Love, or Pride?

alright i hv to speed type this now cuz my laptop battery is like running out soon. but i really wanna blog abt this before i forget. hahaha

anyways today's e first day after like 2 long weeks tt i'm back in dance. hehe! well actually dance blast la.. cuz last nite i jus danced with daphne for our musical stuff.. woo hoo! super nice lo.. =)

and it felt good to dance. i love dance. but today a bit e stress lo cuz pat jus wants us to work our asses off la and not be complacent cuz of some newcomers who were there for auditions too. think he wanted to make sure we don't slack off i guess and he was making silly remarks like doing push ups and sit ups.. haa.. and den he said something like picking out the weaker ones and competing em with the newcomers. my goodness.. that jus made everybody freak out la.. and i tink everbody jus subconsciously did better. hahaha.. anyways.. it was a good dance session. i tink i'm getting better at dance le.. like i can pick up steps faster now.. so that's a good thing.. hopefully eveyrthing works out together eh? hahahaha =)

dance dance dance!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/25/2006 08:04:00 PM .

i am an emotional rollercoaster these days.. i can be superbly happy and cry-my-eyes-out sad the very next. well.. call it pms.. but i think pms is good cuz it brings out the things that you never feel like confronting on ur normal days. all ur feelings regarding that particular thing jus come bursting out of u during pms. so yes.. i am pms-ing.. and i'm glad for it. hahaha

nite out on sat was awesome.. spent it with the bestest pp ever.. erjie, mark n qx/josh. i jus like calling him qx.. cuz tt's wad i've been calling him all these years. tho interestingly, he calls me karina. -shrugs- beats me!

mum sounded strict on the phone that nite.. but honestly.. things were a whole different matter when i got home.. she was NORMAL.. hahah tt's jus so interesting.. we were like chatting and joking in the next half an hr i was back home. hahha and well.. it was nice.. i'm glad my mum's so understanding.. she's even agreed to let me go clubbing with the guys this coming friday.. something that i hv to find out a way to tell my dad soon. hahaha and of cuz i'm not going to drink.. cuz i dun like to.. and i jus wanna go there and see wad clubbing is like la.. =) heh..

another interesting thing was.. i COULDN'T sleep! okay.. more annoying than interesting la.. but i tink it was the caffeine la.. n plus i had a lot of thots in my head. heh heh.. which only my sis and my other blog will know.. ;)

the real interesting thing was.. cuz i couldn't sleep.. i decided to head online and guess who i saw? mark and qx! my goodness.. and we jus chatted.. e three of us.. and mark commented that we macam so deprived like tt.. jus separated den now must meet online.. hahahah to me that was jus plain amusing la.. didn't expect em to be online lo.. hahah i thot i was the only crazy one awake at the unholy hr... 4am lo!

but yeah.. as a result of my thots and my lack of sleep.. i headed to church a lil stoned.. not the best of states.. but i was jus stoned to the pp arn me.. inside tho.. i was talking and yakking to God like mad! hahaha if there's anything else i like doing.. its talking to God. awesome! =)

and well.. after having a lil emotional scene in gary's van.. and in swensons with sister.. (will explain some other time) i was fine.. starting talking to my sis abt stuff and well.. let's jus say that i'm in love with God all over again.. heh heh.. itsr eally amazing what situations do to ya.. they jus draw u closer to God when u seek Him amidst ur situation. He miraculously provides u the strength and grace that you need.

speaking of miracles. God did something amazing ytd too! cuz i decided to give all my $$ in the offering ytd.. i didn't hv the money to eat lunch. and God really provided lunch for me. prob more than i ever would have eaten if i had money of my own. first was samantha with her pineapple tarts. den was the coffee corner with -miracle of miracles- sandwiches n you tiao!(usually they'd be devoured by the time i get there) guess God really hears and sees. and after that i thot that'd be my lunch alr. note.. i kept telling myself 'well that's that for lunch then' but nooo.. i jus kept getting food! after that i headed down and realized there was a meeting and sis chin ching(the leader) passed arn some snack.. like nuts and she gave me a sweet.. so there's another food item for ya.. but wad was most most amazing was that simon jus blessed me with crepe! and i'm like.. woaaaah... this is so cool! i've never had something like that happen to me.. God is so good!

and well.. side story but heh.. another thing that hasn't happend to me at all was tt.. i got my first ever nose bleed ytd! hahaha i tink i'm jus heaty la.. hahaha must take care of myself le.. =) bwee hee hee..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/23/2006 03:19:00 PM .

wad a relaxing day.. i'm now jus blogging at my own pace.. not rushing for anything in the world.. and sipping my nice cold packet of vitasoy! =) yum.. i love vitasoy.. prob my most fav soya bean drink in the world.. heh heh..

anyways.. i've decided.. i'm gonna take things slowly this week.. or at least attempt to. i tink i'm burning myself out.. so here's to pacing myself and making sure i'm well taken care of. hahaha.. today i'm not gonna attempt to do any work unless i feel like i want to.. and well.. i'm jus gonna ease off a bit. tink i pushed myself too much le the first few days of the week. haha freaked myself out over some readings and i jus wanna thank God for getting me thru..

