Love, or Pride?

title: i'm too used to open-bk exams...

hahaha i jus printed out this test paper solution thingie that HCL put up on the ivle.. and it was only after printing out the solutions that i realize that i can't bring this into the exam hall with me anyways.. wahahha!

and tanny and xuanny!! :D i finally realized why he gave us marks for the last qn even tho we didn't get it right. so to speak.. it was cuz..... i tink the questions was ambiguous and a lot of us answered it that way.. hence.. the marks.. wahahah! jiat lat oh... HCL must be telling himself that it's it's 'fault' or something tt we're all scraping thru 3203.. heh..

anyways.. jus tried to do 4252 paper.. okay la.. do-able.. somehow i feel i need to get acquainted with the theories a bit more.. but heh.. like how? its open book and reading the notes won't make me any smarter.. so hmm.. maybe i'll read the readigns ba =)

and YAAAY. i'm finally done with nm studying.. cuz i forsee a busy weekend/week.. soooooo advanced studying la.. and yep.. trying to finish up studying by tonite.. cuz tmr i'm going over to ntu.. yesh i am.. to find daphne and start dancing in her recording studio.. heh! this is crazy la.. but oh well.. bo bian.. =)

was telling tanny (ooh.. alright.. i'll call u cheryl) .. so was telling cheryl jus now that i feel so unmotivated to do my exams this time round.. and i wonder why.. heh.. this is baaaad la.. cuz i tink i have quite a good chance of pulling up my cap if i would only work harder than this! grr..its irritating to know tt i'm such a bum right now.. super critical moment.. and honestly.. i can't really get cda out of my mind.. u know.. the fact that i didn't really use the notes to write my analysis.. gargh.. now i'm wondering if i shld've included stuff like transitivity in it.. i mean.. was i too brief??? gaaargh.. pls pls pls let my answer have been 'point-full' to prof chng..

hmm.. and now the thot hits me.. exam very important meh?

-flails arms in the air- the dilemma!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/30/2006 07:48:00 PM .

title: good lunch.. mmmmm...

nothing beats having a good lunch.. honestly.. well.. nothing beats having a good meal la.. but heh! i tink having good lunches are swell.. cuz u hv the entire day to get rid of the 'full' feeling which will make u feel terrible if it happens at night after dinner.. heh! got more time to digest ma... and having a good lunch makes u feel happy cuz u ate healthily.. like no more bread/buns/cakes/curry puffs.. but good ol' rice, veggies and meat! yum! =) and i'm proud to have kept this up for the past 2 days.. wahahah.. i tink i shld really make this a habit.. cuz it keeps me off snacking cuz i'm sooo full from lunch.. gahahahah..

anyways.. thinking of colouring/highlighting my hair.. but now is jus when and where and for wad price.. heh! and before all my ol' buddies say "agaaaain?!" erhem.. i haven't done much colour to my hair close to a year now.. the last time being that of dying it black.. so yesh.. that doesn't count!! :D i'm gonna give it a new 'punk' look to it.. and well. let my inner ah-lian out..heh heh heh.. jus hope i dun get beaten on the streets with my new hair or something la.. heh! it's been a while since i last got inspiration for wad i do to my hair.. i used to get those pretty often u know! which is why mum sometimes says i shld go and quit my studies and be a hairdresser instead.. hahahhah! we'll see how la hor? :D wahahhahahaha..

i'm excited though.. at how it'll all turn out.. now to decide on a time.. hmm.. i feel like going home today.. but i tink i'll prob do tt tmr la.. den when i do tt.. i'll go to the hair stylists near my place and yep.. hopefully go and get the colours i want.. heh! today.. well.. i'll jus study i guess.. =) or rather.. try to.. i've been trying to study for nm.. and well.. i find myself stoning at my notes a whole lot more..and i'm almost done anyways.. jus need to meet parvin later so i can get the notes from her and photocopy em.. meanwhile.. i'll prob work on Interactional discourse.. coming up on monday!!! -flails arms-

december's gonna be packed tho.. right after exams i've got like camps.. almost back-to-back.. woohoo! looking forward to em!! :D

alriteys.. more updates later!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/30/2006 02:08:00 PM .

title: would you want to see Jesus?

haa.. thought provoking title eh? well i jus happened to be waiting for my turn to draw some money fr the atm when i noticed this 'optical illusion' thing on the side - well actually ive always noticed it whenever i'm drawing money but i jus didn't remember it to be there somehow.. but yesh.. anyways.. its one of those images that u gotta stare at for a few seconds and when u look up.. voila.. u see the image of Jesus' face..

alrite.. tt's kinda like the subject of this entry but it isn't in a way.

