Love, or Pride?

alright.. i'm happy.. cuz

1) i have two exams down - evolution and biodiversity

--> not so happy cuz i itnk i could've done better for biodiv. if i'd really put more effort into it but hey.. under exam conditions.. wad my brain thot.. i did write down la.. so at least tt regret's outta the way.. and no way did the lectures notes supplement whatever was required for the paper. it was all logical reasoning wor.. and as far as i can remember cuz its my brain that did the thinking.. is that all the main drivers for biodiversity loss is the apathy on the part of the people and the fact that economic success is valued so much more than ecological success. that peole just want a quick fix. and development as a land conversion reason is too strong a force. hahah now.. if only i'd summed it up as nicely as i've done it in here.. but oh well!!
* i tink i've adopted this attitude that if its done its done.. no point worrying and getting all flustered over it.. plus.. i'm approaching this mindset that they're all CAs.. heh.. and somehow.. i dun feel like exams are the be-all and do-all anymore.. somehow.. maybe its jus for now.. but i'd like to document somehow somewhere that i at least once felt this way abt life. heh! it ain't all abt exams and results!!! =)

which leads me to my second happy reason (it was such awesome news to me!)

2) i got an A for my evolution CA.. yes.. the CA that i was sooooooo worried abt 2 posts ago. and wow.. its jus amazing.. God reaaally really honours his people.. praise the Lord!! i honestly hv no idea how i got that grade lo.. i'm jus feeling like.. its really God this time tt did the trick.. =)

another evidence for God leading the way..

3) collected our media group project.. got a B! alright.. def would've like to get a B+ or something at least.. but hey.. i realize that dr lazar did give us a pretty good grade le.. for what we submitted.. so really thank God for that favour.. phew!

4) of cuz.. finally collected my ind media short assignment and i got quite a good grade.. wheee!! A!! =) and i'm super happy abt it.. cuz actually i was kinda mulling over it and wondering if i wrote on point or not cuz she gave out some pretty bad grdes for sme of us in class.. was jus plain worried la.. but i'm glad it turned out fine.. praise the Lord!!

5) i'm feeling God again!! woohoo.. its jus so so so awesome to know u're walking with the King! and to know that He's ur Friend as well.. somebody who won't leave you no matter wda.. and i realize how totally selfish and proud and bad i've been.. (yes i have.. u guys jus dun see it) and it jus came to a point where i jus repented and said sorry to God.. and oh man.. it was soooo liberating.. and its like now i have a fresh set of eyes to see things with and i feel like i'm definitely much closer to God.. and its jus so great that He loved me sooo much even when i was wrong and i was hurting Him so much.(evidence: how He's been blessing me thru all these and jus sustaining me an dgiving me such divine opportunties during the same time period when i was totally disobeying Him and being such a hypocrite) thank You Jesus!!

so yup yup.. i'm really really happy with how things are right now.. =) trying to be more positive and less critical too.. so yeah.. jus going past everyday and leaning on my Friend for strength! whee hee heeeeee

next exams:
Sat 29/4 - Language, society and identity 1pm [i actually forgot i had an exam and i was planning a blading session followed by a movie on the day itself lo.. can u imagine!! my goodness.. i'm either super slack or super blur.. quoting fr a msg i sent to dawn this morn.. hahaha this is soooooo weird.. off character man.. ]

Thur 4/5 - media, discourse and society 1pm [jia u jia u! 50% wor!! - jacob.. see this ?? hahaha ]

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/25/2006 07:10:00 PM .

wheee! i'm feeling happy cuz i did well for my evolution CA.. yay! jus after i was worrying this afternoon abt whether i jeopardized my 'life' by skipping a super impt fieldtrip.. YAY .. God.. U've come thru once again! thank u thank u thank u thank u!!!!!!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/24/2006 09:51:00 PM .

hahahah especially for evolution! cuz u can find everything on wikipedia.. i have a feeling that everything is jus very wikipedia-ish in this module.. so i'm now jus surfing that space for definitions on evolutionary mechanisms etc etc. heh.. plus its open book.. so well.. i'm expecting the questions to be application n understanding based.. but at least its open book! =) i've never had a science open book exam before.. heh heh.. so i guess its realy gonna test my concepts.. which i hope are stable enough to carry me thru.. we didn't do much evolution for jc bio.. heh.. and i tink my brain's have forgotten that they even stored bio info before! hahah bad! but at least i'm feeling more or less better abt my exams and the studying that i'm putting in..

