Love, or Pride?

title: "i can't do everything on my own"

was jus thinking abt this today and i realize that saying this phrase really shows something.. it shows a kinda humility that yes you do need another person's help to get stuff done etc but to me.. it also shows strength cuz you're not jus relying on other people but you're working with other people.. so its not like you're some weakling and not doing anything.. this statement means that you're doing something too!

hahaha don't ask me how i suddenly thot of this la.. but heh! =)

anyways later mummy's coming down to campus.. yaaays! hopefully i can do dinner with her or something after my dance.. yep yep!

bought cereal last nite oh.. yays.. so now i can hv tt for breakfast and for SNACKS! wahahahah..and i realize that i have a LOT of food in my room that i do not eat somehow.. somehow when i'm here i jus dun snack as much. heh.. but den again.. tt might change once stress period hits.. heh! =)

jus waiting for DR to kinda be over so my life can get back to 'normal' so to speak.. but den again.. knowing me.. i might just be up and abt doing something else.. hahahaha =) DR is fun anyways.. its nice to be able to dance and perform and well.. the costumes are fun.. heh! my tube is super short la.. i jus realized last nite when i tried it out.. gosh!!! i cannot eat liao le.. hahahaha =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/30/2006 10:08:00 AM .

title: busified... and it's only the second week of school!

huff.. puff.. its been one heck of a week.. and i jus wanna say here how sweet my dear dawn has been to me.. she's really been one shining star and bubbly bubble to me.. and this sweetie pie bought me chocs ytd (handed em to me today) together with a card and girl.. you MADE my day! i'm so so blessed by you.. and of cuz.. there's ian too.. who i bumped into that tiring friday nite.. hahaha it was reeaaaaally nice seeing ya.. can't believe how much i miss talking to ya.. =) those times when we hung out.. man.. that was good hahaha!

but yesh.. this week has been busy-ing and tiring as well. last nite i came back a zombie.. so much so tt my dad relented having me go for dinner with him.. which i tink he really wanted (sorry dad..) and i also wanted.. but i was so so so tired.. and my body was jus screaming from pain (i have a low threshold for pain ya) from the burns i got while dancing.. yep.. i felt like i was jus back from some 3day2night camp.. but actually its jus school..

gosh.. since when did school get so tiring?

guesss it started from friday ba.. cuz i mugged and tried to do as many of my readings as possible withint that 5 hr gap till 10 plus when i met josh to go back together. he from cell grp and me from school. so i jus read and read and read... not to mention the night before i was also trying to do the same thing.. albeit within a different time frame. but ya.. i was trying to catch up on my readings. can you believe it? only the second week and i'm already behind.. thankfully by the only week i've been at school. hahaha! so yep.. its catchup time. and lemme tell ya.. God is so good.. wad looked to be a hellish weekend is turning out to be pretty good.. all the HOOKED articles are up.. my readings for the weekend are done in pretty quick time. i've gotten thru the travelling from school to home to net the next day to school adn den home again. God is good.. really.. =)

but yeah.. been super busy and guess a lil tired from all that i've been doing. not that i'm not enjoying but sometimes u jus gotta give it a rest and i guess this is one of those times. heh!

me is the item ic for my dance item so yeah.. gota do a lot of coordinating and contacting and all.. plus i've got my dance practs 2/3 times a week.. den there's HOOKED where i'm doing the meetings, timetable compilations, articles, uploading.. (thank God for joomla administrator.. its waaaaay faster than from the site itself!)

and of cuz there's school.. with my master's class proving to be one big reading load as well as weekly journaling in the pic.. it can be quite tight i guess but praise the Lord for His grace.. that woah! i'm thru this week! yays.. and its a super fun class where we get to do simulations and practice our negotiating skills.. i'm reaaaally learning loads.. love it! =) and i'm jus like applying it everywhere and even in the Bible i'm mapping those skills to the examples i see.. and woah.. its cool! i tink for me.. as long as i see relevance in wad i'm studying.. i'm all for it man.. i'm jus revved up for school! =) hahaha but yesh.. the readigns are pretty tough on my wallet i guess.. cuz this recent set i jus bought cost me a whopping 16bucks for 41pages! gossssh! talk about expensive! but heard that they jus flew in the papers and all and i guess cuz they're from har-vard so yeah.. brand name la.. the person prob gets paid royalties or something.. heh!! ohhh and for my readigns.. i'm so proud of myself.. i finished like 70 pages in 2 days! hahaha and def less than tt cuz i spent most of my days doing classes and stuff.. haa.. wheee! praise the Lord!

finally got on track with my CDa readings too.. and thank God interactional discourse isn't a killer with readings.. and oooh.. we did a 'Beauty World' acting and den transcription exercise.. super super funny la!!! =) sem and prag jus makes me wanna do more of it! and oh.. which reminds me.. tmr must go and get my readings done.. tt's the only set i'm behind for the week.. =) yays! PR mod is fun too.. love my lecturer and i tink a lot of it is common sense ar.. read the text and i'm so glad i finished reading the chapter in like.. hmm.. 40 mins i guess? or slightly less.. so yeah! tt's one down.. got one rxn paper to start on and get done by thur tho.. soyep.. tmr it is!!

today's drama was awesome too.. i tink God's hand is really with us la.. and i tink the team did superb today! as always.. =) i'm always so blessed by their company and all.. -beams-

and OHHH henry's staying at old KR!! yaaaaaay.. looks like i've got a neighbour and fren! i told him i'm gonna share my loaves of bread with him lo.. hahahaha =)

happy happy happy!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/27/2006 05:37:00 PM .

title: an awesome day!

wow! i can't believe how much i've enjoyed today! hahahah =)

woke up this morning at TEN am.. listen to this.. TEN ( i usually get up at odd hrs like 7 or 8am somehow) and i actually made it to the cfa dance area by abt 11 for the blast auditions. heh heh.. and now.. everybody thinks i'm auditioning.. but i'm not.. was jus there for the registration and all.. so yeah.. it was cool.. tho i tink i need to wk on my cool-composur-ing.. gotta work on staying calm and looking at things differently like its not theend of the world or something.. heh! i tend to be too serious sometimes..

