Love, or Pride?

haha.. this is a good one.. laughed real hard for this.. heh! =)

The Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/25/2005 11:40:00 PM .

alright.. i can't believe i jus switched my lappie on jus for the sake of blogging.. i tink i'm turning into a compulsive blogger.. gargh! but but.. i jus had to blog abt this.. hahaha just read finish the diary of a teenage girl book 4 - the one where she finally gets married.. whee! i never fail to be inspired by that book (if u tink i've mentioned this line before, yes i have. and yes.. i've read the books a million times each! haha)

but more interestingly, i was set off thinking abt the guy i'd like to marry.

and i can't help but realize that i really wouldn't be happy with someone who didn't share the same passion and zeal for God that I have. of cuz.. not expecting that he be some pastor or minister la.. (tho if he was and he were CUTE i wouldn't mind.. heh heh) but its jus that.. God's really been so much a part of my life that i can't imagine spending my marriage with another person who doesn't have that relationship with Him. and even if he's christian.. if he doesn't share my desire and passion for missions - and starts whining abt it someday - i'd think it'd be a very VERY difficult marriage.

well.. guess things might be too early to tell considering that i can't spot any eligible bachelors anywhere near me.. haa.. not that i'm always looking but hey.. doesn't hurt to jus open ur eyes a lil rite? heh.. =) anyways everything's in God's hands.. He knows what i'm looking for.. and He knows the best person for the role.. but honestly.. sometimes i find myself in a position where i'm wondering if God meant me for single-dom... NOooOOoooOo as childish as this sounds.. i do want to get married someday.. maybe for idealism's sake but i guess its always been this romantic notion of mine to find the 'perfect' guy and jus fall in love with him. -beams-

but den again.. God never made Man to be alone.. tt's why He started out wif Adam and Eve and He has put marriages together all over the world.. guess if He really means for someone to be single as a more effective ministry to the pp arn em He'll prepare em/me sufficiently.. that's what He did for Paul. which i tink is really cool btw.. cuz its like Paul was jus so on-fire for God thru out his life that he never stopped talking abt God. hmm.. maybe singlehood isn't so bad after all.. heh heh..

and speaking of ministry.. yeah.. i'd like my husband and i to really be able to glorify God wif our marriage.. as in.. i dun wanna jus get married and be a normal couple.. i'd want this union to make a difference to the world.. now tt'll really be something that i want to happen... =)

wow.. all this talk sounds like i'm on to somebody rite? wrong.. i'm really jus too busy to be able to sustain a relationship right now.. ha.. and esp since God kinda told me that i jus wasn't ready for one.. i'm not abt to run headlong into a relationship.. esp not one that dishonours God. i tink God's really preparing me to be the woman that He wants me to be.. and i know that all this preparation is gonna be good for His kingdom and for the time when i stand at the aisle with the man i love and be the best lady i can be for him.

=)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/25/2005 03:27:00 PM .

wow.. all i can say is.. praise the Lord that i was able to do the exam for soci.. =) considering that the past few days have been especially frustrating and nerve wrecking.. the exam is finally over. .and i'm now down to my last paper. phew! hallelujah!!

i tink God really gave me some sort of insight into my paper.. i mean. looking back.. i realize the questions that i did were really the ones that related to the content i felt impressed upon to mug hard for. u know how some facts jus stick to u? well tt's wad happened for the exam and i used wad i knew for the questions.. wow.. if its not God.. den wad happened man? guess God's really teaching me to lean on Him.. a lesson that is so simple but yet so forgettable in the face of trials/difficulties... a lesson that i've yet to master heh!

now i jus gotta give the results and my final paper to Him.. He's gonna see me thru.. and maybe its good to jus leave everything to Him ba.. it does make u feel much lighter.. heh.. anyway.. no point worrying rite? the papers' have alr been submitted.. nothing much u can do.. heh... =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/24/2005 01:45:00 PM .

being on the internet and having a better access to it certainly makes u blog more.. out of the sheer boredom of being online with nothing fruitful to accomplish. thus making this activity the most productive out of the many other options.. heh..

jus finished studying for my sc2214.. but somehow i tink my brain is refusing to take in anymore.. have i slackened? have i lost my drive for studying? or maybe i'm jus too excited abt next sem to care abt this sem.. hahah BAD!! cuz this sem matters.. and tho i can say that i haven done too badly thruout.. i'm pretty paranoid that i won't make the mark this time.. u know.. like keep my CAP or jus see it sliding down to no-where-dom. okay.. not that bad la.. but jus high expectations of myself la..