somehow i tink i learn better when i see where everything fits in.. and i tink i'm becoming some kinda net junkie.. i'm like reading off conservation-themed websites to get more info for my biodiversity module (i'm so proud of myself!) and i'm actually learning more from wiki than from lectures.. whoopsie!

now jus hope that the info stays in my head.. heh heh heh.. tmr's my day for science! so i shall switch to science mode soon.. la la la la.. they're both gonna be at usp.. so its.. evolution.. den biodiversity.. yippeeeee!

i shall positively proclaim that my God will lead me to victory!!! woohooooooooooooo

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/24/2006 03:27:00 PM .

tmr's e first day of exams for me! and i gues i'm getting the pre-exam jitters.. but its really weird now.. like i know i'm not supposed to be feeling jittery over it.. cuz half of me is saying.. chill.. jus treat it like u would any other CA since most of the exam weightages are like 50% or lesser.. save for evolution.. (gaargh!) and i know God will get me thru this.. so that's one source of relief... maybe its e conditioning of jc and the years gone by that we should be nervous when exams come-a-knocking.

now tt's sad..

have i ever mentioned how i tink youth these days are really hammered on all sides. and most of the time we're moulded into shapes that jus don't suit us..

but yet... these shapes are the ones that work in the real world we live in. and most of the time, we jus dun really know what to make of those shapes anymore. (think identity crises)

oh gosh.. i sound philosophical. i tink these days my brain jus shoots off in so many directions i can't seem to gather em all back together..

darn.

am i jus stressed or is this jus one of those seasons in life when u jus go trotting down memory lane and u begin reflecting and doing ur bit of soul-searching.

guess we all need that sometimes.. =) we're only human..

i find it amazing actually (i jus re-read wad i typed on top) that we value exams and CAs so much. think back in olden times.. (okay.. go with me reeeeaaallly back in time) when stuff pp needed was food and clothing and a shelter over our heads. yes... exams n a degree give us that thing we call a 'headstart' towards meetings these needs that we have. but honestly.. would failing to get such a headstart kill u off instantly?

perhaps sometimes we jus need to stop being afraid of failure - the monster that makes a whole lot of noise but doesn't have any teeth when it comes to chow time. heh!

- this is written with relevance to me la.. heh! sooo.. ar well.. jus rambling on..

jia u to everybody having exams and those swamped with work so much that you can't see the surface! u'll get there!! =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/24/2006 12:21:00 PM .

alritey.. tt's what my nick reads now.. heh! and honestly.. its really wad i'm feeling now.. its like.. i know i shld be stressed or in somewhat concerned over my studying and tt i'm getting on track.. but somehow i dun feel it.. and somehow tt's tripping me up a lil.. yikes!

seriously.. how do u study for open books and stuff on conservation?? for evolution.. i've done my share of reading thru notes.. and reading e bryson boook.. i tink for now i'll jus highlight the bryson book and make sure i can find my material easily during the exams.. and for conservation. i'm reading up on recent issues on the web now.. at least tt beats mulling arn my notes and not getting anything. i tell you.. reading em jus makes me go cross-eyed.. not mention the headache that comes with it. and it wasn't even heavy reading! it was jus like NOTHING was going in.. gosh!

am i getting distracted? but by wad? my mum was saying that i seemed to hv slackened.. but hey.. compared to the past few weeks of craziness.. hahah maybe tt's why la.. =) or maybe its cuz she's been seeing me reading the bryson book which IS a course text and she thinks i'm reading some novel and totally not digging my readings/notes. heh!

gargh.. stuck between studying for evo and conservation.. i feel more inclined now to study for evo.. but heh.. i need to do that for conservaiton too.. la la la la la..

ar well... =P

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/20/2006 06:59:00 PM .

WE's day out at East Coast!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:18:00 PM .

we begin our day after subway (hey it rhymes!). pic taken at the bus stop while waiting for 31 to come - wee ngee looks like he's a passer-by hahahah

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:18:00 PM .

the girls of the group.. woohoo! we rock!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:17:00 PM .

do we look like siblings here?

