that the real him wasn't as irritating as i thot of him to be la.. phew! otherwise it would've been a very very torturous session of ice cream.. heh..

and before u guys think i'm gushing over him.. i'm not.. i guess its jus been such a long time since i've gotten to know a person right from the start without any other intros from others like background knowledge or wad.. but its jus getting to know him face to face.. so u must understand.. i take in a lot of stuff from such encounters.. haha cuz i'm analysing him!!! -gasp- yes.. i'm the kind that analyse pp that i dun know very well.. like.. i'll jus see like oh.. he's this kinda person or that kinda person.. don't worry.. my frens.. i dn't scrutinize and try to map ur actions la.. its jus my way of getting to know pp better.. =) heh heh... -evil luffer-

next interesting revelation was also the fact that he actually READS lotr... and i mean.. tt's miraculous la.. he's like some 'himbo'/metrosexual la.. and he's jus as into lotr as me n erjie.. which is very very surprising.. hahaha we were actually discussing the stuff int he book and all tt.. so yes.. i'm prob lending him my lotr discs.. my precious vcds.. hopefully he's one to take care of stuff... but den.. seeing how he carries himself.. he prob does la.. heh.. =) and erjie.. this shld interest u.. he's from choir.. and he's stil in the alumni.. so erjie.. -nudge nudge- go get to know him la.. heh heh.. now this is weird.. cuz i'm chatting to u while i'm typing this..b ut i'm not actually syaing this to u.. wahaha! -hugs-

all in all.. it was a pleasant encounter.. got lots more that i've observed la.. but i tink its gonna be some kinda overlaod for u guys.. heh.. he paid for my ice cream ytd so i'm obliged to return a favour la.. haa jian4 zao1 on his part.. but oh well.. as frens.. why not rite? so erjie.. it wasn't a date! i insist that it wasn't.. =P heh...

i keep on walking took her pride away at 7/26/2005 01:21:00 PM .

yippee! i'm so happy.. i got my module! biosemiotics!! wohoo.. its a new module la.. so i'm kinda hoping that the prof will go easy on us.. but it sounds nice rite? i mean.. anything wif bio in it.. i'm going for it! bio jus happens to be another love and interest that i do better in.. haaaa! so cool so cool! praise the Lord! for a moment there before checking the results i was kinda afraid that i wouldn't get the module.. but i was so wrong.. God gave it to me! yaaay.. thank u Daddy! =)

later going out for ice cream and den for dance... heh.. shall see how everything goes la.. been praying that i'll be guarded in wisdom and discernment la.. heh...

hmm.. can't decide if i wanna take psycho linguistics or mass media.. i like both leh.... hmmmmm

i keep on walking took her pride away at 7/25/2005 11:12:00 AM .

i'm am so blessed.. i feel like i can't be blessed anymore.. and i jus wanna share the blessing wif everybody else!

u are special.. yes you.. and u don't look funny.. u look nice is what ever u wear.. don't let anybody tell u otherwise.. -hugs-

i keep on walking took her pride away at 7/25/2005 12:34:00 AM .

going for dance later.. the rest are gonna go china black and chiong from there.. but i tink i can't join em la.. my throat is terrible la.. and i jus wanna come back early and rest.. hahaha tmr there's swaps bbq.. that one also dunno if i can go wor.. must see how i feel first.. or alternatively.. i'll go there and not eat at all.. heh.. =)

i tink i really hv too many yahoo groups.. esp those that are active.. hahah cuz i don't check my mail for a day and i see like 78 unread msgs lo.. and they're not spam(well.. if u dun consider yahoo groups spam) but yes.. they are all from my beloved dark side and rag ppl.. hahaha i really thank God for these two opportunities.. i mean.. they've really opened up my social circle in uni.. haha and it feels good to hv frens la.. seriously.. =) hahahah! okay..now i sound like some socially deprived animal.. heh..