hmm... just read this off campuslife.com.. revelation indeed.. i tink i need to start doing things for the Lord and not for Man anymore.. that certainly sets things in place..

la la la.. started recapping stuff over a written document i started typing last nite.. abt all the stuff related to the course.. jus basically blah-ing out whatever i remember and what i tink is relevant.. heh.. i tink soci is one of those subs u gotta talk it out.. if u dun talk and express ur info... u'll nv really grasp it.. so since i'm not taking it with anybody i know online.. i shall jus be monologic and ramble on in a word document.. haa.. gonna attempt to try the questions i see at the back of the book.. shld be good for testing concepts and whether i really understand them or its jus half-baked.. heh... i HOPE their sound!! i can't bear the thot of studying everything all over again.. gargh.. alright.. here's laziness and complacency for ya.. NO i must study!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/23/2005 02:15:00 PM .

Lessons of Life
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.
The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.

Moral: Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. Don't judge life by one difficult season. Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come some time or later

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/23/2005 11:59:00 AM .

Winter

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/23/2005 11:58:00 AM .

Summer

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/23/2005 11:58:00 AM .

Autumn

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/23/2005 11:57:00 AM .

Spring

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/23/2005 11:56:00 AM .

i feel so bad.. my mum's face lit up when she mentioned that she thot switzerland was a nice place to go to.. and den i had to burst her bubble when i told her that anytime during dec was not a good time.. cuz i've got that xmas outreach thing to work on..

sigh...

actually i'd rather go on hol wif my mum.. cuz if i'm really honest.. i don't feel very much for this yr's outreach.. no doubt i wanna see pp come to the Lord during this season.. but... it jus looks terrible! gargh... and why oh why did i say i was gonna do the dance for em.. ar well... guess i hv to change how i look at it ba.. cuz it really isn't by the hand of Man alone that miracles happen.. but it really is God.. only that right now.. my eyes are pretty mortal and not very inspired.. heh... need a lot of help from the Holy Spirit.. hahahah =)

but ya.. i felt really bad when i had to turn my mum for like the millionth time?! i dun get it.. somehow our schedules jus don't match and den she'll go "its so hard to go on a holiday with u all" and it jus makes me feel worst.. its like the guilt trip (pun unintended) u know.. but think she doesn't know that it affects me this way. and cuz i feel guilty abt myself, i start to get all angsty abt not being able to go east timor (some negative feedback action la).. cuz tt would've been sufficient for me.. i dun need holidays or anything else when i can be out there doing God's work.

hmm... guess God's teaching me something.. that my mission field doesn't have to lie outside singapore.. and this is prob training ground for me, in that sometimes we dont get the glorious jobs and stuff that in our logical mind seems worthy.. and maybe tt's wad the xmas outreach situaiton is teaching me?

and man.. i felt bad ytd when i read xm's blog and realized that i totally forgot to wish her happy birthday on sat lo.. bleah.. i can't stand it when i screw things up like that. its like.. i know when pp's birthdays are and i do wan to make things special for em and make em feel loved.. but somehow my brain doesn't coordinate well with such things and the more i tell myself to remember the more i jus trip up and forget.. grrr.. sometimes i jus piss myself so much... so my greatest biggest and more sorriest apologies to xm... i really need to get an organizer or at least a phone reminder abt pp's birthdays.. i can't stand missing out on the birthdays of pp that mean so much to me.. its jus double the blow... =(

oh wow.. wad a depressing post.. haa... must be the weather and the time of the month combined in a lethal mix.

and i need dancers.. i jus wanna choreo and not perform.. if that is even possible..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/22/2005 02:13:00 PM .

okay.. today's exam wasn't too bad.. it was 60% and 40%.. soo well.. wrote like 7 pages in all.. but somehow i don't have a bad feeling abt it.. heh..jus hope prof stroud looks at points rather than length.. heh! cuz its like so many of em took extra answer booklets lo.. SO FREAKY...