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:17:00 PM .

hmmm!! doesn't she look like she's saying that?

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:16:00 PM .

love is... when there's food! - so says chloe

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:16:00 PM .

our baby... Chloe!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:15:00 PM .

me in blading gear - thank you to xuan for this solo pic.. wahahah..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:15:00 PM .

ms fong and me

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:14:00 PM .

at macs hiding from the rain.. cheryl tan looks pleased and i look attitude.. hahah!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:14:00 PM .

WE begin our slew of photo taking after the rain stops (clockwise from left: xuan wan, hoho, me, tantan, rion)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:13:00 PM .

and so we begin our fountain photos... we are crazy pp! and they had to help me up the fountain cuz i was jus too freaked to get up there on my own.. hahah!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:12:00 PM .

uncle wee ngee, me and xuan

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:11:00 PM .

xuan, me and tantan (cheryl)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:11:00 PM .

us or rather hoho.. heh!... being dramatic (xuan.. you look v hot in this photo u know? hahahah!!)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:11:00 PM .

hoho looking cheeky and VERY happy.. =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:10:00 PM .

WE in full force at the fountain outside macs

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:09:00 PM .

can we eat it now.. preeeetty pleaaase...

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:09:00 PM .

don't say we not healthy k? we had dessert.. with fruits........... like ya rite... =P

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:08:00 PM .

now you see it...

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:07:00 PM .

... now you don't

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:07:00 PM .

happy shiny people

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 03:07:00 PM .

okay.. finally A picture of social nite.. ha.. that's yp on e left and josh on the right.. not a nice pic i'll admit.. but its for u guys out there who are 'dying' to see a social nite pic.. hahah =) - check out the height difference. yp is a GIANT i tell you!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 02:59:00 PM .

jus watched the mtv that eugene put on his blog.. the love fool one.. heh! my goodness that certainly brings back memories.. =) i remember watching it in sec 2? and it was on videotape! can u imagine? the era of tapes was not over yet!

looking at it now at an undergrad.. or rather.. with years of experience behind me (ai seh.. say until like i so li hai like that rite? wahahah) or at least compared with the mind of a sec 2 girl.. i feel like i'm looking at the scenes so differently now.. hahah =) interesting eh?

it amazing what time does...

*i shall go and print my biodiv notes now! missing some.. heh heh..

*to xm: yaa.. ur comments thingie not working! i posted so much!! hahahahahha tagboardtagboardtagboardtagboard!! -beams-

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/18/2006 11:17:00 AM .

i loved the weekend! i love the pp whom i'm with.. i LOVE em all!! =)

1) out with mark and josh on fri (after performance) and sat (night)-- happy!
2) they buy me a super nice bible - two tone, New Living Translation, light, with red highlights.. SO BLESSED!
3) bought dinner for me - filet o fish meal
4) bought nachos for me - cuz they realize that e snack bar was closed and i was craving for nachos..
5) paid for my movie ticket
6) sent me back for both days at night.. with the midnite surcharge and refused to take any $$ from me.

you tell me where can find such nice guys?? i'm sooo lucky la!

Sunday :
1) had nothing to do
2) met spectacular pp! wheee
3) lunch at subway - cold cut trio MEAL (means i had the cookies!!)
4) pool with some of em.. cool..
5) home early with sis and al
6) sis and al cook pasta for dinner - homemade carbonara sauce with bacon and mushrooms
7) the mummy was on tv! yay!
8) ate my nachos (tho now i feel pig-ish)

TODAY:
1) out with WE! i love em!
2) go for subway - shared 3 meals between the 5 of us
3) go to see CHLOOOOEEE cuz we wanna put our stuff first den go blading/cycling
4) BLADING AND CYCLING! wheeeee
5) but rained.. so we chilled at macs for FRIES.. and den coffee bean for coffee (duh) and CAKE! yumm yummmm
6) back to see CHLOE! pweeeeety baby!
7) to blk 85 for our feast! muahahaha -- fried carrot cake (half black/white), 15 sticks of satay, 8 chicken wings, 1 sting ray, oh lua (oyster omelette), lime juice + water chestnut for drinks, 3 bowls of dessert (chendol, red ruby, ice jelly) YUM

results - feeling fat and full.. hahah but HAPPY and feeling like i've taken a million pictures.. so fun today!!