but yep.. went fo rthat.. and afterwards headed for lessons at 1. was interactional discourse and today we were doing transcription.. the theory and the practical.. heh! we did a scene from beautyworld and it was so so fun! and funny at that! =) hahahaha and hoho.. u reaaaaally have a nice voice! and u're talented too! =) so yeaaah.. a different kinda class eh?

and i dunno abt others but somehow when i'm in class.. i feel inspired to read up and find out every single ting i can abt the topic. like in interactional.. i jus wanna be hardworking and all and jus do research every single day! hahahaha =) but yaaa.. being in school sometimes makes u slack off esp when you have access to internet all the time.. wahahah.. must discipline myself!! =)

after class me and hoho went down to the forum for shopping!!! oh alright.. it was jus me.. hoho did hers already -grins- and that girl is awesome to shop with.. she helps u with great buying decisions.. and i'd say thanks to her.. i bought meself birkie-look-alikes, a super mini skirt (my shortest ever.. and thank God i fit it!), and a abercrombie top.. i likeeee...

so that was retail therapy for me.. and i was 'dragging' poor hoho abt la.. she's such an awesome fren.. =) always so patient and jus there... i mean.. there's no pt having frens who're never there rite? well ho ho's one who's there.. and im super thankful and grateful for a fren like her =) -hugs-

and it honestly jus feels good to be arn pp who know you and who are ur frens la.. like today i was walking past the swaps table and those who were there jus yelled out my name.. hahaha i mean.. i know this sounds egotistical, but its my honest-to-goodness feeling.. i feel loved.. and i feel i belong.. and it jus makes my day to know that.. i'm SUPEr blessed.. love you guys!

hooked welcome tea was awesome too.. got a few of us seniors only.. but phwoar.. the number of juniors that turned up.. i tink they numbered 20++ soo it was quite a tight squeeze there.. and there was a WHOLE LOT OF FOOD! so much that i brought some back to hall (the hookers suggested it) and i jus went arn knocking on doors giving em away.. hence my nick..t he great Giveaway.. of cuz.. i'm also tinking abt what Jesus did la.. so yeah.. this is a nick tt's gonna stay wif me for quite a bit.. heh! but yeaaah.. i love being arn the hooked pp.. its jus like another family i belong too.. and that i'm glad i do.. cuz they're reaaaaally nice! =) and both me and shaun goh got another comment wondering if we're both together.. so of cuz we both jus went NOOo! hahaha but it's really cool that me and shaun are really close in that sense? tt we're really good frens and not jus hi-bye ones.. so yeaah.. i'm thankful for that.. and that dude has blessed me loads...

so yep..t oday's been an awesome day.. it feels perfect.. but yet i'm also aware of some stuff that i shldn't be doing.. and that is.. to jus mind my words (bottom line) i tink i need to live a life that's pure and holy.. and well.. i guess the Holy Spirit alerted me to this habit i have and yep.. i'm gonna change! started today with Him and i'm gonna end my day with Him.. =) last nite was jus an awesome time too.. i cried so much cuz i was so touched by God.. and josh .. phwar.. when he prayed i jus couldn't stop crying cuz he really brought the presence of God into my room and i couldn't help but break.. and i'm glad i did.. i tink God is real and He's genuinely interested in my life and yeaaah.. He's my God and my Friend and my Brother =) hee!

all in all.. praise the LORD!! woohoo!

*i can't wait to wear my new gear.. hahahaha and oooooh.. tmr going out out out!! =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/23/2006 10:19:00 PM .

title: i've got jam!!

wheee.. jus bought meself some jam for breakkie tmr.. and boy oh boy am i looking forward to breakfast! =) hahahah i figured that i had to have something less heaty for breakfast since i wanna eat bread for the rest of my life.. haa.. oh alright.. not in as extreme terms as tat but well.. it does help to have some variety ya know? so yippeee! and i dunno why but i felt extremely happy.. and well as you can tell.. still happy that i've got a jar of jam sitting at the corner of my food cupboard waiting to be eaten tmr... i tell you.. i'll prob jus wake up really early tmr.. instinctively and jus head straight for breakfast. heh!

which brings me to a astonish revelation abt myself.. i wake up ridiculously early.. and when i say that.. it's with regards to the days when i DON'T have classes or i have em really late.. so that's really annoying to a certain extent.. but today was good la.. good timing. managed to do my reading and my quiet time with God.. was so so good.. and i realize that i get quite a nice view of the trees and the sky when i go to the sides of my windows n peek out diagonally. really cool.. =)

and nothing feels better than to contribute constructively in class. heh! i tink i'm still rusty after the 3 month break since my brain doesn't seem to be working as fast or thinking for that matter. but i jus contributed on the forums.. which makes me feel kinda good cuz i know that at least i'm doing something constructive. there's nothing i hate most than to go to a good lecture and have nothing to say. don't ask me why but that just kills me. hhaha somehow i've always felt this obligation and most of the time, impulsion to just speak and contribute. but my shyness or my lack of proximity to where i can be heard usually gets in the way. and of cuz.. sometimes its plain laziness..

heh! which makes me proud to announce that i am joining netball recre with farah! =) wheee.. and i guess tt's wad's missing in my NUS life la.. i'm like collecting ccas eh? i'm in blast, hooked, been in a nussu committee, a club committee, a society.. so now what i need is a sport to make sure i'm doing everything lo.. hahahah ohhh.. and a community service opp would be good.. i wanted to try for venture kampuchea a YEP but i tink the applications are closed.. besides.. i tink mummy and papa will flip when they hear it.. heh! =) and ohh.. wanted to join lindy hop or dance synergy since i'm staying in school.. might as well make full use of the time eh? but i thot.. aiayh.. jus study hard and stick with wad i'm doing la.. so yep.. maybe next sem.. by then i shld've stepped down as lifestyle ed for hooked. heh! and blast will jus be once weekly sessions. now practicing hard for DR.

oooh.. the WE girls said they wanted to come for my DR performance.. -beams- you guys had no idea how happy i was.. hahaha i jus dun express myself well these days.. argh.. -slap slap- but yeaah.. was real happy.. and now gonna try to get em tix lo.. only for 5 tix for sunday now.. yesh.. we've extended the shows to 3 days instead of the planned 2 days. -proud beam- its all gonna be on the 8th, 9th and 10th of September at the UCC, 7.30pm. tix are priced at $12 (a lil pricey, which is why i'm not advertising much) and yep.. gonna be a 85min show.. heee..