what suddenly occurred to me at that moment was.. hey.. actually.. having Jesus reveal Himself isn't really a hard thing.. i believe that if we ask.. He'll show Himself true and all

BUT (here it comes)

in seeing Jesus.. would tt make you believe in Him? would that make you hold fast to ur faith? if our belief is based only on what we see.. then when we don't see it.. does it mean that our belief crumbles? i tink it's pretty easy for that to happen.. i mean.. say you've always seen this person arn.. so okay.. u know that person exists.. but den.. the next few times.. u dun see the person anymore.. did seeing the person create a relationship with you? probably after those few times.. u'll kinda forget that you've always bumped into the person there and then. and if you reminisce over those moments.. chances are.. you've formed a bond/relationship with the person and tt took precedence over the mere 'sight' of the person in question.

i tink Jesus is pretty wise to not carelessly appear to millions of pp.. even tho that's wad most demand for.. cuz i guess.. sometimes it affects our walk.. its like hanging on to a relationship for the benefits rather than the person him/herself. can u imagine if millions base their faith jus cuz they saw Jesus.. sure.. they'd believe that He was real.. but beyond that.. something has to take place.. and i tink Jesus values the relationship built between you and Him more than the material processes that take place.

but of cuz.. i'm not saying that we all dun need encounters with Jesus.. i'm a firm believer in that.. i believe that as a healthy christian.. we all need our moments with Jesus.. moments so real that you know that He's right beside you.. and you can see His glory arn ya.. i know i've had mine :) and that makes Jesus all the more real and relevant to me.. but i know that if i based my walk with Him on those moments and experiences alone without believing and clinging on to the Hope that He gives.. i know my walk with God would've died many many times over and many many years ago.. a balance needs to be struck.. between experiencing Him in the Spirit and believing in Him in the Truth.. like what it's said in the Bible.. worshipping Him in Spirit and in Truth.. John 4:23-24. Yep!

so yeah.. let's see Jesus.. encounter Him.. ask to see Him cuz i know that He won't disappoint.. nothing's too difficult.. but He knows the condition of your heart and let's jus say that He's never too early nor too late.. He's always on time.. and sometimes.. the time might be to jus believe and build that relationship in faith so that what you have is solid ground on which you stand. :) [check out Matt 7:24-27]

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/29/2006 12:51:00 PM .

D.A.N.C.E on 25th Nov 2006.. J.Crew!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/28/2006 05:49:00 PM .

me and papa

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/28/2006 05:41:00 PM .

my daddy!! :D

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/28/2006 05:24:00 PM .

i like this shot of mummy.. and yep.. we were at vivocity last tues! (it's been a week.. heh!)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/28/2006 05:18:00 PM .

but before that we were and swenson's and this is the beautiful view from there! :P

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/28/2006 05:18:00 PM .

this was dinner for the nite.. queued up quite a bit.. but it was GOOD.. i finished up the whole thing.. can u imagine!?

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/28/2006 05:17:00 PM .

eating at food republic was such a cool experience! it was done up like how sg was like in the 50s.. coolness!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/28/2006 05:16:00 PM .

mummy!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/28/2006 05:13:00 PM .

some artistic looking pic i took that day

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/28/2006 05:12:00 PM .

this is wad came out of 7-11.. snack of the moment is the 'Muzic' one which i was cravign for before the paper.. wahahah

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/28/2006 05:04:00 PM .

title: it's been a whopping week! first paper down

woaaaah.. didn't realize that i haven't blogged in eons! oh gosh.. considering that i used to blog more regularly than this.. this showing is disparaging.. haaa.. mommy.. does this mean i'm growing up? or rather out of the blogging habit/culture? or hmm.. does this mean that i'm keeping more things to myself.. or HAHA.. maybe i'm jus lazy.... :P dun tink i'll ever stop blogging totally tho.. writing's like my outlet.. i express myself best thru the written text somehow.. tho speaking is definitely faster.. but hmm.. typing's better for me..

anyways.. it's the first paper down!! CDA and honestly i feel like i'm gonna miss it.. heh.. cuz it's like that's the only CDA [hardcore] course i'll ever be taking in my uni life and the other one media discourse - similar to this - i've already taken.. so... does this mean goodbye???

hahah alrights.. i'm being a lil dramatic la.. but i'm quite glad its over also la.. and tt's the thing abt uni modules.. u do the exam and u're done with it forever.. unless of cuz.. u fail and u have to retake it again .. but in most cases.. if u're done.. u're done.. :) and tt's the wonderful ting abt uni.. cuz when i took CDA this sem.. i felt a lil bored with some of the concepts cuz in media discourse we touched on some lo.. but it was great taking the module with all my old friends and of cuz.. with the WE girls.. :D

and here they are!!