almost had a heartattack cuz biodiv essay almost couldn't make it.. but thank God for good team mates who really pull their weighto n this.. i feel so bad that i couldn't contributed tt way.. cuz this day out was planned so much earlier.. =( but heard fr yc tt pandit looked quite please.. so -looks up- i know U'll take careof this right DAd?

agenda for tmr is : go jogging somehow somewhere sometime AND study! (i hv been slacking!)

update on internship: interview with em on 5th may @ 1pm. and i finally got my job scope.. i realize its really like Hooked.. yay! i love my internship! =P IF i get it that is.. i hope i do i hope i do.. Daddy.. i want!! :P

pictures up soon! we took a lot of nice pics today.. -beams-

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/17/2006 11:13:00 PM .

haha hum that according to the chorus of so exciting.. la la la la la la la la and you'll get wad i mean when i say that the song is stuck in my head.. i tink for the next few days my sentences will all begin with "so..."

but honestly.. it feels kinda surreal.. now that everything's over and wrapped up.. u know.. like one of those times the impossible happens and u go thru it.. but once u're out of it.. u wonder if it ever took place in reality or whether it was jus dream that only u experienced. i tink if not for the fact that pp are still talking to me abt it and congratulating me and encouraging me.. i'd prob think that it was jus me.. hahah!

i tink this easter/gd friday has really been a special one. and i tink we owe it all to God who made this day a special one in the first place. He's really pulled us thru the day and the dayS that led up to it. i mean, i really have no idea how i managed to get thru school, readings, assignment and the musical planning and practices. its really gotta be God that's doing all this lo.. and i'm just so thankful i have a God that i can turn to when tough times come and even in the normal happier days.. to have someone to thank and know that He's always with me. =) this entire production has really been abt Him.. and He's taught me soooo much..

it was really awesome to see how everybody jus rallied together and stepped outside their own old cliques and be integrated into one huge family.. i mean.. its jus awesome la! =) the new ones were welcomed with open arms and those that we rarely saw talking or stepping up.. wow.. they reeaaally stepped it up.. and i know the comm really worked VERY hard on this.. i jus find it so amazing.. to put it in yi xian's words that this day even happened (and pretty well at that) without a help of any adult.. i mean.. it was really a youth thing! and it jus goes to show that when God's with you.. age is NOT a factor and all it takes is a heart for pp.. to see the message go out.. and i tink this musical has really matured a lot of pp.. spiritually.. like ytd aaron jus came up to me and my group of frens and started getting to know em.. hahah that dude is so nice la! and i tink all the praying and worship really opened their eyes in that it isn't boring or wad but its passionate and super impt! =)

i really feel so proud of everybody.. and my net especially.. cuz i think they really stepped up to the challenge and they've sacrificed soooo much for this production.. i tink we've all jus grown closer in the process.. =) my dance girls were awesome too! i really saw how they poured all their effort and heart into the dance.. and hey! u guys did great! i'm proud of ya! =P

if anything... i felt this musical was really a stretch of faith for me.. i cannot tell the countless of times i really felt so helpless that things was going in such a way that it was beyond human hands to rectify.. and i found myself jus crying out to God to help.. because nobody else could. and it also opened my eyes to alot of my own weakness.. as in the condition of my heart. i really learnt how to be compassionate like how Jesus was to the pp arn Him.. and i know i'm still gonna be learning that lesson as i grow in my walk with Him. and i've also seen how awesome He is.. and i'll always remember how even in the toughest of situations.. things jus worked because we worshipped and prayed and He was faithful in answering our prayers.. i'll always remember the peace He gave and the assurance He gave that all we had to do was to do our best and that He would do the rest... i mean.. it was jus so real that that point of time..

most of all.. He taught me to never lose sight of the reason why this musical was put up in the first place. sure.. it started out with a passion but when the going gets tough.. its always easy to lose sight of that focus.. and that end.. and i know i stumbled a lot on e way.. when it jus turned to work instead of service.. but i'm soo glad for the pp that God has place arn me.. to help me get back on track and also for Him.. who constantly brought life to my heart as i read the Bible.. worshipped.. prayed and jus spent time with Him. if anything.. it brought new focus to my life abt how these things were soooo impt! and i'm glad that everything's worked out the way it is.. =)

*thank You to You... Jesus... *

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/15/2006 01:35:00 PM .