-clears throat- today is also a SUPER DUPER special day.. cuz its... joshua's BIRTHDAY!! happy birthday dude!! =) 21 yrs old lo.. adult liao.. hahaha u're officially one status higher than me lo.. heh!

-beams- went out with him ytd and gave him his gift lo.. so yep.. hopefully he likes it.. heh!

la la la la la.. tv time!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/22/2006 10:07:00 PM .

only one thing is needed.. and mary has chosen wisely... yep.. and that is to sit at the feet of Jesus.

all i need is You Lord... is You Lord.. all i need is You...

its amazing how much Jesus can take away if only you jus submit ur all to Him.

i'm giving my all now.. and its all under His Lordship now. i am proclaiming victory over my situations and my feelings and my attitudes. I will trust in His promises and what His word says about me, cuz that is the Truth!

praise You Jesus.. King of Kings.. Lord of Lords.. the Ruler and Maker of the Universe. You hold it all. i'm leaving it at the altar now. the devil has no more foothold in my life anymore. i belong to you. i am a new creation. i am made whole. i will not listen to the lies. and Your mercies are new every morning! my sins have been forgiven and the old has gone.. the new has come.

i will be in this world but not of this world. the Lord is my shepherd and my guide. i will walk by faith and not by sight. and where God guides.. He also provides. hallelujah!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/22/2006 12:03:00 AM .

title: aiyaaah.. sick again!!

grrr.. i really hate being sick.. i jus tink it keeps you down so that you can't do whatever you need to do.. grr.. like i was abt to go for net today but i jus felt giddy and blah.. so yep.. had to cancel net.. i feel real bad that i can't be there for em lo.. sighs..

and i'm feeling so slack this week. like i haven been able to do my readings at all.. the only time i ever remember reading and studying might've been tues.. and the rest of it is jus history.. not that i minded doing any of those other things that i've been doing. but its jus this sense of unease that i'm not doing enough for school. taking on some tough modules this sem.. and now with all these other factors added in to my life.. i'm wondering how things will play out eventually. i tink i jus really need to believe and trust that God never fails and that He holds my future in His hands. yep.. but sometimes its jus frustrating esp when you can't even do your lil-est bit. like if i wanna do well, den i hv to at least do my part to read/study wad. but if i can't even do that, den how is it gonna come to past? hmmm... so i guess this sat off is kinda like a time for me to 'get my act together' so to speak.

but i'm really glad on the other hand, that this week (despite me feeling like a total bum/slacker) i got to meet up with all my favourite pp.. the pp who make school more than a building where i learn. its home! been lunching extensively with WE (in lil grps.. we need to get us all together!) and with some of the swappies.. so yep.. i'm kinda glad that i'm connecting with these groups of pp again.. and managed to meet up with josh and jie on thu and fri respectively. talked to mummy on wed nite =) yep.. i'm getting socially connected.. and i'm glad for that.. managed to make my way to CM meeting that wed nite too and i was so blessed by karen for the ride back to my doorstep in school.. really.. super super blessed by that.. cuz if not i would've prob reached home at like 11++ ?

i realize all the more now.. with all these changes in my life.. that i'm really relying on the goodwill of others if i might put it this way.. i tink God's telling me that i'm not alone and that i don't have to be superwoman or perfect all the time... so yep.. i'm humbled and really really fully appreciative of everybody who's part of my life.. yep.. thank you guys all so much. for all the concern and all the reminders to take care (i cannot count how many pp have told me that with real meaning behind it.. not jus out of courtesy) so yep.. i'm one lucky lil girl..

and yep.. sneaky pp irk me.. got pissed with a particular individual who didn't have the guts to tell the truth that nite. so yup.. was irritated and if the person is reading my blog now. this is jus to be upfront abt it. its not you as a person or a fren, but its how you put things across that irk me and it really jus pays to be honest and real. not pretending so much.

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/19/2006 12:10:00 PM .

title: my first class and reading of the sem

alright.. now that the bad bad incident of the tummy ache is over and behind me.. phew! i hope i'll never have to go thru it again.. today marked my first day offically back in school aka classes. and boy did i feel rusty. its almost the feeling like ur brains have been suckd out during the hols and they're still on a vacation in the bahamas or something.. i dunno.. hahaha..

on one hand.. i am looking forward to school big time.. i mean.. i like studying.. i like gettin my brain engaged in the stuff that's gonna prep me for the future. and i'm jus glad that now what i'm studying is looking pretty good.. i'd initially thot that i wouldn't enjoy one or two.. but woohoo.. i tink its gonna shape up to be one big productive semester. i feel like i can go in a certain direction with the modules i'm taking and yep.. i'm pleased abt it.. heh! i wanna be like Paul in his missionary journeys where he's jus so so well-versd and educated and so so on fire for the Truth. been reading the book of Acts.. and woah! its a super nice book la.. i can't believe that it took me this long (9 yrs as a christian) to finally get my teeth into this part of the Bible. shows how much i've been reading eh? terrible terrible...

but yesh.. CDA was first up this week.. and prof chng is super nice! she even got a 'get to know you' questionaire thingie ready so she could know us better.. and to me.. tt's jus wonderful la.. i lvoe having my lecturers know me .. call it egotistical but i can't stand lecturers who don't bother.. so yep.. i'm the kind who needs that personal touch. heh! =)

now i'm jus hoping that i can cope with the workload this sem.. i tink its looking pretty alright now.. since i'm staying on campus.. got mor etime to read and prep for class etc..jus hope i dun slack off.. heh! i tink i really wanna get serious in my third yr here.. so while i'm looking at the IVLE side bar where all the ads are going on... i'm super tempted to take up a new CCA but i know tt i jus wouldn't be able to handle it. so yep.. no no.. its the books for me..