the past few days have been awesome.. =) spent my lunch times talking to my elang mates.. they're such awesome pp.. and i jus lvoe it when i meet new frens or are able to hv such nice engaging talks with em.. xuan, cheryl n rion u guys know who u are... i'm so glad to have been able to be int he same group as u guys last sem! cuz its like.. now i really really have frens from my major.. hahah if not.. all my frens are seriously different major one lo.. hahahah =) anyways.. the past few lunches out hv been all abt bgr stuff lo..and i wonder.. is it some kinda overload?? hahahaha cuz seriously man.. if i'm not out wif the swaps pp, its me n xuan having some deep conversation abt guys and relationships.. not that i mind tho. methinks its healthy if we get such things discussed.. very interesting topic indeed.. and well if i'm out wif erjie, kyle n chee lay we of cuz get to the topic of furby and bigeyes.. heh heh.. ar well.. everyone's getting in the mood for luuuurve.. esp since vday is hmm.. jogging round the corner? hahaha wonder how this yr's will be like? i'm so tempted to buy roses for all my close gal frens.. i tink they really deserve to feel special on top of being the special people that they really are.. heh heh.. yes.. i shall save up my money and do that.. -gives determined look-

later going out for my sis's graduation ceremony. this marks my 3rd week missing youth service..hahah pp will tink i've backslided or something man.. if not for the fact that i've told gary that i'm not coming le. heh heh.. =) so yeah.. anyway.. looking forward to her graduation stuff.. cuz can dress up!!! haa.. so bimbotic ya? but no la.. tt's not the only reason.. its cuz.. its really been such an accomplishment for our family.. to see my jie grad. with honours somemore wor.. truly proud of her.. she's our first graduate on the kwan side! =) woohooo! but den again.. there're only the 2 of us la.. so i'll prob jus hv to follow in her footsteps den.. wahhaahha.. todays' gonna be an awesoe day nevertheless.. wheeee!!

later might be meeting mark n qx. so well.. see how.. they're meeting really late.. so i dunno if i wnana hang arn till den? or i could meet pp at 5 till i meet em at 8? but like tt so bad lo.. like macam make use of pp to come down and meet me.. bleah bleah.. BAD me... hmm.. so how ar? maybe i shld jus retire and drink coffee for three hrs and mug.. haa.. but den.. i wear so nice..go and mug.. hhahahaha quite an odd pic eh?

oh oh oh... gonna hv a hooked article coming out again.. heh heh.. on cny goodies.. im jus surprised i got it out so soon.. took me like.. less than an hr i tink.. heh heh.. =) whee.. but anywys.. its jus one of those no-brainers la.. so it was fun writing it.. heh heh.. tho that person really really gives me a lot of last min stuff to do.. so was quite pissed wth her la.. ok.. well maybe pissed is too strong a word.. let's jus say.. mildly ticked den.. arhahahah

tmr another packed day.. i wonder man.. how DO i get such packed days? hahaha =) saaaad...

morning: 915 - net group
1030 - service
12 - after service briefing for musical
in between times - deco for youth in construction wall
230 - youth planning meeting
6 - evening service.. but i'll prob head home.. heh.. see how ba.. =)

i'm jus glad that friday is gonna be a free day for me the coming week.. somehow both my lecturers decided that they couldn't hv class tt day.. so whee for me! =) thinking of going back to damai to hv a look.. oh.. which reminds me.. the other day i saw this gal at my staircase down there.. and she was crying. actually my dad alerted me to her cuz he saw her on his way up and he jus thot that she needed someone to go talk to her.. see my daddy so nice.. and well.. so i went.. this gal was wearing the damai uniform so immediately man.. i jus connected with her cuz damai is jus so close to my heart. and to see her crying.. well.. u can't help but sympathise with that. and so i asked her why she was crying and i'm really surprised that she was so open with me. apparently, she wanted to get into kc. .but her appeal fell thru.. and mind u.. she's already been thru 1 week of school at damai alr.. done the orientation and all tt.. so she was jus really crushed and perhaps feeling trapped that she has to stay in a neighbourhood school? guess she really wanted kc .. somehow affiliated wor.. from her primary school. and that day when i saw her was the last day she could see the kc principal abt her appeal. so i told her lo.. why not she call her parents.. and i'll walk her to the bus stop or something .. cuz it really wasn't safe for her to stand there and cry la.. my place a bit the dark dark one.. and den she said that the teachers would be at the bus stop. whichi almost forgot.. the fears u have as a student.. hahah tt ur teachers would be arn every corner.. whahah.. but anyway.. real fears la.. =) so i jus got her to call her parents ba.. which she did and i jus left her lo.. cuz i thot that she'd be able to handle tt ba.. and plus i had to get to school.