First, take a MRT or a bus down to Tampines Interchange

Hop on the bus 293 that shares the same berth as the bus nos. 65 and 22 (don't take e other 293)

Not counting the interchange, get off at the 4th stop.

Across the road, over yonder (grins), you should see a blue-ish building (it has some bricks here and there)

Cross and road and walk to the entrance which would be towards your right as you face the building.

Go riiiiight in.. take the Lift to the third floor and U'll be there!

hahahha.. hope this is clear! really looking forward to seeing you guys there.. =P

I invite:
EVERYBODY reading this BLOG! whahahaha
so far for the swappies... erjie, shaun ong, lin yen and hopefully eugene are coming..
have got jacob and his friend (nudge nudge.. date?) coming too
edwin's coming and i hope panpan wif her guy are too
josh and mark are coming too!
samuel most prob.. invited nick n his girl but dunno if he got my msg.. maybe outfield wor.. =)

yup! and i invited kwee ting today too! -beams- other pp invited are.. suteck, cheelay, kyle, raymond,wendy, pinky, huangwei, toktok, xm, errrr.. and the many others that read this blog? or know me? hahah this is abt as close to a pre-21 birthday bash as it gets.. and there's more! some of em i've contacted le.. and some i haven't.. so if u happen to read this blog and you see these pp arn.. let em know that i'm inviting em! and show em this url!! whahahaha

to elang gang.. wanted to invite u guys but i tink u're in great hands at hoho's musical too! =P so dun worry abt it.. enjoy urselves there! tho if you guys wanna make 2 rounds of musical spectating.. i dun mind!!! -grins-

la la la

off to practice!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/11/2006 06:51:00 PM .

Come check it out!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/11/2006 06:51:00 PM .

haa.. my child lang got 80/100! yay! praise e Lord! and for media presentation we got a provisional grading of A-/A. woohooo!

today's easter pract was very good.. really came together.. and i know that we're only gonna improve! =P praying and fasting really does work cuz when tt happens, you put God in the pic.. and when He's there.. He's really all you need..

and tt's wad we're all gonna need this next week.. i'm gonna praise the Lord all day now!! =P cuz He deserves it..

alritey.. now gonna do my biodiv essay le.. shall finish by tonite! wheee!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/09/2006 10:14:00 PM .

u guys are the most awesome bunch of pp ever! u dunno how blessed i feel to have u guys as frens.. =)

i realize my blog turns into a thankyou list ever so often.. but hey.. its true.. i've jus got so much to thank pp and of cuz God for that i can't help but do it thru the medium that everybody reads and all tt la..

to sum up.. ytd would've been a TOTAL disaster if not for the awesome hearts my frens have..

lemme bring u thru my day..

(starting from the nite before at practice) was really tired out frm the day and also fr my sickness so when practice stretched longer than it shld. i jus flipped la.. was cranky and bothered and thank God for daphne and cabs.. hahaha but ya.. guess this tiredness carried over to the next day cuz even tho i wanted to work on my bio essay tt nite. i decided that it was good enough and jus decided to concuss.

boy was i wrong

i woke up and thot.. hey mayb ei'll do some last min editing only to realize.. horror of horrors that i was on a totally wrong track of argument! i was talking abt gene propagation and all tt stuff in such a wrong way la.. and i felt i wasn't addressing the idea of evolution at all.. so i jus started to tweak it and before i knew it.. it was 8am le.. and u know.. living in the east and travelling to the west.. eveyr minute counts.. and so .. my lovely angel of a sister gave me 20 bucks and told me to take a cab down to school.. u'd think that it'd all stop there eh? NOooooOO..