big big storm today.. thank God for big brollies.. like e one i have in my room.. and i've discovered that my love for the shuttle buses in school has certainly not increased since i've started living here.. heh.. i rather walk to my classes lo.. okay.. cept for the early early one i have on thurs.. praying tt i'll find my way there alright! gonna snag the NUSSU diary tmr so i can get the campus map and hopefully the shuttle bus routes.. heh! =)

ohh.. and pp have noticed how my hair has turned from the bleached look to a super guai look according to em.. black. and i'm thinking.. i very havoc meh with my hair last time? -question mark- harharharhar.. ar well.. soon soon pp.. i'll wait a bit and stick with the guai look before i embark on my next expt with my hair..muahahaha!

okie.. study time.. tmr is zapping for me.. class.. dance (vetting!!! gasp!) and den children's ministry meeting at tpy.. i hope i get a ride back.. thur's an early day for me.. if not den.. oh well...

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/15/2006 08:22:00 PM .

title: busy busy first day and a tummy ache

gosh.. i never knew first days could be so so busy.. ark.. today was a whole lot of 'admin' i'd call it. printing out reading lists, printing lecture notes, getting ur readings on time.. welcome back to school i'd say. and of cuz, there's the walking to and fro; up and down hill/stairs/slopes.

many pp i'd like to thank for helping me get thru my day. cheryl nott and kwee ting for being the biggest dears in my moment of need. had a terrible terrible stomach ache that escalated in pain till i felt like i was giving birth to twins or triplets or perhaps more. was at dance from 4 and the pain kinda grew from there. i'm jus so so blessed with perfect timing that once ir eached arts (after the journey from UCC - which i took the wrong bus.. heh!) to get my readings from cheryl nott.. i had to go to the toilet. and i'd say that i went to toilet a grand total of 3 times tonite. twice at arts where the second time lasted abt 45 mins. i thot i was gonna vomit and faint in the toilet and pp were jus gonna find me, pants rolled down, bare-footed and of cuz.. in a whole lot of crap. ewww.. okay.. tt's quite a horrendous sight. but honestly i was thinking of heading to NUH if i couldn't stand anymore of this. it was so so pain. sigh.. never eat overnite food that's noti nt he fridge. esp if there's meat in it. gargh!

but yesh.. after everytg i was so so tired and faint i had to be escorted by ting and cheryl. which they VERY VERY nicely offered even when i didn't ask. i cannot express how blessed and how lucky i feel. and also how bad i feel abt making u guys wait for me. walk all arn with me. miss ur dinner. go back late. argh! those 2 had to buy my bread aka dinner for me cuz i had to run to the loo at that moment. and their buses were not even near the place i'm staying.. and they had to walk back with their subway dinners. i feel so indebted to em. i really tink tt i owe em one.. big time.

so i couldn't get back to dance pract cuz i was in the loo. and gosh.. i'm jus so glad i'm back in my room now.. home.. all washed up and ready for bed. i have a loaf of bread with me and one slice has alr becomed (is there such a word) my dinner. whahaha..

oh.. big big thanks to xuan also for zapping the readigns. sorry i bothered u so badly with the phone calls and smses!! paiseh paiseh!! i buy u drink next time k? and also to erjie who was so concerned for me that she was like if got anything you call me k? love her.. she's really my sister..

yep.. jus finished writing something for gary and sent the dance group pic to matt alr.. i tink i shall do my readings tmr.. my FIRST readings for this sem.. -gasp- i hope i can still understand English the way it shld be understood.. heh heh! tmr's zapping and book buying day.. whee.. exciting.. =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/14/2006 11:49:00 PM .

title: my God is faithful!

and yep.. tt's even when i'm faith-less.. and i've been going on all day abt how i feel like i've jus come to know Christ all over again.. its like i'm jus feeling His reality once more.. and its really so cool!

a NEW creation you might say.. and woah.. its one exciting ride. i'm jus praying and asking Him for stuff and poof, it all comes.. it really really feels so good to be in constant communion with Him and to jus know that He's there and that i'm right with Him. it really brings peace into my soul. WOW!

how i got thru today, i can only say its by God's grace. i've been sleeping at 2am and rising early the past 3 days and yep.. i can't wait to sleep!!! BUT.. todya's been jus awesome! He brought me thru CW duty (and boy was it good! u can tell that the kids were really listening n tuning in lo.. we split the class today.. and it worked! so yay!) and He brought e entire team thru drama (today was our first ever show! and i could jus hear Him telling me and assuring me that He's great and mighty enough to carry it thru.. and it did! also for worship.. the songs were so simple but yet so powerful. its like i'm jus sensitive to eveyr single word and meaning behind it.. its so so so beautiful! i'm excited!) and then He brought me back just right on time for KB even after sending mark off and i managed to help esther with the lesson and all (the kids were real good today.. and i tink they had fun.. so yep!).

uh huh.. i tink my God is ever gracious... and ever faithful! even when i'm so ungracious and unfaithful so many many times. i'm so glad i'm here at this stage of my r/s with Him now.. i jus wanna spend every moment with Him and testify of His goodness right now..

tmr... a fresh start to school and everything else. FRESH, NEW, WHOLE. He is my stronghold, my rock and my refuge!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/13/2006 10:54:00 PM .

alright..i miss him.. hahaha and tt's even after we spent like more than half the day together ytd. but den again.. maybe tt's why.. hmmm..

ytd was an awesome day out! and i realize how blessed i am. first stop was auntie margaret's place.. and she cooked macaroni soup!!!!! yuuuummmyyyy.. i super long never eat marcaroni alr lo.. wahaha.. so ytd was super super shiok to jus taste it again. and somemore she put chicken slices and veggie and all in.. usually i jus hv my macaroni plain.. and well.. while i dun mind most of the time.. its really nice to hv stuff in it for a change.. heh! and cheese isnt' included.. i tink i've bought in to the pasta culture way too much now..