intereting experience eh? but honestly when i saw her ..m y heart jus went out to her la.. its like.. i totally get the feeling of being trapped in ur decisions and all tt with no where to go.. its a terrible feeling.. like ur world's closing on u in some sense. and it jus made me wonder.. shld i be a teacher? no doubt i've been telling pp that teaching jus isn't for me.. cuz of the fact that i hv to face kids all day.. but den.. i really do think youth are worth working with.. so hmmm.. i'm back again at the age-old question of.. what do i want to be when i grow up? hahahah cept this time its diff.. its wad does God want me to be when i grow up? =) so yeah.. giving this to you again Lord... love ya!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/21/2006 10:23:00 AM .

wad a slacker i am.. i can't even be bothered to print my tutorial slides.. hahah maybe its jus cuz i can't be bothered to carry the lappie esp when its low on batt with its wires and all to my sis's room to where the printer is.. so here we go.. tmr's gonna be another printing day.. during my lunch break.

but honestly.. i'm slacking.. today's prob e most slack day of my week.. like i didnt' even do any readigns today.. thank God i managed to finish my pile of readings before they're due.. and honestly i do wanna start on the new ones.. but i jus feel so.. argh.. slack. like i jus wanna lie down and eat my pineapple tarts.. [my mum got those!!] but this means something else.. FAT!!!

ar well.. u win some, u lose some eh?

tho i dun see how it all works out. hahhaha but anyways.. feeling kinda sian all e same.. nothing much on tv.. vegged out by the telly jus now watching american idol and ch8 later on... tho i decided to be hardworking and check out ivle halfway during the show.

was jus commenting to a fren today.. ever realize that ur life revolves arn this thing we call ivle? its like.. when term is in full swing.. u jus check the webbie obsessively.. and den when school breaks for hols.. u find that u hv nothing to do when u're online? if u feel that way.. that sense of 'loss' during holidays.. u have been successfully conditioned to check ivle EVERYDAY! which is soooo sad la... hahahah

gonna be another busy weekend.. sigh... =) and i tink i might not be able to make it to shaun's church this sun cuz i gotta be at mine straight after service to give e musical briefing tho i hv absolutely no idea right now what i'm gona say.. honest! i tink i'll take like a super short time to brief em and let em know what's coming up.. hahahaha

let me be random: i like all my group mates.. i like e pp i'm working with this semester. yes.. this is turning out to be an awesome semester. and interestingly.. i realize pp have matured. like grown in a way.. some how.. hahaha its like we're all jus filled with the experience.. lacking that fresh wide eyed awe at school now. hmm.. or is this jus me? =)

i shld be reading my readings.. but this reading i'm doing.. on species and taxonomy is not really making sense to me.. too much jargon.. so oh well. here i go again!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/19/2006 10:27:00 PM .

no title for today cuz there's nothing that overwhelmingly struck me. well.. actually there are things that struck me.. but i jus forget all of em once i start typing.. and as a result i sound like .. well.. a bimbo for most part of my blog. hahaah! =)

i realize that i think better in the day. aka i can read my readings and absorb em better if they're done in the morning. ideas are more readily formulated then too.. cuz i realize my thots come to be more coherently when ride to school which more often than not.. are the mornings. nite moments are for vegging out by the tv and of cuz.. furiously typing away at the lappie over last min papers.. hahaha!

realize i haven blog abt sat and sun.. well.. packed weekends. but den again.. when are my weekends not packeD? tho this is a first for me.. to be so involved in stuff once semester has started.. i hope this doesn't turn out into a distressing trend. hahah!

sat was fun! packed but fun.. yes.. morning went blading with qx and he was LATE! hahah thank God i was with my dad and so i had a good ol time chatting with my pa.. and jus talking nonsense.. i realize now where i get my nonsense frm.. HIM! hahahaha but anyways.. first time qx meets dad.. and he's late.. ar well.. too bad for him. and for those who dunno this person that i speak of.. he is a FREN! okaay.. =) [i realize that pp tend to mistake these mysterious guys in my life for the special One.. hahah haven found him yet okay? if i do.. don't worry.. his full name will appear on this blog.. heh heh]

after blading it was rush rush back home to get changed for chee lay's party and but first to net. when everybody jus asked me where the heck was i goin gin my sister's strappy dress.. heh! quite eye-catching i jus realized.. heh.. had an interesting encounter on the way to the mrt station tho after net grp. heh heh..