my lovelies! :D tanny.. the second from the left bought me loadsa munchies! (literally.. cuz the brand is munchy but ya. u get the point.. snacks la) and girl.. thank u SO much! me really really appreciate and touched by that gesture! heee.. but oh no!! now i'm SO gonna put on weight.. NOooOoOOo..

anyways.. today all the WE girls were down for CDA and we realized that tanny's a mugger.. hahah cuz she was remarking abt how happening our lives were.. heh! never saw my life as that way but yeah.. heh.. interesting.. and oh yesh.. we collected our sem and prag test/projects.

and i totally totally refused to go collect em before i went for CDA exam even though i was in the area like super early.. heh! nothing to do in hall ma.. so go there and try to study lo.. cuz i was feeling too guilty for not studying intensively throughout the week.. cuz i didn't know how to! its like.. it's open book and well.. if u know it u know it.. i didn't even refer to my notes at all when i did my exam. didn't even use the proper linguistic terms and all to describe the thing cuz the question jus didn't seem to ask for it! and hmmm... tt worries me.. but.. ar well.. its done and over with.. it's submitted to God.. and however it turns out.. well.. tt's how it is lo.. nothing i can do :) i did my best..

wad was cool was that before the exam.. some of the elang pp that i've kinda been thru modules with all jus congregated at the swaps table.. and it was nice! cuz i haven't talked to em much during the sem since i've been a part of WE and yeaaah.. i love elang pp! hahaha they're quirky and they're nice pp!! :D hahaha and we totally crackd ourselves up jus talking abt our lecturers and all.. hahahahaha a particular few in fact.. heh! good de-stressing time before the exams..

anyways.. gonna up load photos soon.. loadsa things happened over the week/weekend.. so yep.. enjoy the pics!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/28/2006 04:39:00 PM .

title: bleary eyed

read as: bleaaaaaaaaah-reeeey eyed.. and honestly.. i felt reaaally woozy in the afternoon today.. i tink from staring at the screen too much doing my final paper for negotiation class.. gargh.. plus all the brain juice that got sucked out in the process.. i tink tt contributed to the wooziness..

and i'm jus so sick of looking at it i jus submitted it on ivle.. heck the discrepancies and the blah-ness of it.. i'm jus handing it up.. i made the appropriate changes.. so yeah! tt's it from me.. if any changes more i'll jus make em later on before the deadline la.. heh!

study girl.. study! gosh.. i tink there's never been a time like this when i'm jus refusing to study.. big time.. ARRRGH...

feeling all weird inside......

hmmm...

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/24/2006 09:33:00 PM .

title: i wanna DANCE!

and i wanna dance like good! like super super super duper good.. and i jus wanna get my butt off my chair right now and take up some classes down at o school.. BUT.. my ankle's still no good and while i know that i prob can dance with it jus fine with only a twinge of acheyness.. i tink it isn't wise to damage my foot..

but i still wanna dance.. and i tink tt's prob a dream of mine.. to perform on stage and to jus dance! i mean.. when i see shows like step up and honey or you got served.. it's jus so so nice to see pp dance.. and it's so nice to be able to hit the moves when you try.. and i wanna be those kinda dancers that have the technique and the groove at the same time.. like.. not jus moving my body according to the rhythm or the 'steps' but to really feel the music and to execute the moves with the exact precision and emote the feel that's in the music/moves.

gosh.. i wonder if i can ever be like that.. and now that our dance ministry's kicked off at church.. it really interesting that i find myself pushing myself to be a better and better dancer.. and to jus keep on learning more... i'm so so thankful to God that eveyrthing's been going soooo well with this ministry and now we've got like super super many much pp.. and i've jus got an idea on how to work this out..but i'll have to ask daffy on this first.. heh! hope it works! but anwyays i feel like dancing and i wanna choreo something like wad's seen in step up.. u know the part where the girl and the guy are dancing a mix of lyrical and hiphop? yep.. tt! and marcus jus sent me a nice song.. so maybe we'll try working with tt soon.. heh!

wheee... 180 is in 5 days time!!! come and watch k? it's at yishun.. 530pm.. 25th nov.. come come come! you'll stand a chance to win a mp4 know? heh!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/20/2006 02:00:00 PM .

title: the day where i almost went... "Mr President...."

like for real!! but naaah.. couldn't get close enough la hor.. hahaha anyways.. today went to attend this talk that President Bush gave at the UCC under super super high security and because it was so confidential.. i couldn't let anybody know even tho i knew abt the day abt 3 weeks ago.. yep.. it was that top secret that even when we were informed that we were nominated by the faculty.. all that was released was that it was a top ranking US govt official coming to NUS.. and well.. that turned out to the George Bush! heh!