peak hr period.. and my sis warned me before.. but ya.. anyways. went down and found this other couple waiting for cab outside my place.. thot to self: nevermind.. shld be okay one.. den i saw the abosolutely disparaging numbers.. out of 5 cabs i saw.. i tink like 99.9% were taken la.. hahahah okay tt's an exaggeration but it certianly felt tt way to me lo

and worst thing is.. while i was politely waiting for the couple before me to grab a cab first (since they were dere earlier) this LADY walked out and hailed the cab tt came and happily hopped on to it.. grrr.. if the couple was ticked.. they certianly didn't show it la.. but i was so riled up.. cuz i jus wanted em to get a cab so i could get one too! (sigh)

but in the end.. out of sheer frustration as i saw another guy come up and wait for a cab too.. i decided that it was getting too crowded in there for a cab.. so i crossed opp. to wait for one. and wonders of wonders.. the other two parties on my original side of the road got cabs!

i was so cheesed off i jus thank God that the traffic was enough to shut out all my deranged grunts and growls. hahahahha

so in the end i gave up and said.. i'll jus take the bus to int and see how.. cuz i remember that there were some taxi stands there.. so i hopped on the bus and believe. i've never felt more happy than to see a bus stop at the mere flick of my wrist given tt all the countless cabs tt i've done tt to and with LARGER waving actions hv simply jus driven on (well okay cuz they had pp in there la). but honestly i was so desperate den that anything i saw that was yellow and shiny.. i jus waved la.. hahahah even to this van that was passing by.. cuz i was frazzled alr.. seriously frazzled.

anyways.. managed to get a cab to school.. at the taxi stand opp. bedok mrt.. phew.. thank God for e girl tt decided to pull over there.. and there i was.. zooming away to school.. but of cuz .. my mind was alr preoccupied with the bio essay la.. and so i was drafting a new line of argument right there in the cab..

and this is where one of my other angels come into the pic..

after i reached class.. cheryl ho jus very concernedly (i'd say she's sweet) asked me if i was alrite.. and honestly.. this girl has really been a pillar of strength for me la.. she's jus e nicest girl ever.. and den when i looked arn for a lappie.. there was xuan wan wif one.. and this babe jus lent me her lappie.. and i feel so eternally grateful to her right now.. she literally saved me cuz i really needed to type my essay and while it wasn't a totally re-typing activity.. i needed to rearrange parts and do ove rmy intro and stuff.. so i was stressed.. v stressed.. and i realized b4 i left e hse too tt i forgot to charge my lappie batt.. so i was really stranded.. left high and dry.. and it really made such a significant difference that xuan lent me her lappie and cheryl went to settle the media essay stuff.. really thank God for these pals i hv..

not to mention uncle rion n heidi and phey ying who totally understood and empathised with my situation.. these kinda emotional support really matters lo..

and den after class.. for justina and eugene who were so willing to give up their lappies so i could redo my paper AND presentation. eugene i know u had to do work.. so thank u so much for being so willing to sacrifice ur lappie and to justina.. U really came thru for me! thank U!! even when it was time to print etc..

to all the rest who were at swaps.. like shaun goh.. who was being a great help.. hahaha he jus cracks me up la.. =P and to susu! for sitting beside me with the tantalizing smell of his lunch.. at least it got me distracted from my stress.. hahaha and his encouragement helped too.. and CHRIS! brother! u're jus awesome la.. thanks for the entertainment and the moral support.. =)

tt's how i got thru my day in a way.. and to top it off.. was sick as well.. so all the concern tt u guys showed me after my class (which i thot went pretty alrite) thank u! kyle was being the nice sweet person that he is.. and yeah! come by swaps more often!!!! :)

i'm so blessed la really.. haa.. =) and i wanna thank God for bringing me thru this week.. its really been one WEEK..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/08/2006 12:05:00 PM .

wheeeheeeheeee happy! =)

Dear Karina,

MCYS is keen to take you as an intern though it will not be on the 2 projects that were previously indicated.
MCYS will be in touch with you directly to determine your interest and so do expect a call from them.

We hope something will work out and do inform us of the outcome of it.

All the best.

---
read this email only after the person called me up and asked if i was interested in coming in to write for their youth online portal.. for their youth division! woweeeee! =) its like my favourite things coming together can? writing and youth!

yay yay yay yay.. let's hope eveyrthing works out la.. the person sounded super nice on the phone.. funny dude.. =) and i'll be meeting up wif him n the rest of the pp i guess, after my exams so i can check out what everything's like.. YAY

thank You Daddy!