but yes.. i constantly have to remind myself with this phrase:

be cool but never cruel to those uncool.

yes.. i hv a problem with that.. and i know that God is teaching me to be a fren to everybody.. and yup.. i wanna be more like Jesus! =) jesus sat and ate and hung out wif the 'sinners' of the time.. pp that others didn't want to hang out wif.. and that drew pp to Jesus.. cuz He was jus different.. so fearless and assured in His identity that He simply didn't care abt wad pp thot abt Him.. all He wanted was for pp to know and feel loved arn Him.. wad an awesome guy.. -swoons-

oh! point of grace is nice! hahah go get their cd.. super super good..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 7/20/2005 12:12:00 PM .

i'm back!

haha.. i feel like i'm always coming back from something.. haven't been spending much time at home at all.. or sleeping at home for that matter.. i feel like i'm barely in my bed for a few days and -poof- i'm sleeping in some chalet and talking nonsense.. hahaha not that i mind.. esp when i've got good company.. heh heh.. but yeah.. i tink my travelling days for this hols is over.. cept for the nite before rag when we jus cheong(not pub) our way to the finale.. =)

that would be 5th of aug..

anyways.. spent the nite at costa sands pasir ris wif wasabe! woohoo! or well.. whatever that's left of it.. all in all there were the 8 of us.. 4 guys, 4 gals.. lemme list em down la k?

kyle
oliver
amanda
chang yi
su teck
kwee ting
erjie
me!

yup.. tt's all of us.. had a pretty good time there actually.. hahah thank God it didn't turn into some kinda drunken party.. cuz they had planned to drink the nite thru.. or rather it sounded that way to me.. so i was really really praying and preparing myself for some escape plan shld they get too high for me to tahan or sleep safely.. heh heh.. cuz after all there are guys arn ma.. and i dun wanna make my mum worry for me too.. haha =) but yeah.. in the end me, kyle, amanda n chang yi chonked out while the mahjong khakis played thruout the nite! hahaha -hats off to u guys-

dunno why.. but i jus felt so comfy wif all of em there.. hahah i tink i'm really jus some xiao mei mei there lo.. -beams- i'll admit.. it does feel good to be a lil sister..tt's why i like hanging arn my sister so much! hahaha cuz she gives me the tender loving care (tlc) i need.. wahahaha!

anyway.. .later gotta head down to marche for a final swaps foc comm meeting.. jus to round things up.. won't be eating much i guess.. too much money going out le.. i no $$ le.. somemore i need to pay for dnd stuff.. gargh..

speaking of dnd.. its like after rag lo.. i seriously have no idea how i'm gonna make it thru la.. hahaha and i feel kinda bad.. cuz the person asked me so many times whether i going for dnd and i kept saying no.. but now.. hahaha guess what? i'm going! but yeah.. gonna sit wif my proggies la.. so i guess it'll be good fun.. =P

heh heh.. maybe its time to take things easy.. i've got too much on my agenda le.. haha too many activities to take note off le.. was telling su teck n somebody(erjie is it? or is it kweeting? hmm) that i got the event dates mixed up lo.. and now i'm having a tad bit of difficulty trying to categorize my frens.. like i dunno where they come from le.. and i jus know em.. but... my brain stops there.. hahahaah cannot classify anymore le.. hahaah maybe i'm jus tired.. it felt so good to jus veg out yesterday in front of the tv! shioooook....

NO MORE DESPO HSEWIVES LE!!! WHY?!?!?!?!?!