just thank God that its over la.. heh.. cuz now i can focus on sc2214.. hope i do well for that one too.. heh.. but now i really gotta manage my time well le.. gotta do choreo for xmas outreach and prob sending sharon off plus gotta chaperone est's 10-12 girls for snow city on friday.. note i hv exam on sat.. so ya.. hope i can fit in stuff.. and jus now before exam esther wee gave me a call asking if i could take pastor miguel n olga's daughter out.. haa.. but den i cannot la.. exams lo.. i still haven study for 2214 .. and i gave myself a scare when i thot it was on wed cuz that'd leave me wif like one day to study? but turns out its on thu.. so thank GOD! phew...

and guess wad i was doing before my exam today.. i was learning my spanish lo.. haha of all things and of all times i was choosing to learn my spanish and pick it up again.. wahahah i am so smart... but yeah.. learning it again makes me feel like i really could do this.. like i could really be proficient in it someday.. =) ha.. e online lessons are really good.. esp the voice lessons.. cuz can hear the accent and pronunciation according to how spanish really shld be spoken.. heh.. FUN! =)

was trying to figure out my time table for next sem.. haa.. dunno if i shld take bahasa indonesia leh.. hmm.. cuz i do wan free days.. but if i do take bahasa.. den gotta commit quite a lot of days lo.. hmm.. ar well.. la la la la...

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/21/2005 06:11:00 PM .

wahahah learning spanish again.. the arrival of pastor miguel has inspired me to pick it up again.. and man.. im supposed to be studying for EL lo.. wad e heck.. i'm listening to spanish now.. wahahaha!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/21/2005 09:48:00 AM .

=)

i need to start coming clean abt my weaknesses.. i tink i've got too much pride.. so much that i jus begin to rely on my own strength and i forget that my life really isn't in my hands.. but in the hands of a God who loves me..

sat at the reservoir today and stared at the reflection of the clouds in the water.. i began admiring the portrait.. it was so beautiful.. but yet.. i realized that i wasn't looking at the real thing.. i was looking at a derivation perhaps.. and tt's wad i've been doing wif God.. i didn't forget Him in the usual way.. but i jus simply began to look at creation and 'worship' it rather than looking to the Creator who did it all.. i'm jus as bad as last time when i looked at horoscopes then.. but thank God for His grace.. today was a good day after the run.. and i told my sis that the run didn't seem difficult at all.. like i jus kept going.. guess God was doing some work in me there and then..

was a wreck last nite.. cuz the xmas production badly needs help with its dance.. and me, daph, mel, lynette n dawn are prob gonna try to put in a youth item wif a nice song wif faster beats.. so i was stressed abt tt.. and i got a lil freaked over exams.. tt i wouldn't be able to process fast enuff.. somehow.. and tt was wheni realized that i was taking things into my hands way too much.. so yes.. i jus lifted eveyrthign up to God.. and well..i'm gonna do my part.. but i'll rest easy in His arms..

tmr is blading wif dawn.. =) whee.. exercise does wonders for ur mind...

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/19/2005 12:18:00 AM .

i am on fire.. haa.. no not literally of cuz.. but.. i am WIRELESS! yes.. pure freedom.. .no more wires to keep me limited to the little space on my sister's table.. YES.. i can work from my desk outside.. finally.. i am so so happy.. an di realize what a wonderful gift my mum has given me.. cuz i jus realize taht i'm gonna be e only one.. so basically i'll be the only one enjoying this privi.. WOW.. i am SO blessed... wow...

words can't describe.. today i had a real nice chat wif God... its so amazing... i was talkinga bt some stuff to Him after my jog at the reservoir and den i came back.. read purpsoe driven life and voila.. its e same stuff tt i've been thinking /talking abt.. my goodness.. divine indeed..

God u are awesome.. never let me leave my faith and my relationship at the front door when i enter into situations.. -hugs-

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/18/2005 11:20:00 PM .

i am studying

i am studying

i am studying..

darn.

i'm NOT studying...

what the...

i've been surfing the net.. and if its even possible to be excited over what i'm gonna do next sem.. i guess it must be so! ha.. i was checking out the module list for next sem.. and well.. it does make me feel happy that next sem looks fun.. but more serious at the same time.. for one i'm prob gonna take on 3 elang/lit mods..