and den met justina, xiao yan n erjie at their respective stations.. simei and eunos.. heh heh.. everyone looked real nice. guess us gurls jus need a reason to dress up ya? and all the beauty jus shines thru. heh heh.. and zip zip zoom we went to city hall to pic kup chee lay's flowers! SO NICE! i love em.. i love flowers!! everytime i see em always reminds me of jc.. hahaha

so den it was the party and i got back SO late waking up on sun wsa such a prob la.. hahaha had to get up at 8 for a meeting at 9 in church. and yes..t t's my fault la... i set the meeting time.. and now i had to eat my words la.. bleah!! anyways.. was a good fruitful dya.. =) went out with net [entire net was there! so cool lo! u could jus feel the synergy] for this farewell lunch for sharon.. and i tell u.. my net members are so good for me.. esp the twins.. they were like telling me not to freak out and to jus breathe cuz sharon's farewell gift hadn't been done.. good pp those two are.. =)

den we jus hung loose and played really disgusting food games. well.. actually it was jus ONE disgusting food item.. on the plate.. bleaaah.. and den we jus played games lo.. SoooOO fun! we jus screamed and yelled and laughed like nobody's business.. i bet it was the first time in our history tog as a net that we bonded and jus played as we were. without the awkwardness and shyness.. jus being ourselves.. hahahah so cool! really thank God for that time of fellowship.. really hope this brings all of us together.

after lunch headed back to church for kids blast! haha and it was fun.. we did the service diff from how we usually runned it.. =) instead of worship first.. we did a skit and the kids were excellent with that! and den i gave out 'gospills' - mentos with every Bible verse recited. to illustrate the point that when u're sick.. what u really need is God's word to heal you cuz He's said it lik ea million times in the Bible that He WILL heal you! =)

funny thing was after we were done.. they were jus crying out for worhsip lo! hahah first time! and the guys wanted games of cuz.. so we jus played games first and den we did worship.. both were jus simply awesome.. =) den est resumed the lesson and i tink the kids somehow really enjoyed emselves that nite. after everything they actually SELF-Organized themselves to play this game that they did last week. called crocodile. hahaha interesting to see how they rise up and become leaders all of a sudden. taking charge and making sure that nobody plays cheat and that everyboyd was fair. hahahah i was soooo proud of em.. somehow.. that they really had it in em to be responsible and get their teams together.. it felt good to see em that way.. hahaha =) some semblance of 'normal' behaviour maybe? hahaha

and speaking of normal behaviour.. this reminds me of dr madalena's article that she posted online.. hahaha abt childhood as a disease! hahaha its hilarious! alrights.. enuff abt me.. shall leave now to do my downloding and eventually work.. hahaha seldom home so early.. better make use of hte time wor.. heh heh.. =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/18/2006 03:19:00 PM .

met with becky today.. and i must say.. it was PHENOMENAL! it was like God was there every second!alright.. to be honest.. i thot i was gonna go there to kinda get some pep talk.. cuz somehow even tho i told her that i could make it for meeting next sat which now i've alr told her i can't.. she still wanted to meet me and that was wen i started to think.. 'uh oh' did i do something wrong? cuz i know that i haven't exactly been the angel arn here. i know my slip ups when i say the wrong things to the kids when i talk casually with em. i mean.. i jus felt wrong. but boy was i wrong! becky talked abt none of the things that i was worried abt.. and i shld've known really.. she's jus too awesomely nice and tuned into God to do something horribly hurtful like that. guess i was jus givng myself a reality and pride check.

turns out that she had these awesome ideas on how to revamp the CW and KB systems and i'm jus so so so honoured and so privileged that she shared em with me whilst i was there. and to see her niece and nephew pics too! they're SO adorable!! i can't believe they're back in ireland.. awww...wad's amazing is that.. becky has asked if i would be able to do the Arts side of things in some sense. cuz for CW she intending for the 2nd n 4th weeks to be worship after their kids' cells [tho we both agreed that the name's gotta be changed] and for KB she was thinking of having stuff workshop style after abt 40 mins of lesson so that the kids would be equipped for things like outreach etc. and the stuff involved things like drama, dance, puppetry, human video etc. and i tink that's jus so cool! and the more she talked abt the more i realized that God's been steering me in this direction all this time!

alright.. let me rewind to sunday cuz it was the most recent incident. i was jus praying and asking that God would give me a renewed passion for the kids cuz at this point i've jus really been thinking a lot abt leaving the ministry or well.. at least the leader-ish part of it cuz i realized that my primary ministry was really with the youth. and that day i was supposed to lead worship and it was miserable. raining.. plus i didn't get enough sleep the nite before cuz i didn't want to.. cuz i chose to ignore the fact that i had duty the next day. now that i'm not too proud of. i literally shoved my ministry to God off the racks and propped my feet up to kick back and relax when i shld've at least been resting so i could give my best to God. but God showed up anyways.. and that's jus how faithful and merciful and gracious and awesome He is. that even when i was unfaithful.. He was Faith-Full.

of cuz it didn't help that i got my arm jammed on the car window as it was whirring up shut.. and yeah..i hv a bruise there now. but then it hit me that i shld thank God IN all situations. and so i did. i jus gave my whatever to Him and told Him that i wanted to worship Him. and it was so awesome. i felt my 'burden' lighten almost imm and i jus smiled and i believe the Holy Spirit was right there inside of me keeping me calm when things didn't work out.. giving me the Joy of serving the Lord in that manner regardless of what happened. and i remember telling God that i wanted to worship and to jus let Him shine thru no matter wad.