-sad-

i keep on walking took her pride away at 7/19/2005 03:18:00 PM .

alright!! i'm back from usc camp and i seriously seriously enjoyed myself!!! hahaha so many funny things happened lo.. and when i told my sis abt it she also laughed like mad.. haa..

i'm sorry.. i feel a little incoherent now.. and all i know was that.. i went in to the camp thinking like.. man.. i hope this pp know how to have fun.. and i came out knowing for a fact that these pp are a great bunch to hang out wif.. and even now as i tink back.. i feel even more like.. they're not the stuck-up bunch i thot they were when i first joined usc.. but they're like normal.. like everybody else.. i know its weird for me to say that since i'm part of em and i actually think i'm pretty normal.. but i guess its different for me in a way that.. i'm prob the only tpjcian in there and among my frens.. and i'm not the kind that got in by excellent grades.. but by the grace of God.. so.. i'm truly humbled when i come up 'against' em in such situations. i jus thank God that i have this wonderful opportunity to work wif em and not jus tt.. but bond and make lasting frenships tht won't be forgotten jus yet.. =)

admittedly.. i felt really left out on the first day.. cuz i was prob one of the few who didn't go for last yr's camp.. plus.. i wasn't one of those who stayed in pgp or actively go out for stuff for usc la.. add on the cold i was having.. and pms.. u hv the recipe for anti-social behaviour man.. hahah i mean.. i jus didn't want to impress myself on anyone or speak to anyone for that matter except veg out and all tt.. and i tink laremy saw that.. so that sweetie jus kept cracking me up wif his jokes and his mini-cheers.. hahha! thank God for him.. after that.. things jus went really well.. and ya.. i really felt so so so much better.. and of cuz.. the next few days were the BEST! really.. i tink we've got the best freshies ever la.. i mean.. they're so onz and so auto.. i feel like they really bonded in the camp and they did their best lo.. =) and well.. i guess i felt a lil disappointed that we didn't get best og or something la.. cuz we really were a very good sport and we cheered the best cheers and stuff.. hahah but oh well.. i guess wad matters is that they enjoyed it la.. -beams-

had such a good time talking to jamie on the last nite too.. my fellow bro in Christ indeed. i mean.. we were like so honest wif each other and it jus felt so good to talk abt God, the one that we love so much.. and talking abt our promises to remain single.. and our struggles.. and testimonies.. wow.. i mean.. hearing such things were so so encouraging.. and after that when cheryl came into the room.. we all jus started talking more and more abt God and wad He's done for us lo.. woaah.. jus makes my hair stand hearing abt all tt lo.. its so amazing!

this camp was also pretty interesting la.. haha cuz i feel sooo flattered by wad some of the pp said abt me la.. heh heh... and some of the things that happened.. heh.. picked up thru my radar.. =) oh well.. time will tell.. heh heh

and i'm going for swaps dnd after all! =P gonna sit wif my proggies.. we have a table together apparently.. and i bet i'm gonna enjoy myself! hahaha only thing is.. its rag la.. so dunno whether i can tahan all the way after rag till dnd and after dnd.. etc.. cuz chances of us staying up all nite before rag is super high laa.. and i honestly doubt i can function any more than my dance steps the next day.. hahahaha!! i'm one of those pp who need sleep one.. cannot anyhow skip.. hahaha

speaking of dance.. we performed for the freshies that day too! hahah and my head ogl was saying that i danced very well.. hahaha -beams- but i tink its cuz i hv a good partner la.. he leads me very well.. jus enough force and in the right way too.. hahah okay.. this sounds a lil wrong.. but ya.. its true!!!!

ohh.. thida called me jus now.. haha she's so sweet! and her english has improved so so so much!!! jus felt a lil bad that i had to cut the call short.. cuz my voice is like in a sexy mode now.. hahaha kinda 'lost' it on day 1 due to my cold and the shouting i guess.. hahaha but it was worth it man! wahahahahha...

tmr another busy day.. woohoo!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 7/15/2005 10:08:00 PM .