1. child language
2. media, discourse and society
3. feminist text n theory

plus i'm thinking of doing my long delayed bahasa indonesia lang module.. tho i'm not sure if it is wise or not considering that i've been resting easy on a 3 exam schedule for the past yr (including this sem of cuz)

in addition to that.. i'm gonna be taking a usp science mod.. if not.. 2 and i'll drop my funny idea abt the language.. that will be done some day when i'm bored and not into my modules.. (which i hope will never be the case) so more feasibly.. it shld be when i'm jus a sucker for hardwork all sem.. and when my CAP has solidified so good i can erm.. i can....... (fill in fav verb-TO BE) oh well.. so much for description.. all i saw in my mind's eye was ice.. probably the weather

speaking of that.. i WISH i was out right now.. the weather is lovely.. its so nice and hot!! and jus the best day to be down by the beach.. studying, tanning, whatever.. jus as long as i'm down by the beach.. -beams-

such a sucker for the outdoors and the sun.. of cuz.. when i feel like it la.. i tink i've been cooped up at home way too much.. it almost feels foreign to step out of home tho it was jus ytd that i did tat.. maybe its e studying.. it does get to you.. turns u into a nerd..

NERD! i saw this nice specs frame.. u know e ones that many pp have and i tink they look super nice on? those thick rectangularish frames? i saw em at tamp! so nice! i wanna get my frames changed! actually iw anted to for a long time.. but somehow my mum didn't see eye to eye wif tt idea (no pun intended) and well since she was the one paying i jus had to give in.. plus my lenses aren't exactly the cheapest in town.. so yea... i'm jus hoping my spec lenses are large enough to be fitted into the nice nice nice frame i saw that day.. pls pls pls pls!!

but den.. if not.. doesn't matter either la.. heh.. no biggies.. but of cuz if it does happen.. den whee! i'm glad for that..

BEAMS

here's the reading list for the past week:
1. Boy Meets Girl - Meg Cabot [absolute side-splitter]
2. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden [ u canNOT put it down once u've started]
3. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime - Mark Haddon [interesting perspective into the life of an autistic kid who's simply brilliant with maths and science.. maybe a side that most of us possess but keep hidden]
4. SC2214 readings - by various authors [good for the cynical]
5. EL2151 readings - Suzanne Romaine [cabbage!]

oh.. alright.. only the first 3 count as books.. but jus thot i'd add in the readigns to show how well i tink of em.. the numbers by the way indicate ranking.. tho i feel that i do the other two injustice by placing numbers beside them.. so it shld be

1. (first 3 books)
5. (readings)

wahhaha.. simplifies everything doesn't it?

honestly tho.. good authors make u step into character until the next good book comes arnd.. i personally walked arn thinking in the mind of a geisha until i read boy meets girl and as of now i'm a human resource executive having an exciting romance wif a HOT lawyer.. hahah okay.. not exactly reality but hey.. at least i'm not a geisha now.. for those that have read the book or know what geisha are.. well u shld know why i'm glad to be out of that persona, enriching as it might be.. heh! and well.. before being a geisha i was thinking a tad autistically.. so guess it jus gets better.. now all i need to do is get a book describing a nice successful college girl.. oh wait.. i DO have it.. shall read the diary of a teenage girl series again.. heh! =) and after this i might turn into a pig/chicken/cow/farmer/whoever lives on a farm after i read Animal Farm.. with luck.. after the exams i will swamp myself in the land of Narnia when erjie's done wif the Chronicles.. wahahahha! I LOVE books! and of cuz.. reading em.. heh!

boooooook wooooooorm....

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2005 01:30:00 PM .

i can't believe saula is gone.. off to east timor.. he gave eveyrone of us a hug today.. and man.. if its possible to feel both sad and happy at the same time.. tt was it..

pp say that the airport is a nice place.. but at times like these u wonder how pp manage to stay cheery.. but den again.. it really lies in the eyes of the beholder.. think abt families reuniting and the airport is a symbol of joy.. but think abt pp that are jus like family leaving.. that makes it heartwrenching..

love ya saula.. tho u'll never get to read this.. unless ian gives e address to u.. which he won't.. thank you for being the wonderful ym and bro-in-christ u've always been.. it takes someone to be a leader.. but its takes someone better to be considered family and fren.. =)

oh well.. shall get back to chomping on jelly beans.. and reading memoirs till i'm done wif it.. and tmr i shall start bia-ing for exams.. i jus submitted my paper.. thank God!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/13/2005 11:20:00 PM .

msn nick reads: is cookie monster chinese?

was watching sesame street jus now and it jus hit me that it might be a possibility. think abt this.. he like cookies.. think fortune cookies and he speaks with this sentence structure..