and guess wad? everybody's been telling me and esther eversince.. that worship was so awesome. and its ALL GOD'S GLORY!! woohooo! i mean.. at first me and her didn't notice a thing and in fact it only hit me today that God really showed up in that place on sunday esp when sis susan comisky came up to me and told me 'great worship on sunday' and i was jus stunned..

hahahah apparently Becky took some pics of me and the team. she calls em 'beautiful pictures of u' and i feel so happy.. so .. glad that she would think of me this way. she's really such an awesome leader. the greatest compliment that she could ever give me was when she told me today.. that i was really up there worshipping and it showed on my face. that i wasn't there for myself, that i was teachable. and to me.. that was jus.. WOAH.. mind blowing! cuz for somebody to say that abt me when i'm always thinking that i'm such a stuck up pris with all the pride in the world.. it jus showed me that God's really doing something awesome in my heart and its making me go all the more for Him.. that i wanna change my life arn for His glory! wooo!

and tt's what she said when she told me that she wanted me to be one of the key persons in starting up the worship and arts stuff for the kids. and here's where the interesting part is. i remember pretty clearly on sunday that as i was standing on stage.. or rather.. somewhere on stage.. i thot to myself that i felt more inclined to doing the arts like leading worship or dancing or drama.. more than teaching. and i felt rather down cuz of that. cuz i was in CM and if u're in CM but u don't hv the heart to teach kids.. den.. wad are u there for? so i was jus really feeling it big time .. no passion for kids.. no passion for teaching. oh man.. i jus wanted to quit.

but one thing that struck me was that i enjoyed dancing arn and worshipping God and leading the kids into it.. tho at that time those thots weren't so coherent. and Becky jus said everything that came to my mind that day. it all jus clicked. so today's when i met up with her and left her office.. i was jus so awed by how eveyrthing had turned out. becky told me to go back and pray over this for the next few weeks cuz she was aware that i was involved in youth as well. and tho i tink the arrangements sound good.. i guess maybe i really shld let God do the arranging in my life and how He wants it to unfold. so Daddy.. here's another one for u! =) i'm glad that U're more than able to handle it! and u know what when i walked out... i jus felt so light.. its like i knew that God would handle my studies and everything else that came with it. so its jus a real relief right now..

becky's jus awesome. and she also told me that i had a prophetic calling and she prayed for me after everything.. so yeah.. everything's good.. i feel almost as if i'm like catapulted to an all time high. and i know eveyrthing's for real. wooo!

another thing that made me tear was how i got saved.. somehow that personal story jus hit me inside.. and i realize again.. how far God has really brought me and my sis in our walk with Him. and not once.. not once has He ever failed to show up. it jus goes to tell that He truly is the same. yesterday.. today and forever.

i love You Jesus!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/12/2006 08:22:00 PM .

oh wow! wad a neat make over.. and to think i just used blogger this afternoon in school when it was still the old normal layout when u sign in etc etc. and now its like so funky! well.. not really funky..but jus different in an interesting way.. and now u have ur BIG name plastered on the page like u're the most impt person in the world. heh heh.. how's that for narcissism? haa -winks at xuan-

feeling hardworking! i came home super duper early today! its really been such a long time since i did that.. been whiling away at school and wasting my time way too much in the past and last sem's timetable didn't help la.. everyday ended at 6. this sem at least.. i end at 12 on most days.. still hv my 6pm days tho.. when tutorials and dances kick in once more.

hmm.. i jus realized that the hardworking bit didn't really fit in with the entire context that i jus described up there. but anyways.. i feel hardworking cuz i actually came home to do READINGS! can u imagine that? mugger karina is at it again! and thing is.. i really jus wanna study and get more knowledge abt stuff.. its really the learning now.. woohoo.. love school!

met chelsea n xinyi n grace somehow all one after another [oh.. okay xinyi n grace were tog] after class.. and it was nice to bump into all of em and talk again.. cuz i had them in biosem last semester and it was jus awesome! i never knew they were such nice pp to yak with! hahahaha its like i could jus go on and on with em.. this sem is really turning out nice.. heh!

only thing is.. everybody keeps asking me abt sep.. n honestly i thot i didn't stand a chance at sep cuz i got my first C already. but chelsea tells me tt as long as ur cap is above 3.0 u can go! and now i'm considering.. but OHH!! the paper work! grace jus told me some horror story abt the admin.. so well.. yeah.. sep sounds freaky.. but den again.. no $$ la.. i really dun tink my parents could afford.. unless i get a scholarship.. which means i hv to be really excellent! hahaha.. another thing would be our ISMs lo.. need to start planning le.. otherwise i'll really be stranded.. thinking of doing a JRR Tolkien kinda language analysis... hahah i tink that'll be fun!! shall get prof peter tan to do with me.. wahahah

and the article still doesn't hv my name.. heh.. no doubt the 'misunderstanding' if there ever was one.. has been cleared. but it feels so nice to see pp reading ur article and commenting so positively on it.. thank God really.. that all the articles i've put up have received pretty good reviews.. phew! haven kena slammed for my writing yet.. and i know that its really God that's given me that favour and the ability.. -hugs-

alright.. mugger mode back on.. shall go do today's reading for lang, soc n identity... my lecturer's article lo!! hahahah we were like saying 'no wonder he can print so many copies for us to read!'