so the 'day' began with us all congregating at central forum at 3pm.. and GOSH.. that was only the beginning of the long and arduous wait till abt 4pm-ish when they finally started the high security checks before we were allowed into UCC.. i tink everyboyd must've been wondering why there was this whole bunch of smart-casual-ish dressed people gathering arn the forum area.. and well.. it was this!

as the event neared its start.. the ministers all started to arrive.. and man.. it was realy a gathering of the top guns of Singapore lo.. i mean.. SM Goh Chok Tong was there lo.. and wad was hilarious was that when he came in.. everybody was in shock and nobody knew whether to clap or not.. so it started as a giggle and den this group started clapping and so the whole hall followed suit.. and den he started waving his wave.. hahahah ;) and best part is.. i tink we prob portrayed ourselves as some patriotic society thingie.. cuz when sm goh emerged from the curtains (he went backstage to chat with pres bush i'm sure) we clapped for him again.. even tho laura bush came out first! now is that jus pure ignorance that we dunno who the rest are so we dun clap or that we're jus ardent fans of singapore? i couldn't help but tk about how the other country was viewing us.. part of china?? heh!

it was definitely interesting being part of 'history' so to speak.. (pun unintended) and i tell you.. CDA jus kicked in when Bush started speaking..i started to think about how he was dichotomising everything and phwah... it's political discourse in the making la! goodness.. this analysing is some occupational hazard i tink.. and i can only imagine what goes thru prof chng's mind when she sits thru speeches like tt.. heh! =) but yeaaah.. it was interesting being there.. when the minsters and bush came in it was like some air of authority jus swept thru the place.. it was odd but i suddenly felt like WOAH.. these guys are powerful man..

another thing that struck me was how the stage was decorated.. and maaan... look at the pics ba.. it was jus red and white and all things 'symbolic' of singapore.. but of cuz.. these thigns are super ideological la.. who's to say whad are singapore icons? and interestingly.. they used a peranakan styled house with the singapore flag above it.. and the motifs on the 'house' were i tink the flag and the orchid.. the other pic i couldn't quite make out.. so it jus occurred to me that wow.. so this is how singapore wants to represent itself to the world.. it was very interesting being in there.. and as much as i'm not much of a bush supporter.. it was eye-opening and definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience.. when i showed my mum the invite over video conference.. she was like.. who? george yeoh? OH MY GOSH.. george BUSH?! why pick u?!?!

wahahah .. so that was amusing.. heh! =) and well.. tt moment's over.. and i still haven't studied for tmr's test yet.. i'm jus tooo lazy.. and i need to revise my sem and prag paper.. i tink i'm super slack abt it la.. it's jus lying there.. blah.. got loadsa things to do tmr.. hope i can squeeze everyting in.. will prob meet WE a bit late since conexus is gonna meet after my class to submit our proposal and den prob hv lunch.. den i hv to run to lkyspp to submit my index card assignment.. and den it's off to vivo with WE and after that (yes.. there's more) i've got jon's bday party.. heh! not tt i'm complaining.. i jus wanna PLAY!! :P

this week's gone by in a blink of an eye.. but heh.. it's been pretty relaxing i must say.. went out with dawn, shereen and joshua(her bf) last nite shopping for their crop jackets.. heh! not a bad nite out.. totally de-stressed! heh heh.. it's nice to be out once in a while.. and i'm glad.. had meatball pasta from pastamania.. it's SUPER nice.. you guys must must must try it ya? heh! alright. i'd better get to work otherwisei 'll jus ramble n not get anything done.. heh... -sheepish grin-

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 09:01:00 PM .

woaaah.. wad a beautiful day.. woke up to this awesome sight.. and couldn't resist.. had to snap it! =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 09:00:00 PM .

and so i decided to dress up.. haa.. no la.. had to wear smart casual for this event today.. so wear this lo and jus felt hiao2 so take pic.. this was after the event anyway..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 08:59:00 PM .

this is the queue we had to get past.. one of the first 'security' checks we had to go thru in the course of the event. and we were incessantly reminded to flash out invites and matric cards.. haa.. it's kinda ingrained in my mind right now..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 08:58:00 PM .

so i got my invite .. and yep.. to attend "remarks by President George Bush"

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 08:56:00 PM .

check out all the security around UCC.. we saw gurkhas.. u know those pp who guard the intl borders. .yep.. they're the lean mean fighting machines.. HERE in NUS!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 08:56:00 PM .