couldn't stay long at her place tho.. cuz i was supposed to meet josh at dhoby ghaut at like 230 where we had a tight tight time of 240 to get to the cinema. wanted to watch lake hse but in the end we didn't and ended up watching click. lemme tell you.. click's a pretty good show! so go catch it ya? quite predictable but.. hmm cried quite a bit at some parts.. so yep.. so watch.. think stepford wives =) yep.. its that kinda pattern one. but heh.. u know wad the silly boy did? (meaning josh) he actually bought lakehse tix.. BUT cuz it was front row and he didn't tell me that he alr bought em (he asked if front row was alright and silly me thot tt he haven bought the tix yet la..) and i jus mentioned tt if front row, we shld prob jus try for another show la. grrr.. and he'd alr bought the tix! aiyooh.. i v xing1 teng2 for him.. cuz its like so waste $$ plus i tink he rushed to get tix but too bad la.. national day is like this lo.. and den he refused to use the tix cuz he said.. let's jus go to cathay and see wad we can get lo.. -hugs- you're SO sweeeeet!!

so yep.. tt's how we ended up watching click.. with nachos in hand cuz i had this weird craving (ohh.. okay.. it was greed) for nachos.. and he bought!!! arrrrr... he's spoiling me! >.< and ohh.. i forgot to mention.. tt he surprised me wif flowers at the mrt there.. he was jus standing there with his hands behind his back and den pop went the flowers.. and i was jus like.. woaaaaaah.. but i didn't get to 'enjoy' em cuz i was still flustered then.. but when i had the chance to sit down and breathe after we got our tix.. i jus looked at em and well.. sigh.. i love flowers... and i love the person who gave em to me. heh heh! blue roses!!!! -beams widely-

oh.. heh! towards e end of the show erjie and ting called me.. hhaha and for a moment there i had this paranoid feeling that they were like jus behind me in the cinema somehow.. don't ask me why but maybe i've been 'crept up' upon one too many times.. hahaha! but i love those girls.. so yep.. call me anytime babes! jus tt i might reject and den call u back later la.. hahah but yeah! got to meet up wif em.. and it was jus so so nice to talk to em again.. its been so long.. i miss em!! and of cuz all e other swappies la.. i never knew how attached i was to em until this yr.. like.. wow.. they're my frens.. my community at NUS.. and they're wad make me tick.. =)

went to try this new jap dessert place with the 3 of em (josh, ting, erjie) and yep.. as usual, josh picked up the tab.. not before i struggled wif him to foot the bill tho.. heh! but not too bad la.. quite good concepts for the food.. one day i bring u all k? marina sq one.. =) he wanted to bring me there cuz he knows i LOOOOVE desserts and all things sweet.. so heh! not bad ar..

den afterwards we both went off to kallang la. ting and erjie had their own respective activities tho they asked us whether we wanted to join em. but i knew josh had his plans la.. so dun ruin it lo =) heh! and wow.. it was super super nice lo.. we somehow managed to find our way to this place that he and his parents visited once.. to see the fireworks. actually its a firework 'debris' area where all the stuff falls to after you see the wham-bam-alacazams. and it was awesome! jus beautiful!

now, for someone who doesn't like fireworks displays personally.. the fireworks that nite were jus so brilliant and so WOW.. i mean.. words can't describe the moment there and then.. but its was jus awesome.. n i've never enjoyed fireworks tt much before =) maybe it was the company too eh? heh heh.. =P

but after tt.. heh! was a loooooooong hike to somewhere (at that point of time i didn't know) but we were headed towards indoor stadium la.. and i tell you.. i really dun like tt place. its jus crowded and out of the way and the only times i'm there.. its always crowded.. and yes.. out of the way. so yep.. i was a lil cranky abt tt.. (sometimes i wonder how he can stand me.. gosh) but yep.. we got there and jus settled along the kallang river and we jus talked and talked and talked.. was super nice la.. later on den we decided to head over to suntec for some munch time.. the boy didn't want to eat anything till i was hungry and thing is.. i wasn't ever hungry.. its jus one of those times where you can eat if you wanted to, but its jus not some strong ravenous force propelling you towards morsels of food or something.. hahha! =) so yep.. we had dinner pretty late an di was a tad concerned abt his stomach.. gastric lo.. haii.. thank God he was alright.. and after tt headed over to his place lo..

and his mum was so so sweet.. she actually baked a cake for me and my family! can you believe it??? gosh.. when i told my mum.. first thing she replied over sms was.. 'waaa... your future very bright' and i'm like.. heeeeeh... God's favour la hor? =) thank God for that.. and mark came over too! cuz there's no other time we can meet him lo and he's flying off!!!! THIS SUNDAY!! -wails- maaaaaark.. -sniff sniff- but well.. at least we got to catch up and see him last nite at josh's place.. where the guys were all classy and sipped on wine while they talked.. i couldn't take one bit of it.. heh! i tink i'm super alcohol intolerant la.. and josh is amazed and amused at the same time tt i gulped a sip of absolute vodka-peach down one nite.. and i didn't even know wad i was setting myself up for.. haiyoooh.. so yep.. i'm alcohol intolerant.. couldn't even take the smell.. i used to be able to lo.. to at least enjoy e smell i tink.. but now.. its jus.. urgh.. i'm sorry dear... i know how much u love your wine-connoisseur moments.. but heh.. =)

so yep.. aweseom awesome day out! hahaha and this has probably resulted in me jus being all spoilt now.. heh! i've actually a lot of 'work' to do.. heh.. sooooooooo i hope i can finish it all sooon!