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/11/2006 07:04:00 PM .

You scored as Dance. You should be a Dance major! Like a lithe ballerina, you dance because you believe there is beauty in expressing the physical form.

Dance

100%

Linguistics

92%

Sociology

83%

English

83%

Journalism

75%

Biology

67%

Anthropology

58%

Philosophy

58%

Theater

50%

Psychology

42%

Engineering

42%

Mathematics

42%

Art

42%

Chemistry

17%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/11/2006 01:08:00 PM .

turns out i need not worry abt e issue anymore.. malini called me up personally and apologised for the mix up.. wow! she IS a nice person.. thank God!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/10/2006 11:09:00 PM .

hmm.. i jus received the link for the latest edition of hooked. and i actually wrote an article in there.. only thing is.. the name's not mine! its the person that asked me to write the article. now i'm faced with this sticky situation... should i tell her that it shld be my name that's on the article? or shld i jus let it fly?

now.. this girl is pretty nice actually.. or rather.. when i met her and talked with her. so i dunno if this is jus a mistake or something since there's a higher editor.. janice doing the uploading too. so maybe jan thot that it was malini (that's her) that did the writing instead of me. sooo..i really dunno if i shld bring this up. i mean.. if i bring it up.. am i jus being really sticky abt e issue? how am i supposed to do this? like.. 'erm.. excuse me.. i tink u got the wrong name up there? i wrote the article..' like huh??? won't i come across as being demanding and fussy over the issue.

yes.. i know its my right to claim ownership over that article.. but... am i jsut being too uptight over this matter? or am i being a pushover? hmmm... any advice pp? certainly need it.. =) cuz i tink i did write a good article.. considering that pp are responding to it.. thank God for that.. but yeah.. how shld i respond?

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/10/2006 09:01:00 PM .

alright.. i've decided to make this really simple and friendly for all the readers.. thank u so much for coming by and faithfully reading it.. it really means so much to me.. =) but yes.. i think reverting back to the old skin makes reading less of an eye sore since my previous skins(i'm a snake!!) reduced the word size so that everybody who's been reading has probably increased their visual degree by a few magnitudes alr la.. hahahaha!! oops.. but anyways.. thank u for being patient with it and still bothering to read it even tho it was like that.. heh heh!

today was awesome la! we had joyce's farewell lunch and den afterward the easter musical meeting.. really hope i handled it well.. cuz i have this irritating knack of being really hard and domineering and jus being NOT tactful.. which i really hate! cuz i do wanna be nice and approachable and jus be a good facilitator of discussions.. i feel like paul sometimes.. as he said in e Bible.. that "i do what i don't wanna do even though i don't wanna do it" ya.. its a whole convoluted sentence.. but it really makes sense when u go thru it properly.. but yeaah.. ir eally thank God for the team that we have today and even those that weren't with us.. i tink God's really put us together for a purpose.. and we really made a lot of progress with the scripts and plots and ideas lo.. its jus gonna be so awesome! and i'm so excited that things are gonna work out and that pp WILL be touched by the musical.. woohoo!

there's hot chick later!! woohoo.. my bimbo tutorial is back!! hahahahaha.. wheeeeeeeee

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/10/2006 06:54:00 PM .

aaahhh.. this feels so good.. i've finally cleaned out all my old notes and stuff so yay! i'm reaady for the new term and ready to start stuffing the folders with readings and project notes and stuff and stuff and stuff! wahhahahaha

only thing is.. now i can't find my KB teaching notes! argh! which means i shall hv to go and photocopy em from esther now.. hahaha after helping her photocopy new ones.. =P silly me..

new blog skin too! still trying to work out how to fit in calendar and stats and wad not there la.. =) so anybody got good stuff to intro... intro k? cuz i dunno where to find all those fun stuff.. heh!

but yaaaay.. its a new new yr! had a good time wif the blast pp ytd or blastards as they like to call emselves.. hahah went to marche after class.. almost didn't want to go cuz was feeling anti-social and ya.. sometimes i feel i dun belong there.. but den.. really thank God.. somehow i managed to find some really cool frens there.. i mean.. at least there's a semblance of a frenship beginning there.. so yeah.. i'm really glad i went.. =) hopefully i'll be able to make some good frenships in blast!

got all my modules.. doing biodiversity and conservation biology, evolution, child language, media discourse n society, language identity and society. ta da!! my modules for this sem.. and the best part is.. when tutorial bidding comes round.. i dun need to bid for tuts AT ALL! wow! cuz all my core mods are seminar and my usp ones are packaged alr.. which means i get both my tut and lect at the same time.. so woohoo! i'm freeeeee and i hv a complete timetalbe now at least.. yay!

okay... lunch time!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/05/2006 12:51:00 PM .