DONE:
Biodiversity Presentation
Identities Paper
Media Presentation

on the waaaaaay.. by tmr 1600hrs
Evolution Paper
Evolution Presentation
Media Paper

woohooo..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/06/2006 05:49:00 PM .

i can't believe its thursday.. wow.. and to think the last time i typed here was like.. hmm.. monday(i tink)? where did all e time go?

this trickling of time ain't too bad tho.. cuz it jus means that all the assignments that came with the time aka deadlines are done too.. so tt's jus awesome! i can feel the weight all slipping off now..

today's presentation was pretty good.. i tink dr lazar liked it.. but i tink i sound stupid! oh noooo.. my brains are slowly being sucked out and ewwww... there goes my ind. grade den.. heh heh.. =)

did the final editing for the content of our media essay.. let's jus hope it works too.. and rachel + cheryl are gonna do the word cutting.. phew.. thank God for em.. hahah

after this will be evolution presentation and paper tmr.. and den i wil be FREE.. yaaay and den its moviemoviemoviemoviemoviemovie!!

la la la

and of cuz.. time to get back to easter stuff.. cuz haven't been doing much.. thank God esther's really been handling this all.. =)

God's really getting me thru this.. and i dunno how this sem will turn out academically.. but yeah.. in His hands la.. sometimes worrying too much jus doesn't help.. no point.. =P

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/06/2006 01:20:00 PM .

yay!! last nite i was officially done with my parts for the essay.. yaaaaay.. so now its jus e editing and compiling.. which hopefully -keeps fingers crossed- shouldn't be too bad ya? haa.. but ya.. at least e info-generating moment is done.. phew!

ytd was cool.. biodiv presention went well i suppose.. i was jus being very entertaining and i hope i wasn't rambling and hopefully too, pp got my msg aka wad i was trying to say and not thinking that i was talking nonsense without research to back me up. gargh!

but yeah.. being there jus cheered me up big time.. i tink i was pretty stressed before the presentation cuz of wad i was doing at home.. WORK. plus 'hangover' from the day before. hahah too tired and too emotional le.. hahaha or shld i put it the other way round.. but ya! sunday was pretty trying for me.

just wanna thank those who gave me their love and ya..i love you guys.. no matter wad.. -hugs- i'm okay now.. i tink i jus needed a break from everything.. the repercussions of being 'overworked' hahaha tho on hindsight now.. i tink i jus had too little sleep and was pushing myself too hard.. haaa.. but yeah.. i'm good now.. and i'm glad it happened cuz its made me come back to God and seek Him again.. to know that He is the Master and the Only One.. =)

kinda resulted in me jus learning to worship Him again.. on the way to school.. listened to hillsongs and i tink one thing that hit me was 'don't tune God out again' and yeah.. i tink i've been guilty of that.. heck.. i've been guilty of so many things la.. gargh.. i've been a bad girl.. but it jus melts my heart to know that God loves me for who i am and in fact He loves everybody for who they are.. =P yep!

dawn was so sweet.. =) tt girl has an uncanny wy of predicting jus when i'm abt to snap and let the floodgates open.. this is the second time she's done it.. hahaha -hugs- and chloe was really really nice over msn last nite too.. ask me why i love this girls? there you have it.. cleone was so assuring over sms too.. i mean.. wow! and shereen.. she too! =) i'm soooo blessed..

and of cuz.. not forgetting my mummy who's jus been awesome the past week.. its like she knows i'm stressed.. so she really tries to make things so much easier for me.. and oh.. she bought me shoes! hahah so i'm finally shoe-full! all my shoes are broken/old if you didn't know.. haha so i've been getting by on my old butterfly charles and keith shoes.. life saver!

erjie and just are great company to have too.. being arn em is so nice! haa.. =) and ytd at biodiv.. i tink me and jacob jus spontaneously 'combust' with hyperactivity when we're together.. hahah he says that i cheered him up.. but i tink he started me up too.. wahahahha! =) tho when i came into class i was alr kinda cheered up alr.. haa.. this other girl was very amusing.. but yeah.. glad to be of service jacob.. -curtseys-

this week will be over soon.. and i know its gonna be a good one.. =) praise the Lord!