gwen, darsh, me, yan ching, song ning.. outside at the foyer while waiting to go in.. heh! i love my phone!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 08:55:00 PM .

sorry ar.. didn't reposition.. but yep.. this was how they wanted to represent singapore with bush making his remarks in the middle.. yep.. singapore..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 08:53:00 PM .

song ning, yan ching, darsh and myself being cam-whores and jus snapping a pic of us against the SINGAPOREAN backdrop..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 08:53:00 PM .

me n darsh in e ucc hall.. so glad she went for this thing too.. couldn't hv asked for better company =)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 08:52:00 PM .

check out all the media (intl and local) coverage this event got.. allllll the big 'guns' literally.. heh!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 08:50:00 PM .

spot president bush.. haa.. alright alright.. he's the 'head' facing us near the bottom.. couldn't get a better shot..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 08:50:00 PM .

the burly bodyguards.. looks like some shot on tv eh?

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 08:49:00 PM .

check out the invite from the embassy.. it's so phwoaaaah... my mum got a shock.. hahah like George W. Bush?!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 08:48:00 PM .

title: the end of the week is near...

... and so do my term paper deadlines...

i'm actually jus wanting to submit all that i have right now.. good or bad.. wahahah tho i know i'll regret it big time if i do.. heh! =) but yaa.. is it jus me or is there only so many term papers one can do? and can u imagine at the end of ur uni life.. u look at ur portfolio of term papers.. phwaaah! can do and publish and become book alr.. "The Musings of _______" (insert own name into the blanks). if you do one term paper for each module.. tt makes 5 per sem.. and multiply that by at least 6 sems.. u have a grand total of.... 30 (THIRTY) academic papers! how cool rite? hahahah so we are all smart pp... heh!

anyways.. was feeling a tad frustrated over my NM proj.. not cuz of the pp.. they're awesome.. but with MS word! arrrrgh.. the formatting and all tt keeps messing up.. and gargh.. i tink there's only so many times you can correct the same mistake over and over again.. and for a 60+ page proposal.. GARGH.. can't wait for the project to be 'over' and jus packed up nicely.. submitted to raaj so it's finally OFF our hands.. i know we've all slogged so so hard for the project and i tink it's massive.. seriously.. u can jus carry out according to the instructions lo.. it's down to the smallest detail.. if i'm lenovo i'd jus pick even one of the events out and i know i'll get it done..

wahahah okay.. so tt's project/group pride for you.. but it's true k?! no joke leh.. the presentation was A+++ quality lo.. and i cannot imagine the number of sleepless nites some of em put in to get that done.. and wad's interesting now is that i'm not even thinking that we'll fail the mod.. like get a crappy grade or something cuz i tink even if we're terrible (which i tink we're not) we'll like get a good grade for sheer effort lo.. it's like one big thesis la!

speaking of thesis... i jus read nydia's blog and it suddenly occurred to me that isms seem a lil tough.. cuz they're.. well.. like mini theses on their own.. and everybody i know that's taking an ism is like frus-ing over it and feeling jolly relieved when it's all handed up.. i mean.. gosh.. it sounds like an awfully large load to take.. but i know that with God by my side.. everything's A-OKAY! and gosh.. God's been simply awesome.. got back my cda paper ytd and all i can say is that.. WOAH.. it's definitely God.. and i'm terribly pleased about the result... :D

anyways... one more day...jus... one... more day.. and i'll be done with schoolwork for this sem.. it'll be time to hit the books den.. heh! wonder how different will it be now that i'm living on campus.. hmmm.. do i bring back my books to study? wad? :D

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/16/2006 12:56:00 PM .

when i do start blogging.. i blog relatively regularly.. as compared to my moments of inactivity. heh! so anyways here's a summary of wad i did today.. thot it was quite fruitful and it was cool cuz its prob the first time i've been able to stay out of my room and get good work done.. heh heh! did the PR timeline-recommendations thingie and edited the report.. woohoo! we're almost good to go.. yaaay! not that i didn't enjoy doing the proj.. but i tink it's gone on for a bit too long and my brain's jus tired.. but i'd be reaaaaally thrilled if our proj got picked to be carried out for real.. cuz i tink it's real good lo.. like.. pp WILL come and participate in it oh!

another fruitful moment.. i've handed up my CDA paper!! -rejoices- and of cuz.. ytd handed up by ID one.. YAAAAY.. now i can breathe.. i tink those two papers were my babies.. like.. i jus wanted to do em well... and rion says my title for my ID paper was cheem.. hmm.. and u wonder how he managed to sneak a peek at that rite? hahaha he probably handed in his paper after mine.. haha =) steady lo.. so coincidental rite?