tmr meeting WE for k-ok, dimsum and prob fireworks after it all. today met up wif becky too.. Finally! and we had a super good chat.. i jus feel so encouraged and uplifted by her words. its like she jus spoke so much into my life and i feel refreshed and revitalised by it all. and i tink i've got my vision back with regards to wad i shld be doing and all. yep yep.. nothing but God's word for me!!! fellowship is reaaaally impt cuz iron sharpens iron.. and woah.. i've nv seen that ever more so clearly. day of his power on tues was also awesome.. i'll admit that initially i was pretty reluctant to go cuz i was tired and all.. and well.. when i'm tired i dun like to be at prayer meets cuz i'll jus tend to zone out and snooze off.. when i shld be giving my best. but tues was SOOOO good. i stepped in and i was jus drinking in God's presence as we worshipped and prayed. it was really where God was.. and i jus knew that I really cannot deprive myself of Him no more.. NO MORE i tell ya.. =) and yep.. i've found my purpose and my vision.. i won't say totally.. but well..its getting there.. and i'm glad.. yep! praise e Lord!

i find now ever more that its soooo impt to jus wait on the Lord and spend time wif Him.. something i haven been doing in a while.. so yep.. i'm trying to start it again.. and today's jus boot-started me off.. yay!!!!!!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/11/2006 12:06:00 AM .

before.. the hope of internet looms near.. i took this pic and showed the lady at the tech shop to make sure that i was gonna get the right cable. but lo and behold.. correct cable.. loose port.. and so i unscrewed the thinglo.. couldn't reach in with my fingers..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/08/2006 02:12:00 PM .

ta-daaaaaa! look at the pretty pretty fishy coaster (if u're wondering, the placemats and the coasters came in a set) and the lan port/cable thingie.. can u see the copious amt of scotch tape tt i've used?? hahaha

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/08/2006 02:11:00 PM .

wire/leg space underneath the table.. pretty alright eh?

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/08/2006 02:10:00 PM .

this is my desk.. whee! with my 'karina' frame right in the middle of the board, 2 posters beside it, and yep.. my printer! woohoo.. plus all the essential stuff i need. welcome to my life.. heh!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/08/2006 02:09:00 PM .

my bed! such a girlygirl colour combi eh? i liiiike.. and the daily prayer poster beside the bed was pasted by josh, heh! so tt when i turn the first thing i see is it. great poster tho.. really very honest and sometg i would pray..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/08/2006 02:08:00 PM .

this is my room, window with the nice funky fishy placemats so that the dust doesn't get in so much thru the vents. the cupboards are well.. jus there =) a whole lot of storage space ya? heh heh..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/08/2006 02:07:00 PM .

the entry below was typed in the morning at abt 11 i tink.. heh! when i didn't have internet in my room. and well.. let me jus shout it out here.. I HAVE INTERNET!! AND I'M SUPER SUPER SUPER HAPPY!! gosh i never knew i needed internet so much before. now i feel 'complete'.. -beams- and my matric card is gonna be activated by today! YAYs.. (for more on tt, read the entry below).

But anyways, i'm proud of myself cuz i managed to buy the lan cable and the person gave me the right length - 3m and when i found out that the silly port was loose and i couldn't plug in the cable properly, i went down to get a screwdriver from the counter staff and unscrewed the darn thing and now there's a pretty coaster plastered over the gaping hole where the initial socket is.. cuz i dun tink i have the skill to fix everything back in the port's usual springy condition.. yep.. hahaha!

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Title: first entry away at a home away from home..

Or at least, as home as I’ve been trying to make it =) I’ll admit that it still takes considerable getting used to living away from home and jus being on ur own. I tink when my sis, mum, pan, alvin, uncle simon they all left on Sunday, I actually felt a twinge of sadness.. I’m just glad that josh was with me.

Ytd jie and mummy came over to help me move more stuff in.. so praise the Lord! I have a printer now.. only thing is I dun hv wireless access at my hostel, the signal’s really low.. so I’m gonna head out later to buy a lan cable so I can breeze easy thru the worldwideweb.. heh!
And I’ve gotta say that last nite was a real test of faith for me.. and it was only the first nite here!! Okay.. wad happened is that now my matric card hasn’t been activated yet for access into the building itself. Apparently the machine/system that does it is down.. so I’ve gotta wait a bit. And last nite I went for dance so of cuz I’ll be back late rite? I was reaaal afraid that I’d get locked out.. but I jus kept praying and somehow I knew that this was one of those moments where I really had to trust God.. and praise the Lord.. He really doesn’t know how to fail. I managed to get in alright.. and well.. with a lil bit of teasing/commenting from the residential assistants there. Hai.. they’re jus being cheeky and all la.. I was jus too glad that I was in the building that I jus sailed right past and went to my room.. HOME.

It was such a relief I tell you.. to be able to get back. In fact, I was all packed up to go home.. can you imagine? Cuz I really didn’t know whether I could get back in at all lo.. and both mummy and josh were so sweet.. mummy said that if I needed to get back, to take a cab home and josh actually stayed up till I was alright so tt if anything I could give him a call and all. I really thank God for angels like em.. I mean.. if anything can be learnt from all this moving in and out, is that I’m really weak on my own and that there are people arn me who love me so much and it jus makes me feel so blessed I wanna do something to make it up to em.. but I know that it can never be enough.. so.. I LOVE YOU ALL!!

Yep yep.. riding on His grace and His faithfulness…

I’m glad that dance kinda gave me back that sense of normalcy too last nite. Who’d have thot rite? But I guess it was jus the general feeling of beign displaced that I felt so odd/terrible last nite. Like I was so so groggy and tired out even tho I didn’t do much for the moving in process. While I was sleeping away, my sis and mum were like setting up the flask, the printer, arranging my stuff, cleaning the floor.. and what was I doing? Sleeping. Gosh.. I’m really wondering why I was so tired. Lack of sleep? But yeah.. before I left for dance I jus coulnd’t bring myself to focus and to talk or anything.. was jus terrible. And when I ate my pau.. gosh.. no appetite lo.. its jus eating for the sake of eating and den I drank too much water and I felt like ugh.. shldn’t have done tt.. blah.. but ya.. dance somehow brought me back..and yep..t hank God for that.. =) it was a fun time.. and I’m glad that now I dun hv to wait so long for my bath.. hahah! Bathing was an awesome experience!! Hahaha okay now tt sounds wrong.. but it was nice to be able to bathe and like.. not have it in camp-like conditions.. hahahah most of u guys know wad I mean rite? There’s a biiiiig difference bathing at home and at camp AWAY from home rite? But last nite here was pretty alright. Heheh..