me no thinking/eating/etc -- fill in with own verb

translate to chinese:

wo3 bu4... something something something..

so hmm.. i got this sneaking suspicion that he IS chinese.. or rather..modelled after a chinese.. heh! interesting eh? den again.. he might jus still be that furry blue monster that he is.. with bad english resembling a young child who likes cookies.. haaa.. i tink too much..

here's another thing that got my attention last nite as i was watching this hk film wif my mum... some old flick. an advert came thru and guess wad? i saw my secondary school fren in it.. and she's a singer! my gosh.. coming out with album le.. olivia ong.. so if u see her on tv.. u heard it here first.. ha.. guess she's really come a long way in realizing her dreams.. she actually skipped her o's (stopping at n level) so she could conc on her career wif the now defunct mirai.. and i tink she prob went over to japan to break into the market there.. so hmm.. hope she makes it big here.. =) she still looks the same.. and well.. we used to know her as lee theng.. but yeah.. glad that she at least stuck wif the christian name that she liked rather than the one that mirai made her take.. alyssa.. so unlike her.. bleaah.. no doubt it makes for a great stage name..

so interesting eh? and to think this was the gal i kinda hung out with in sec school.. going to camps tog.. having meetings with her.. going on night walks and talking abt God.. heh! pretty interesting.. stays quite near me too.. but maybe she's moved.. ar well.. =) the thing abt growing up and moving on.. i tink as the generations go on opportunities are really opened up.. and it jus seems like everything's possible.. somehow.. maybe its the season of time or maybe its jus pure youthful optimism.. guess we'll never know..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/11/2005 03:10:00 PM .

the blogging compulsion begins... think its something that comes when u do too many essays.. cuz u find urself stranded wif a computer that has a keyboard.. and wad do u do? u type.. and when u're bored? u type still.. except that you're connected to the internet.. and poof! its what they call blogging.. whahaha!

posted timed 8plus plus plus

Listening to UB40’s rendition of Can’t Help Falling in Love with You. Haha.. can’t help thinking how slow Elvis sang it back then.. and what’s more.. people adored it! They just lapped it up like anything..
Oh well.. differeing tastes of the generation here and now.. to me, UB40 are just doing the best job. Heh! Realize the class 95 plays all the oldies.. which is good.. some new songs these days are terrible.
Can’t seem to get my act together and start typing.. really want to finish this paper asap.. I’ve got class to teach this week and saula’s presentation to put together if we’re really going ahead with it. And net as well.. and I realized something. I’m not quite so easily stressed up as I was in my first year. Experience? Perhaps, but somehow it takes a toll on my body.. or so mummy says. Ar well… at least I’m not sulky and grouchy like I was last time when I had deadlines to meet. =)
Maybe I shld keep up with typing random thoughts into my lappie like this when I don’t have access to the internet so I really get what I want to say down. Somehow when I’m online everything gets truncated.. and that includes my thoughts as well. Perhaps that’s why my blog isn’t updated as often as I would like it to be. Think with this new practice/habit I might just be blogging multiple entries at one time. Hahah so stay tune faithful readers!

---
post timed now..

done wif my research paper.. woohoo! jus need to fine tune it le.. but i'll look thru that another day.. shall spend tmr preparing for cw lesson this sun.. and reading memoirs of a geisha.. decided to reward myself with that book.. yay!

read finish malory towers the final book le.. my goodness.. i can't believe i can get so sentimental.. i felt like crying more and more as i read the last 2 books.. haa.. enid blyton's really good.. jus wished she had written abt them when they went to college.. certainly wouldn't interested me even more.. haaa.. maybe tt's why i like reading diary of a teenage girl.. cuz caitline goes to college and GETS MARRIED.. wahahahah!

losing it... =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/11/2005 01:05:00 AM .

i guess it could be worst.. i could be stuck in school in this rain and be tortured with the pain in my belly.. haa.. but den again.. i'm not.. so why imagine the worst? hahaha woaaah.. philosophical moment.

anyways.. not in school.. and haven been in school since mon.. this is bad.. i'm like only going to school on mondays.. but today's the last day of school anyways.. heh heh.. and i didn't know that i had my elang lecture! hahah talk abt being blur! haha but i wouldn't hv made it anyway.. i woke up at 4am and 5plus am to crap.. cuz i've got this really weird bowel movement thing going on.. and it stinks.. in every sense of the word.. alright i shall spare those of u reading this the gross details but ya.. i jus kept asking myself if i really wanted to have kids as i sat on my throne.. not exactly in the clearest state of mind eh? bet ya can tell.. hahaha the pain was excruciating...