and me and nydia met up to collect our 5 pg drafts for our index cards where i saw some peculiar scribbles signalling to me that my lecturer and tutor see things a lil differently.. heh! but ar well.. all's good.. both of us got an A- so at least tt makes us heave a sigh of relief.. nerdish yes.. but hey.. who doesn't want a good grade on our papers?

nydia is SOOOO sweet! i love her! she bought me hershey's kiss-ables ytd when she passed me half her stack of index cards.. and she didn't even make me pay for em! -big big hugs- and i forgot to tell u girl.. heh.. i finished up the kiss-ables last nite.. like SUPER SUPER fast.. while watching 'so u tink you can dance'.. it slowly morphed into 'so u wan a fat belly' after i realized how much i'd consumed.. hahaha gosh..

but yesh.. i've accomplished much.. left the swaps table at abt 945ish? ting, sharon, darren and minrui were still there when i left.. i dunno how these pp do it man.. i'm the one staying in hall and even i feel tat it's waaaay too late to be out of my home.. hahaha =) hopefully those guys manage to catch the last bus home!

jus done with my sem and prag project.. i hope its alright! i didn't even quote/cite any works.. cuz hcl is like so so sui bian over the proj.. hopefully the novelty of the idea wins him over.. wahahaha! and its ten percent.. grr.. would've been five percent if pp had not voted for a higher weightage.. is it me or am i jus bo chup now eh? haa.. maybe i shld go and add some quotes in for finesse..

tmr.. i'll collect my invitation.. work on my index card and hopefully.. by thursday eveyrthing iwllb e done and completed.. ready to go.. AND i will study for my friday test.. after which.. it's chill out time - outing with WE after school.. jon's bday party at downtown east...xm's bday party there on sat...church on sunday.. woohoo! and the following week's reading week.. so yep yep.. =) will split my time equally at home and in school i tink.. heh!

la la la la.. i feel sooooo much lighter now.. and OH.. this book i'm reading.. super interesting.. it's called "Hell's best kept secret" -- wanna find out? read the book! whahahah

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/14/2006 11:28:00 PM .

alright.. i know i haven't been blogging much.. yet again.. heh! but honestly looking at the screen and typing away at academic papers doesn't do much for inspiration for a blog entry. heh!

anyways i'm glad that my papers are slowly slowly trickling away.. and i can hardly wait for the end of semester.. or rather.. for reading week to hit.. i'd prob be away at home in amk and yep.. i'm jus gonna chill out.. tho.. honestly school is more comfy.. but somehow being at home makes it feel more 'natural'. heh heh! i might stay in school a bit and den go back home on.. hmm.. thur or friday? ah well.. see how la.. =)

gonna hand up my cda paper later.. and den pick up my 5pg assignment from LKYSPP... and well.. i'm pretty free after that i tink... will prob work on my assignment.. and YESH.. study for my sem and prag test.. arrrgh.. i'm jus glad that i dun hv to do the presentation today.. yvonne and jon are doing it.. so yays.. tt's one thing off my back.. but i'll nee dto work on the report big time.. heh! :P

alrite.. it's off to work i go! -zoooooom-

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/14/2006 10:12:00 AM .

title: tired

zzZzzz.. slept at 4am last nite trying to get my ID essay done.. and gosh.. wad a torture it was.. i guess cuz i was trying to give a more interesting slant to the essay other than wad i presented in class.. but i turned out jus putting what i've 'discovered' abt my data into the essay cuz i guess i did get a very interesting section of data to analyse after all.. heh! so i jus stuck with it la.. and i managed to churn out an essay. but now i'm worried if i'm jus being too simple for a level 4000 mod.. like.. no std leh.. hmmm..

but many many thanks to all those who were msn-ing me and sms-ing me last nite.. i was in a super deep need of encourgement. i jus felt like whining and crying and running all the way back home.. and my dad called.. and i stressed out and got frustrated cuz things weren't getting better. when i'm emotional.. it's a bad time to talk to me.. i cry a lot.. i dun tink straight.. when i was abt to turn in tho.. i msged my dad and thanked him for calling.. cuz it did help a lil la.. even tho my emo moment totally negated it then.. and this morn when i woke up.. i saw his msg.. sent at 3.57am.. gosh.. was my dad up waiting with me?? tt's wad my daddy said he'd do.. and now i jus feel so bad for being mean and i jus wanna -big hug- my dad now.