oh oh .. update:

NUS-in-Yale.. i didn't get it.. haa.. but its alright.. God knows what He's doing.. and i'm glad i now dun hv to make painful decisions (mcys or yale) if i get both.. and well.. yeah! they were looking for cap and essay.. i tink it was my cap that cannot make it.. wahhahahaha!

and err.. i can't remember e other one.. haa.. that i'm watching V for Vendetta (finally!) this fri? hahaha can't remembe rla.. alritey.. zooooooooooooom awaaaaay...!!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/04/2006 09:26:00 AM .

eek.. i feel paranoid over my evolution essay.. i keep thinking that i don't make sense and that i've simply got the selfish gene thingie all wronG! ARGH.. God.. i really need ur help to take away this fear.. to take away this paranoia.. in Jesus name i pray..

gonna start on my identities essay tonite anyway.. shall get it out by sunday so it can be edited etc..

was telling farah abt my parents/family situation that day and she commented that i sound so normal talking abt it.. and i'll admit.. it made me think.. was i really oversimplifying/masking my emotions? but honestly.. i dun feel terrible abt it.. maybe its jus cuz i'm used to em? and i guess God has really got me by.. tt i know even if they split or something.. He's still my Dad.. that i hv nothing to worry abt and tt my parents still love me no matter what =)

i feel like its really jus so cool tt even tho my family's not perfect (well whose is anyway) but as in.. its jus not the kind of family where parents at least talk to each other or rather the kind that people think i belong to (perfect, with Christian parents, etc etc) that me and my sis turn out pretty functional.. i guess a lot of credit really goes to God for shielding us from so much pain. He's really healed a lot of wounds and given us a lot of reassurance.. and i jus think that's so awesome.. it jus shows how Great and Mighty He is..

but it did get me thinking that.. have i learnt to divorce myself from my feelings? am i normal to be able to do that? i mean.. not say i dun feel.. i actually find myself kinda real.. but hmmm.. i dunno.. am i fake??

today somebody prayed for me when i went up for altar call.. den he was saying that the word "compassion" came up in his mind alot when he prayed for me.. and i'm jus wondering.. am i too 'hard'-hearted for my own good? like.. am i not feeling or compassionate enough?? hmmmm

alrite... identities.. here i come! i shall hv no time to finish you tmr.. heh...

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/01/2006 11:07:00 PM .

ooh.. check out the time! its comign to 3am!! its now 2.57am as i'm typing this.. and my dad's still not home.. he's at work.. ar well.. guess there's at least another one of us up at this hour doing some work.. hahahaha =)

done with the short writeup and presentation.. write up sounds waaaaay better now.. incorporated some ideas i learnt in class today.. so tt's cool.. at least now it sounds more solid.. tho i'm wondering if evo ideas are to be debateable at all.. cuz i'm like basing it alot on the selfish gene.. heh! and abt gene propagation.. and how HIV-1 shows a contrary eg to this cuz of its loss of diversity in transmission.. which inevitably leads to a discontinuity in its gene propagation. heh heh! i'm wondering if i make sense..

anyways.. did up the presentation too.. simple one.. and added in some nice pics to bribe e class... wahahaha i tink this is the sem wif e most presentations for me lo.. garhg.. but actually i'm kinda beginning to enjoy it.. like making power pt slides and all tt.. =) la la la la

okay.. tmr's a busy day.. i jus hope i can last.. supposed to get up to dance at church tmr at 10.. HOW MAN?! hahaha jia u jia u!

tmr shall be identities day.. i'm done wif my parts for media le.. =) yep..

3 essays:
identities
media (done - waiting to do conclusion)
evolution (done)

3 presentations:
media (done)
evolution(done)
biodiversity (done)

for this coming week at least.. okay cool.. atl east i know where i stand on my preparedness.. phew! IDENTITIES.. here i come!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/01/2006 02:58:00 AM .

music to my ears at 1.34am! hahahah with evolution on my mind.. anything goes..

http://svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.swf

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/01/2006 01:34:00 AM .