brings me back to the moment when i was in pr. sch. somehow i've always been plagued by gut problems.. somehow.. if it wasn't constipation.. it'd be diarrhoea [ha! i spelt it right! its one of those hard to spell words] and i guess it prob boiled down to my own nervosity la.. jus sets me off.. tink it went all e way till jc? until i went for encounter and everything jus changed.. i believe it was God that healed me and made me whole again.. cuz after taht i've never gotten a panic induced problem ever.. =) haa.. save for these odd ones which are prob caused by some funny bacteria or virus la.. cuz ytd i had a high fever la.. oh man.. jus felt cold all over and i had to put the ice pack over me head.. heh.. ar well..

trying to formulate an experiement now.. OH MAN.. its so freaking difficult la.. cuz u gotta take into consideration what things to put in or not..and while on the surface u got the general idea when u go down into the nitty gritty it jus messes wif ur mind man.. u start thinking whether to put this or not.. and den pretty soon u wonder if u shld be basing ur expt on this hypothesis or not... which is badla.. esp since i've come 2/3rds into my paper le.. hhahaha like i've got the sign relations and process thingie planned out le.. jus need to type it all down.

oh.. know wad's weird? i dreamt v v super scientifically last nite.. hahaha i tink i tink too much le.. cuz its jus weird.. i was dreaming of quantitative ways to evaluate something.. and den i dreamt of this book on ecological niche.. but thing is.. the content was abt something really deep.. like there can never be a stable ecological niche.. or something like that la.. hahahah! my brain ar.... psychologists out there.. can explain this phenomenon? only happens during my research paper moments somemore.. haa..

hopefully can finish my paper soon.. by friday is best... cuz sat and sun will be packed as usual.. this sun is esp. special cuz we're giving saula a farewell treat prob.. he's gonna be going to east timor long term... -sobs- i'm totally gonna miss him.. cuz he's really been such a wonderful bro to me.. plus Youth Minister.. its like.. everytime he shares and all tt i'll always be so ministered and eveyrtime he prays for me.. i always feel the Holy Spirit move me to tears.. and sometimes i'll jus lament to my sis saying dunno what God tells him when he's praying for me also.. haa.. can u imagine its something paiseh... whoops! but ya la.. jus a side thot.. =)

but yeah.. he's leaving.. our Big Friendly Giant is leaving!!!!!! nooOOoooOOo...

he's really contributed so so much to our youth and everything lo.. i mean.. wow... and i really wonder who's gonna step up to take his place as YM over our region.. gary certainly has his hands full with his side of things.. so i really wonder la.. guess we really gotta see the Youth thru this transition with loads of prayer...

thinking of doing a 'tribute' of sorts for him.. and tt's one of the reasons why i wanna finish my paper soon.. so i can do it... he's like leaving this weekend? its so crazy ... the life of a missionary ar...

which sets me off thinking.. my fren commented tt nite that my major was like steering me in the direction of missions and i have no doubt that i have thot of this before.. like.. i'm prob gonna go work for a bit after i grad.. den go off to bible college maybe do some theology and den i dunno.. perhaps God is gonna use me in another community away from sg where i'll prob do missions as well as teaching there.. cuz my linguistics background would enable me to do recce trips by noting down e stuff abt e lang.. and english is a lang still tt's in high demand. heh..

well.. tt's e impression i get anyway.. dunno how much of it is gonna come thru tho.. its really up to God.. and frankly.. i'm glad it is.. cuz it jus makes me excited to know that i can do something for Him in His timing and plan.. =) jus praying that i'll never lose this fervour and passion for His ways.. and for those that need Him.. [aka everybody la..]

wow.. this post has certainly come out longer than intended.. haa.. verbal diarrhoea i guess.. hahaha pun intended. alrights.. back to my experiment fashioning.. with luck i could be done by tonite.. yay!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/10/2005 03:54:00 PM .

okay.. looks like i'm not heading to school after all.. tummy pain.. dun tink i can tahan standing OR sitting for that matter all the way to school.. sigh...

guess its jus rest and research paper for me today den..

many thanks to erjie who helped me vet thru a very confusing paragraph.. haaa hope she does super duperly well for her oral exam.. iknow she's gonna do well.. cuz she's been using it so often.. hahaha not like me n my spanish... oh donde es espanol?