*argh! typing too many essays get u in the habit of hitting Ctrl+S for 'Save'. i jus did that and my post got published without this even finishing.. heh!

but yeah.. this jus makes me realize how selfish i can get. i tink this sem. i'm learning loads abt myself.. abt how terrible i can be.. and i tink its good cuz i tend to get all high and mighty and stuff.. thinking that i know it all.. that i've seen it all and i'm all good. when in actual fact, i'm not. i tink God's revealing all these to me on purpose.. and i'm glad that it's Him tt's doing the revealing work and not someone else who's out to hurt me. i know and i'm confident that He loves me enough to do all these for a greater purpose in my life. thank You Dad above!

and while i was doing QT jus now..wondering abt why things don't seem to come as easily to me as it did before and it jus suddenly hit me that i'm on a journey over familiar ground. and i've seen how God has provided and been faithful when i've passed thru before. but now is when the path is worn down jus that bit more and i'm slowly beginning to feel the layers of stone that lie beneath.. and to me.. tt jus means that God's slowly teaching me to trust Him regardless of where i'm and what i'm going thru.. and man.. tt's jus not easy.. and i feel like one of the children of israel.. u know.. those pp who jus didn't trust God even tho He did a million and one things for em? yep.. i never knew it'd be so easy to fall out of trust with God and woah.. He jus opened my eyes to my own condition. humbling indeed.

in other news, glad to be able to make it out to meet my lil bro and sis.. Ian and Dawn! =) heh! almost couldn't make it cuz i was feeling ill ytd.. and actually still ill now.. but ya.. i'm gonna make it out no matter wad? these guys are jus awesome pp in my life n the least i can do is to move so i can meet em! rite? :) and they were so sweet abt it la.. saying that if i couldn't meet em.. i could do it another day.. but i'm so so glad i'm meeting em.. -beams- and later.. i'll prob be travelling back to tamp cuz of encounter training.. gotta leave early tho.. cuz tmr got class.. yep! so to encounter it is!! thinking of skipping NM tho.. it's so.. hmm.. boring? i mean.. it's nice to learn and find out stuff yeah.. but it's so commonsensical.. gargh.. and the project is causing me a lot of pain cuz i tink i'm jus not feeling the group gel together as nicely.. and yep.. tt's taking a toll on me..

maybe i'm jus a very solitary worker.. hmm.. but does that make me a bad team player? hmmmm

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/09/2006 11:07:00 AM .

title: i'm back!

wheeee! and you might ask, back from where? well.. i tink i'm back to me! =) and it took God to bring me back to who i really am. and i jus enjoyed myself so much this weekend, literally.

edge was awesome.. and really.. God spoke a word that was super timely.. and i'm so glad that He cares enough to speak to me in that moment and bring me back. i tink i've really been out of sorts/character the past 2 months.. and i'm jus glad that i'm back now.. that the 'me' i've always wanted to be is back.. -beams-

it's amazing wad unforgiveness can do to your heart.. when you let that bitter root grow in your life. and i'm jus glad that God's love makes me forgive people, forgive myself.. and of course, all because i'm forgiven!

i tink i was backsliden for a while.. and despite the negative connotations of that.. i'm jus gonna say it out now.. cuz i tink that even when i didn't tink i was backsliding, that fact that i wasn't moving fwd in my walk with God jus meant i was going backwards.. there's no such thing as staying still in your walk.. so yep.. and it took me to realize the horrible state i was in to kickstart me and to open my heart to His work in my life. i realize that i'd lost the love and the compassion for people.. something that'd propelled me all these yrs. being tired out from doing good and jus... tired esp with what's happened the past 3 months.. i guess it took a toll on me.. and yeah.. i was a broken person..

but now i am a new creation.. and tt's wad God says abt me! it's gonna take a lot of effort tho.. as i commit my heart towards serving Him and making Him my focal pt.. i'm gonna have to work hard on keeping my prayer life tuned up and having my priorities lined up straight! :) but gosh.. i'm so excited at what's gonna come! i know that God honours those who love Him.. and i'm excited!

oh.. jus found this really cool verse that blows you away when you think abt all the power God has..