argh! sick! got the sniffles and i've got a camp on mon to thu.. gargh.. but must chiong.. and i know that it won't be a mistake goibng for it la.. cuz my og like super on like tt.. haha i'm seriously looking forward to meeting em.. =)

today went for the briefing.. haa.. at first i thot it'd be a full day.. like really really full.. but skali.. i jus cancelled eveyrting one by one.. first was edge.. den was movie.. den net got cancelled too.. cuz i was alr considering whether i can make it lo.. hahaha in the end after the briefing i went to bugis and bought the stuff i needed and den headed home.. haa.. thanks to ian who put up with all my whining and sent me home.. haa.. =P felt so bad that i couldn't catch tt movie he wanted to watch.. gosh.. but yes.. being the whiny me.. i wanted to go back asap and rest.. hahaha

printing out the prog stuff for usc camp.. and for the writing asst interview too.. need a refreshers course on wad the heck is a thesis and motive again.. hahaha rusty le.. =) for those that don't know.. i got to the second round! which is the interview! yay! praise the Lord! and now i'm jus giving it back to Him la.. if i get it i get it.. if i don't.. den i guess God has something in store for me.. heh heh.. a lil nervous abt it.. but i guess i'll jus do my best la.. =)

haa..

i jus told erjie tt next sem i'm prob gonna be some nerd la.. cuz the modules i'm taking really requires a whole lot more lo.. its like a whole nwe level.. really hope i can maintain my cap wor..

anyway.. my timetable is weird..(note: this is if i get all my mods.. if i don't.. i tink i'll jus faint la...) i start at 10 everyday except mon which i do at 4. and den thu is my most packed day ba.. the rest is quite slack.. yes.. i'm back to my five-day week.. i jus think that its better la.. in a way.. cuz if they need pp to come down for meetings.. at least i won't be so lazy and stay at home refusing to move or something.. and it'll make my bus/train pass worth la.. hahaha.. plus not as cramped.. tink with the mods i'm taking.. if i cut to 4 day week.. i'll be quite pressed for time and all tt la..

gonna do psycholinguistics, structure of words n meanings, social variation in el, islam and contemporary malay socities and this new mod call biosemiotics. =) hahaha looking forward to em.. but yes.. i will be a nerd.. and if i get my writing asst job.. i'll kinda be working htru term.. helping students.. but yes.. at least i get $$ and its something i wanna do.. shld i join a cca? will i be up to it?

hmm.. maybe next sem i shld be more involved in arts club.. hmm.. swaps i'm kinda done wif it le.. usc.. i'm like doing ad-hoc stuff for em.. but its kinda cool.. hahaha =)

la la la la la

i'm so thankful for my frens.. and family.. and of cuz my God.. =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 7/09/2005 08:23:00 PM .

watching desperate housewives now.. woohoo! i love the show.. i mean.. its dark and all.. but the plots is jus so nice lo.. so complicated and things are really not as they seem.. -beams- i like chim stuff.. but stuff that is not too chim also.. hmm.. oh well.. -shrugs-

i jus checked my group stuff for usc camp.. i feel so flattered.. they actually trust me enough to put me as asst ogl.. hahah i mean.. somehow when u're in programmes for one camp.. u jus kinda know how other camps work.. heh heh.. and i'm flattered that they gave me that role.. i will make sure my og does super well.. we're the DARK SIDE! woohoOO! bad guys always have more fun eh? =)

tmr going to settlers with progballs.. heh heh.. so cool! its a restaurant where u can play board games.. and i mean.. i love the concept! jus totally exactly the place for programmers to be in.. wahhahha.. and the best part is.. we're all so close cuz of swaps that i can be so so comfortable wif em.. hahaha uni is really when u learn a lot abt urself.. i thank God that i've become more open to pp le.. =PpP

ohh.. i jus got grad nite photos from erjie.. hee.. i look old.. but some of em are nice.. -beams-

had salsa jus now.. hahah another session on wed.. the steps are good.. heh.. can't describe em herhe.. very hard to.. but they're nice.. those in nus.. come for rag k? heh heh.. its gonna be good! =))

i keep on walking took her pride away at 7/04/2005 10:42:00 PM .