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/09/2005 12:26:00 PM .

constipated.

so long never have constipation le.. and today jus so happens to be my lucky day.. but i guess i asked for it la.. keep on eating things like nuts and pomelo.. haha all constipation inducing materials.. heh! =)

anyways.. finally got a start on my research paper.. outlining it with my motive and thesis.. hopefully they're not too long.. i realize i write awfully long motives and theses.. must be a carry-over from my previous research paper.. heh! but hmm.. if i think mine's long.. (mine was 17 pages) my fren's one was the winner la.. she wrote a grand total of like 24 pages! with 1.5 inch margin and font size 11.. my goodness!! tt's like so incredible la.. we were jus commentingo ver lunch that day that we can all publish books alr at the rate we're all writing and its kinda true.. think abt all the essay u're gonna write thru out ur entire uni life.. u can bind all ur major-related papers and make into a journal le.. and if u got super good grades with em.. u can even publish it as a legitimate source!! wow! so cool eh? i tink i sub-consciously aspire to do that .. prob explains why i keep all my good papers.. hahaha but den again.. maybe its jus pride.. -grins-

last nite marcus rang me up.. hahaha i was a tad sarcastic wif him la.. but okay.. i repent.. he was jus being him.. and well.. jus so happened that he called me when i'm doing my research paper and in the midst of thinking.. guess tt's wad u get wif a tired mind who has the potential to commit verbal arson upon irritation. woah.. tt sounded chim..

speaking of chim.. my mum commented that i used chim words on her.. hmm.. told her that i must come from writing too many research papers and exam answers.. heh!

swwiiiiiiimiiiiiing... it was good.. felt so nice and relaxed after that.. exercise does wonders.. and of course there was this hunk swimmin in the lane beside me.. woohoo! but somehow i keep thinking of the ndu guys when i see pp like em bia-ing and swimming so powderfully.. hahah makes me wonder abt how dage is like at swimming.. and the time when me n xm were at downtown east and dage was walking so fast in the water.. when me n xm (or rather me) kept falling over in the water.. hahahaha! those were the days.... remember when i opened the curtains and both xm n dage jus collapsed on the mattress... hahahaha!

oh well..heading to school.. hmm.. soon? cuz i wanna go there and be productive.. since i'll be meeting dr barbara at 3.30..

la la la.. hope i can finish everything on time...

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/09/2005 10:26:00 AM .

its a darn good day to be out swimming.. but what am i doing? holed up in my room with my lil laptop trying to figure out the evolutionary lineage of a meerkat.. gaaaargh!

feeling so sian now.. dun feel like doing anything also.. whichi s what is tearing me up man.. maybe i shld jus go swimming and den head down to the library to do my work or jus make myself happy wif pictures of furry meerkats.

yes.. tt's what i'll do.. too bad i can't bring my lappie along..

darn.

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/08/2005 02:18:00 PM .

i feel a huuuuuge load slip off me.. aaahh.. =) today alone i submitted 3 pieces of work.. heh! so cool.. submitted my islam research paper only to realize on passing it to my lecturer that i forgot to put a title! haha ar well.. he'll know soon enough anyway cuz i tink i'm the only one doing that topic and i hit home the pt pretty quickly.. thank God for that.. and submitted my take home exam essay to dr don.. who was so nice abt it.. when i handed up my test paper he actually commented that i wrote a good essay! haa.. dunno whether he says this to everybody but it did get my spirits up cuz i was worrying abt whether i actually got the right ideas in the essay. and yeah.. last but not least did the exam paper. heh.. hope i do well.. got quite a few i didn't really know but dr don was true to his word.. he really really kept it super simple... tink only the front part was tough.. tricky la.. but i guess he needed to do that in order to see if we really understood the entire course.. so was good..

ahhh.. i feel so so so much lighter now.. was actually smiling as i stepped off the train and walked on with my mp3 plugged in. shiok!

now to get on with my biosemiotics research paper.. ha.. i tink i'll enjoy doing it since i've got no other assignment aside from this.. so if anything its like a focussed effort.. plus its on meerkats!! haha cute lil things.. not so cute on behaviour tho.. heh!