So I’m finally kinda getting used to life here.. its nice and peaceful.. I’ve got a good view.. and the weather’s nice today. Last nite it rained.. so maybe tt explains the cool weather. Jus need to get some nice curtains now cuz hahah I want my privacy ya? I dun fancy my neighbour having lil’ snippets of my life right in his/her face thru my window. Hahaha and I was thinking last nite.. actually thank God there’s at least phone reception in this place.. I tink tt’s way more impt than having wireless connection.. and also.. that we didn’t hv to clean out gunk from the windows when I moved in.. phew! Things were actually in pretty spanking condition, if I might say.. jus a lil grimy and dirty in places I guess. But tt’s all changed now.. heh!

And interesting point is….. I got woken up by a bird today.. at my window!!! Hhaha guess that’s something I need to get used to.. hahahaha =)

Okie dokie.. gonna head out to arts to buy my school supplies and check out the lan cables too.. thank God for josh.. hahaha and his knowledge in IT of cuz.. cuz he confirmed that ineeded a lan cable and that I needed to check the proxy settings and all.. hahah =) whee! I have a smart boyfren… hahahah

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/08/2006 01:45:00 PM .

title: ahhh.. now i remember...

hahah was running thru the lists of things to do in my mind and i realized that i forgot to BLOG! wahaah so here i am .. back on the keyboard at home, rattling and rambling on once more. the past few weeks were filled up.. so heh! cannot blog lo..

last day aka friday was actually pretty sad for me.. and i tink i was on the verge of tears when i hugged alanna and ivy goodbye.. and i know.. silly cuz i'll actually still be able to see em.. but.. its jus tt.. well.. working there has jus been so so good lo.. and i realy thank God for eveyrthing.. really.. EVERYTHING about work.. the timing and actual placement of me working in Youth Div, the people.. i've jus been so so blessed.. and of cuz thanks to the wonderful pp there.. where Boho Corner is and where the more serious officers are la.. but heh! they're funky pp too eh.. =) so here's to julian, kenny, elaine, samanatha, alanna-na, ivy, fiane and andrea who made life soooo cool and so fun working there.. i tink i've really learnt so much and i'm so glad that this first 'actual' working experience turned out so well. i was half afraid actually when i started that thigns would prove too overwhelming for me and i'd jus quit after 1 week.. but hey.. look at me! close to 3 months! and wad a wonderful time those 3 months were :) everyone was so so sweet.. and kenny gave me a farewell lunch treat @ the Vines.. super nice! go and eat!! =) and they did up this nacho libre inspired farewell card for me.. thanks to the superb photoshopping skills of julian.. got a blog entry dedicated to me.. hahaha and of cuz the podcast with the cheesy/funky dancing queen song (looks like everybody sees me as dance-crazy now.. hahaha! which might be true!) and wad was cool too was this lil testimony that i got from the division.. thank you uncle joojoo for writing such a nice piece for me! hahaha if i do nab that dream job.. its all thanks to whta you wrote and of cuz to EVERYBODY for the opportunities that i got while working for Youth.SG =) love you guys loads! and i'll always remember the times i had there..

and know wad? carol from o school has also decided to send me a membership card for o school to thank me for writing that article for em.. and i mean.. its really such a blessing la! cuz i wanted to write the article (my interest ma) and i got the free class while i was at it.. and now i have free membership? its jus WAY too COOL! and i tink God loves me a lot a lot..

net on saturday was awesome too! we had a whole lot of sharing and as the lesson was on prayer.. i tink we really stepped it up one notch and jus flowed in the Spirit and bonded over tears (yep) and laughter.. honestly. it was such an awesome time when i saw my net members all step up to the plate and we all jus came together as one unit.. one family.. one body.. ministering and caring fo reach other.. i really love em so so much adn i jus wish i could pour out so much more of my life into them.. i really tink they're worth it.. and i have big big dreams for em! wow.. now is this how God thinks towards us always? cool!! =)

moved in ytd to my room too =) thank God for my mummy (she really did a lot of packing for me and i really wouldn't have been able to consolidate so much of my stuff if i'd have done this on my own.. i love u mummy!! tho u prob wont' read this.. but heh.. i really appreciate her so much for allt he sacrifices and love that she's poured into our lives.. we're all imperfect i guess and sometimes i feel so bad for being so mean to her.. but but.. i LOVE her!! -big hugs-) and uncle simon too who manged to get the car for our stuff.. for panpan who pushed her tuition so she coudl come and help but anyways her kid cancelled tuition.. so i'm kinda glad she managed to get rest before coming to heave-ho =) love her! she's always been there for me when i've needed her most.. and to jiejie (I LOVE YOU super super much! cuz you're the only sister i've got an di wouldn't want any other! i tink u're gonna be the person i miss the most when i officially stay there. .and thank you thank you for always being there for me and giving me the hugs when i hum-bao aka crybaby) to alvin for availing himself and getting the car down.. phwah! if no car ar.. i dun tink we would've made it as easily.. hee!

and.... to josh!! who's really really been blessing me so so much by his presence, jus his being there and loving me for who i am.. ytd he rushed down from his stuff jus to help me move and it was so so much to see him interact so well wif my family and frens.. at least the pp who were impt to me lo.. -big hugs- love u!!