u know wad? God is so good.. He's so wise and caring and loving.. i was jus wondering and beginning to doubt God's ultimate plan for salvation and forgiveness [like how could i ever do that right?] and well.. jus thinking abt His forgiveness and Sin as i was reading this particular passage in the book of Hebrews where they talk abt us "deliberately... sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth" and because of that, not having a "sacrifice for sins... left" (Hebrews 10:26)

and that made me reflect on my actions.. like in some instances i know that i have chosen the wrong path at times, choosing to turn my back on my Saviour cuz of this "I wanna do what I wanna do" attitude. so reading this verse really gave me the jitters. like how do i know that God will forgive me den? how will i know if i still have the entitlement to Jesus' sacrifice for sins?

but then jus at the moment when i thot abt such things.. i was reminded of the time when Jesus told His disciples to forgive pp like a whole lot of times la.. in the article it mentioned.. 490 times! and i was also reminded of the verse where if we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive us of em. so that's kinda cool eh? but there's a second part to my perplexity.

as i read on down the particular passage.. it actually says that this situation of run-out salvation is applicable for the man "who has trampled the Son of God under foot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace"(v29). now that probably includes all of us cuz Jesus became our curse and our sin for us when He hung on the Cross. when He was taking all the beating on our behalf, we were the ones whipping and kicking Him, mocking Him for telling the truth abt His identity.

now this is where it gets interesting.. like some law thingie..i think the Bible is awesome in that you can somehow find a way where God allows His grace to shine thru. because at this moment, there is not a clause that precludes those who repent and turn arnd from their behaviour and their attitudes. so this means that while we shld deserve death n separation n have our salvation run out on us cuz of our rejection and our sin, we don't get it IF we repent and turn our minds arn towards Christ.

so instead of a conflict between the subjects of repentance, salvation, forgiveness and the cold hard law that makes us guilty immediately. there is instead a complementing of entities that allows us to receive God's acceptance time and again everytime we come to Him, if only we would jus do that.

i tink its really cool that the Bible really isn't jus a whole set of stuff that we're not meant to understand in its entirety. but if you work it out, it makes more sense than ever cuz everything is united in a single argument (think thesis statement) heh! kinda reminds me of the chronicles of Narnia where they were talking abt logic.. haa.. i find it pretty true.. heh! wad's more amazing is the way God always comes to my rescue even tho He doesn't need to, when i'm struggling in the waters of doubt by giving me stuff like the campus online article. thank You Daddy!

its true.. how can i live without Him? -big grin-

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/02/2006 05:20:00 PM .

I Can't Stop Sinning
Answer by Marshall Shelley

Q. I know that when you sin you are supposed to repent and ask God for forgiveness, but what if you really mean to stop and don't? What if you just can't stop committing that sin? Will God forgive me a second or a twentieth time?

A. Guess what? If people could stop sinning by just deciding to stop, we'd all know a lot of perfect people. But no one stops sinning. No one. I sure don't, despite my best efforts. Even Paul confesses that he continues to do what he doesn't want to do. When the Bible tells us to repent, it doesn't mean we're able to stop the sinful behavior by just deciding to (Romans 7).

Instead, repentance means "to turn." We turn our minds back to Christ—confessing where we are and where we long to be. We admit we've sinned and ask Jesus to cleanse us. We can't do that ourselves. It's God who changes us. This process is called sanctification—and it's a result of continued prayer, confession, admitting our dependence on God, and seeking strength.

Through sanctification, sin does lose its power over us and we can become stronger. But we never stop sinning because we are human. Therefore, all of us have to keep turning back to Jesus time after time. It's only when we stop returning to God after sinning and start pretending like our sins are OK that we begin doing very serious damage to our relationship with God.

If we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive us (1 John 1:9). Jesus taught the disciples that they needed to forgive people who sinned against them "7 times 70 times" (or 490 times). If he expected his impatient and flawed disciples to forgive that many times, we can be sure that God is willing to forgive us as often as we come humbly and confess our shortcomings to him with a desire for him to change our lives.

Marshall, a former pastor, is now editor of Leadership Journal, a magazine for pastors.

Copyright © 2006 by the author or Christianity Today International/Ignite Your Faith magazine.Click here for reprint information on Ignite Your Faith.January/February 2006, Vol. 64, No. 6, Page 48

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/02/2006 05:18:00 PM .

this hols has really been one for reunion and erhem.. an exchange of news like who's with who and who's getting married etc.. haa..

reunion: tino, simon, myra, daryl, shauna, saula came back! well.. for daryl it was more like a meet up after such a long time.. and for the others.. yes.. tino fr US, simon n myra from China, Heilongjiang, shaun from Aus and saula for a brief visit from East Timor. so that's really jus kinda cool! hv loved every bit of the yr end holiday.. -beams-

[watching "Born Free" now.. the song is Sooooo nice! and well.. its a really old film.. so it interesting to see all the footage.]