gonna try and see if i can get the outline up by tonite so i can get it done asap.. heh! got quite a happening week i tink.. tmr no school.. yay.. but wed i'm heading down for a talk wif my advisor on my advanced modules.. so prob will go school earlier to do some studying or work.. thu is last day of class for islam and biosemiotics.

i tink i'll miss biosemiotics.. i'll miss being in dr don's class and being wif my class pp.. i tink they're super nice pp.. love em.. its like everybody there's so connected and we're all together with dr don on this learning spree lo.. it'll prob be the one class where i'm really learning something all the time i'm there.. i love his class.. in fact i'm even at the pt where i'm jus connecting every single thing i experience with biosemiotics.. heh!

like there's this book which i jus bought at the mph sale ytd.. which is jus screaming biosemiotics! called 'the curious incident of the dog in the mid-night'. great book..will lend to those who wanna read.. its abt this autistic boy who can't read or understand pp like how we would.. really a look into his mind... very interesting how he logicizes.. =) oh.. also bought memoirs of a geisha ytd.. yippeee! got two good books to settle down wif for the vacation.. yeaaaaaaaaaah...

oh.. my mum was asking if me and sis wanna go on a china tour wif her.. and well. i'm undecided cuz dance camp lies within those days.. but actually i'm willing to give it up for some travels out of sg la.. it'll be an experience since we'll be touring quite a number of places.. but wad makes me feel less enthusiastic is prob cuz it is on the same days that east timor would take up if i were going.. and it kinda makes me feel sad that i'm not going.. =( cuz i really want to.. but ya.. my parents don't allow cuz they think its not safe and all tt.. i understand.. i really do.. which is why i'm not making as big a fuss as i usually would.. i mean.. i'm uncomfortable making a fuss cuz i know the very reasons why they aren't allowing me.. so yeah.. weird feeling of being in the middle.. poised on the edge of understanding and bulldozing.. heh...

ar well....

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/07/2005 08:21:00 PM .

la la la.. tv is boring.. and this is bad.. i tink i'm turning into some tv junkie.. nOOoOooo.. but oh well at least i hv my malory towers to read.. i abosolutely love that book.. it really makes me feel like i wanna go to boardign school and have desks where i can keep my books etc etc.. haa.. i tink not many pp know but i've always wanted to hv that kinda school where i can hv a locker.. have my own lil space in class and attend classes wif the pp that i live with. i tink its so fun lo.. and to read abt the stuff they do.. the sports classes they attend.. i jus feel like i wanna be a part of that.. =)

i remember i also like how the american cartoons portrayed classes too.. i mean it looked so fun.. wif all of em dressing up and bringing their books to class.. moving around.. i love it! maybe tt's why i like uni so much cuz i can do all those things.. haaa!

alright.. bottom line is.. i prob jus love school la.. i like learning and doing stuff.. school is fun! of course it'd be real nice if school could be like wad it is in malory towers or archie.. haa.. tt'll be way too cool.. but den again i am living out the uni life.. so well.. i guess i jus hv to check myself into a hostel and den i'd prob get the whole package.. heh! not too sure if i can handle it tho.. cuz i'd prob hv to learn to fend for myself.. aka got no more papa and mummy and jie jie to cry to le.. haa

anyways.. i feel like eating my guilinggao later.. shall reward myself wif that after all the thinking i've been doing.. think i'm working my brain out big time cuz i'm getting so much more dreams and i've sleeping more too.. hmm.. good or bad?

now printing another set of research material for my biosemiotics essay.. hopefully it'll help me get somewhere.. feeling kinda stranded wif tt..

EXAM on MONDAY!!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/03/2005 02:56:00 PM .

sian.. hahah the days have been freaking hot... i hv never looked forward to bath time as much as these days.. hahahah =)

finished my take home assignment.. and i know i shld review it and at least have a look at how coherent n cogent it is.. but.. i jus feel sian la.. dun wanna look at anything now.. except my msn screens and this screen of cuz.. heh!

anyway i feel like i'm in semi hol mood le.. hahhah its like hol but yet not hols.. such an irritating feeling.. and i almost forgot.. i hv to work on my research paper! hahah whoops! now how did i forget that?

sorry this is turning out into a boring post.. jus needed to get some words out.. la la la la

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/02/2005 02:54:00 PM .

ohmygosh! this is so true.. !

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

courtesy of Zhisheng's blog.. haa.. got the quiz from this webbie http://quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/02/2005 02:30:00 PM .