ytd also was super blessed by shaun who drove me home.. yes.. he actually sent me to my place! thank you so so much dude! and thanks for hearing me out.. i tink u're a real good fren and yeah.. i had a super good time at wan-tsin's 21st party cum farewell.. i tink i'm very blessed to be surrounded by pp who don't backstab me and who really like me for who i am =) and her dog is SO cute! sparky!!!! =)

i tink i'm jus soooooooo blessed by everyone tt's arn me.. and its really God's grace tt's getting us thru it all.. everybody.. thank you SO much for you jus being there adn being u.. thank you for offering your help and ur support.. (yes uncle wee ngee.. ur call ytd is counted too..thank you!!) and yep.. i dunno wad to say le.. its jus thank you in every sense of the word... =)

gonna be moving more stuff over today.. and staying ove rtonite.. heh! guess i'll blog from school/home later den.. =) love u all!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/07/2006 11:53:00 AM .

title: updates updates!! read all about it..

haaa.. alright.. i know i've been updating super super sporadically and i realize that my previous post before the most recent one was about a week plusplus ago.. paiseh laaa.. alot of things have been happening and well.. for those in the know... i guess its taken a bigger toll on me than i expected and of cuz.. there's the usual busy-ness and all.. heh! =) but i'm still loving everything i'm doing..

but anyways.. something interesting.. karinana got stuck in the lift yesterday... jus as she was heading out for her farewell lunch.. very very kindly put together by kenny and the rest at boho corner. i jus thank God that we (that is, kenny, alannanana and myself) were pretty near the 1st floor when the suspension jus boing-ed us up and down.. gosh.. but honestly.. i didn't panic much..haha maybe it was the company and perhaps it really was because the lights and the ventilation were still going =) i tink the only 'gripe' i had abt the experience were that there was way too many pp and all i was thinking was that if they took an eternity to get us out.. where were we gonna sit? okaaay.. i know.. lazy rite? crisis also still wanna complain.. but heeeey... =) anyways the security pp 'rescued' us and really thank God somebody had a signal near the door (there usually isn't any) and wow.. i reeaaally think things could've been a whole lot worser. it was interseting tho.. cuz i've never gotten stuck in the lift before! and i dun tink i would've wanted to be stuck with anybody else la.. hahah i mean.. with alanna and kenny.. wad can go wrong man? hahaha and i tink its evil to wish tt the rest of boho corner were in the lift together but i tink we could've done pretty well being stuck in the lift together.. hahaha prob would entertain ourselves somehow..

and oh.. i've got pics! hahah will be posting on the Youth.SG blogs soon abt it.. so maybe afterwards den i'll upload stuff and all la.. hahaha true blue journalist rite? first thing i thot of when we got stuck was to snap pictures :)

when i told my mum last nite abt this she jus mentioned about how tt the nite before i almost got stuck in the toilet and now i get stuck in the lift. hahahah! and u know wad? if she didn't mention it, i woudln't have noticed the 'pattern'. wahahahaha but anyways.. YES.. i was almost stuck in my toilet.. MY HOUSE toilet mind you.. gosh.. ahhaah! =) but good ol' dad came to my rescue and released me from my dungeon. i guess i could've squeezed out if i wanted to, but well.. i wanted to see how i could slide the door and all since i certainly won't be the last person using the toilet wif our faulty sliding door. amusing thing was that my dad unhinged the thing and den i almost immediately thot of us having to move the door,, literally.. as in shift it arn when we use the loo.. ahhaha quite a funny thot esp when u're tinking about it at 1am in the morning.. hahahah!

so i've been stuck in places for 2 days in a row.. and i've managed to get out pretty okay.. oh oh.. did i mention tt for the lift one, we had to 'jump' off the lift cuz the thing was halfway between floors so we could only see the bottom half of the world from where we were standing in the lift.. and yep.. we hopped out la.. both me and alanna were going 'just when we're wearing skirts -rolls eyes-' hahahah.. so yep.. amusing day.. =)

will put up something about youth.sg soon now tt my final moments (well.. alright.. final day) is finally here in its finality (hahaha don't u jus love the 'final'ness of it all? heh! okay lame.. i'm getting tt a lot these days) but yep.. another post la hor.. enough excitement for one post le.. heh!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/04/2006 10:46:00 AM .

title: its CHLOEEEE daaaaay!! (edit: the pictures have been taken out cuz i'm jus toooo irritated to continue to try.. hahaha will put the link and go home and use 'hello' to upload.. oh sighs)

written on: 2nd Aug
ytd was jus awesome la! went out with WE finally, like in a million million years. it was so nice to meet up wif em after the long 3 months since our munchies/blading outing. and i MISS em! of cuz.. we started our day with the usual makan @ Gelare (heh! this is turning out to be our group hangout - we went there for our 'project meeting' but ended up jus pigging out.. haaa.. such piggies we are!) but yeah.. it was interesting cuz somehow.. hoho, tantan n uncle were all togged out in YELLOW!

and darn.. forgot to take pictures of the lovely lovely waffles (half price!) and our ice creams.. tried apple pie crunch.. not bad eh.. shld try the next time ya? :)

but afterwards we adjourned to see our miss chloe chng! who's got a chinese name now by the way.. but its so so so complicated.. it gives my brain cramps jus thinking abt how to write it.. wahahah! and this babe is turning 1 .. TMR! the princess is babbling loads now and she jus said 'bird' ytd! hahaah sweeetie!

we met brent too! according to tantan, he's chloe's distant cousin.. heh!! we had this pic of her doing the head-butt with her granddad, and of cuz.. of her being her cute lil self and the later ones are where she's having a ball jus playing at the playground downstairs. WE love CHLOE!

i'm jus so blessed by this group of pp tt i've met like one year ago? i'm reaaaaally so so so blessed and i was so touched by how they responded to me when i broke the news to em.. i mean.. they're really loving responses lo and these can only come when pp truly care abt u and are your frens.. i was really quite moved by their offers to help me move in wor.. and it did make me tink to myself too.. something i realized abt myself.. tt i dun really ask pp for help much.. and i guess tt translates to my walk with God sometimes too... baaaad.. but recently, i've been really challenged to up my prayer life and to jus be bold and ask God for what i need.. cuz i know i'll get it!! yeaaaaah..

so yep.. i love you WE!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 8/02/2006 02:16:00 PM .