the 'news': apparently my cousin Victor is dating someone seriously from my church! ahh! so cool lo.. she's from my region somemore.. wahhahaha and we all totally didn't know.. till ytd! we were all mentioning that once everyone gets married we'll all be like related.. and tt's kinda weird! put all of us together and we can actually form a cell group or someting! wahahha how interesting can this be man.. my other cousin's also getting married like end of this yr.. dec 27th? ha.. can't wait to see him settled down!

wad's really odd is that.. i'm suddenly alerted to the many unions among my friends and cousins.. ha.. but yet.. deep down.. i dun feel like i shld be worried that i'm not the one getting involved with anybody jus yet.. heh! call it a godly peace if u will.. but yeah.. not in a hurry tho my eyes are definitely open now.. haa.. after my 3 yrs of deciding to stay off dating and the like tho admittedly, i had my distractions.. heh heh.. ar well... this is a new yr after all.. u'll never know what will happen.. haa =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/02/2006 01:52:00 PM .

whee! nice nice day! =) had a lot of fun today svae for the morning when i was grumpy and grouchy.. hahaha guess i was tired from last nite.. and things didn't exactly come along smoothly tho eveyrthing went well.. aka according to plan.. bottom line: learn to give thanks IN all situations.. that's something God's teaching me today.. haa..

bought new specs! whee.. see pics for new look.. alvin says i look v different.. so.. oh NO! i'm gonna hv pp NOT recognize me again! why oh why do such tings happen? hahahah

last nite was out wif jc pp.. fun too! snap snap snap pics.. and well..not too proud of some things i said last nite.. so yeah.. really took the time to pray and reflect this morning... thank God for mornings and time.. haa.. today's been absolutely beautiful..

i feel like the core of this yr is Restoration.. jus got that 'word' while i was praying.. and yeah.. i believe that God wants to restore what was lost.. to put back the stuff that has been taken away or robbed.. and to fill up the gaps and broken spaces that have been there for so long. so yeah! looking forward to 2006.. its gonna be a great yr!

personal direction is to.. well.. move in a direction.. hahah i realize that many times i'm jus going on with the flow like jus living from day to day.. but this time i really wanna have a particular goal in mind to walk towards.. and i know God's gonna reveal that to me in the duration of this yr. another ting is.. to hv MORE Humility. honestly.. tt's one thing that i really hv to work on.. and yet... its not by my strenght but by His grace and power!

really plsed e past 2 days cuz everybody(okay.. not everybody.. but the people that matter) say i look nice! yay! i've never felt prettier in my life.. well.. maybe i hv.. but i honestly likehow i look now.. ytd n today.. somehow i jus look nice.. thank U Daddy!! =) U just know how to cheer me up.. whee!

happy! but hmm.. i can't decide if i shld go jogging, blading or swimming tmr? haa.. e youth are gathering at amos' place tmr to chill out n watch movies.. but hmm.. shdl i go? shld i stay at home instead to accompany my dad? if he's at home tt is.. heh heh! but yeah.. exercise is a must tmr.. i'm putting on holiday flab.. hahahahahah la la la la...

it is good to give thanks to the Lord and sing Praises to Ur Name
Oh most High
to declare Ur lovingkindness in the morning
and Ur faithfulness
every night

woo ooh woo ooh woo ooh aah...

oh ya! my uncle jus said today tt i sing nicer than my mum.. hahah first time lo.. hahahah -bows- its really been a very compliment-ing day for me.. i'm happy.. feels good.. but yeah.. not abt to let this go to my head.. hahaha so i shall stop now.. heh! happy new yr everybody!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/02/2006 12:38:00 AM .

okay.. this is me being hiao2.. laugh all u want ba.. hahahah

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:32:00 PM .

sisters! somehow we're always wearing the same colour of something.. haa.. =) cool eh?

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:32:00 PM .

aww.. look at em.. happy and looking super nice together.. -beams- erjie and raymond

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:31:00 PM .

marina sq:thot e lights were nice so here we go..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:31:00 PM .

us! well.. camera man was raymond la.. permutation acts up again!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:31:00 PM .

us gals! whee...

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:31:00 PM .

aha! millenia walk: is this a slope?

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:30:00 PM .

the lights at the esplanade, they're on the river!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:30:00 PM .

juana! don't hide!! =) u're too pretty to do that..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:30:00 PM .

me and erjie! heh heh.. we look a lil dazed.. but oh well.. its e flash

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:29:00 PM .

me being a poser heh!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:29:00 PM .

me and juana! i can't remember why i gave that look.. but its an interesting expression don't u think? =P

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:29:00 PM .

juana being really happy with her light sticks

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:28:00 PM .

hey! we're the traffic light! hahahah

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:28:00 PM .

huang wei and me

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:27:00 PM .

us gals in the middle of the road.. we got scolded by the police for doing that tho...

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:27:00 PM .

lightsticks.. courtesy of raymond.. i won't say from where! apparent blue colour signifies "remains", red "danger" and yellow "bodies". morbid thots for the new yr eh?

i keep on walking took her pride away at 1/01/2006 11:26:00 PM .