Romans 11:36
For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.

it makes me wonder abt wad would happen if he chose to withhold his power fr eveyrthing that we know to be 'normal' abt the day.. like having the sun rise in the morning and set in the night.. or having the waters stay in their reservoirs.. u know..simple stuff like tt.. gosh.. God's holding EVERYTHING together.. and for those who're feelign worried over some stuff in your life.. God's holding YOU together.. and u're prob in the safest place ever.. in His loving hands =)

gosh i jus feel like praising Him 24/7.. and honestly.. why not? heh!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/06/2006 10:05:00 AM .

title: at home

aaahhh.. this feels so good.. to be home.. =) i gues i'm jus in one of my moods that i jus wanna be holed up at home with nothing to do (well, not exactly, but you get the pic) and just not rushing to anywhere else.. and of cuz.. it is nice to be able to stay where i am in the north and not run down to the east at the crack of dawn.. (ahh.. okay.. it's 9am la..) but yeaaah.. it feels good.. and it's nice knowing that later on for youth svc all i have to do is walk to the station and take the train 2 stops down.. church has never been sooooo near before.. i could get used to this.. heh! :)

in other news.. i've discovered -gasp- a WASP nest in my ROOM!! -screams with flailing arms- and the odd thing is.. i've never noticed it before.. i tink i prob only saw it like.. hmm 2 days back.. which was thursday. it's on the side of my cupboard/wardrobe beside my door.. its jus slightly higher than my head la.. which might explain why i've never noticed it before. but it did get me thinking. when did it start growing? cuz by now it's the size of like.. i dunno 2 fifty cent coins and 1 twenty cent one combined together? and i tink i've had enough experience with wasp nests to know what's exactly inside all of em and while i contemplated being my own pest exterminator.. i figured that i might end up exterminating myself.. so i tink i'll leave it to an email request to the residence office downstairs for someone to SAVE ME!!! ohh.. and i saw the wasp ytd too.. big one.. tho it looked yellow.. so tt puzzles me a bit.. and it disappears really really fast.. hmm!

but this got me thinking about something.. and i tink i'll check it out. somehow i get the feeling that God's trying to tell me something.. and now on hindsight.. He might be saying something to me about my walk with Him. have i been neglecting Him? have i been letting my sin/unforgiveness go unnoticed and untreated for so long it's turning out into a massive wasp nest? it really really gets me thinking about how i've been living my life as a Christian.. i mean.. i'm sure i'm not turning anti-christian or something.. but i tink there was a point of time in my life that i've been more fervent and more honest with God than i am now. and it jus makes me feel uncomfortable to think that i've been ignoring the Maker of the Universe and the Lover of my soul.. i want to get back in that tight relationship with Him.. and i do want to abide in Him and let His words abide in me..

it's time to get back! :)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/04/2006 10:30:00 AM .

title: wooooo!

my gosh.. i tink this sem has really really jus flown by.. i mean.. i cna't believe that it's already the last 2 weeks of the term.. my goodness.. where did ALL the time go.. seriously.. i hardly remember last sem being like this.. was it cuz i've been so busy with dance reflections that time jus flew by? hmmm... i mean.. today i jus went for my LAST class for negotiation and conflict mgt.. and i can't believe..who..what..how?!

but this is also like my free-est week somehow.. tho the earlier part of it was jus crazy.. had 2 presentations in 2 days.. and had to do some work last nite.. so somehow i jus managed to psycho myself into the fact that i have an entire busy week.. but now i'm here in my room cuz lecture finished at 510pm.. and i have no journal to write for this week (nydia will testify to the loud 'yes' i exclaimed when Boyd told us that) WOOHOOO..

this is so cool lo...

BUT BUT BUT

i'm gonna be hardworking and use this precious free time i have to work on all my final papers.. i need to get em done.. cuz they're all lined up .. my deadlines.. (haaa... lined up deadlines.. so pun-ny) in one stretch during the same week.. it's like one on monday, tues together with a presentation, friday which also coincidentally has a test.. a date for which i've mistakenly voted for.. gargh.. so ar well.. it's my own doing la tt one.. and let's jus hope that momentum carries me thru that week.. heh!

SO.. here's to late nights for the weekend.. and yep.. completing my assignments on time.. :)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/02/2006 06:14:00 PM .

title: at spinelli's

this is so shiok.. i'm now at spinelli's with my laptop and wireless internet connection.. shiok lo i tell you. and i've jus finished my dinner of this wrap - with ham, raisins, lettuce, tomatoes and all that jazz. it tasted awesome..

with the nice soothing music playing in the background.. i'd like to say that this is the life!

but of cuz.. i'm a bit more relaxed now cuz both my presentations for the week are over.. yays! and praise the Lord.. that ID went alright.. i was majorly worried abt tt actually cuz i felt like our argument wasn't compelling enough.. and tt worries me more than anything else.. i dun really mind presenting.. but i jus have to be confident abt what i'm presenting about. and i dunno why but it jus felt so hard to trust God there and then.. like i was jus trying my bset to push thru.. but my mind's screaming. 'let go and let God!!!' and i went to the toilet and jus prayed and tried to let go.. it was really hard man.. but i tink God's teaching me something.. so yep..

this week's our blast! last class week too.. and dance wasn't too bad except that at the beginning, pat mistook me for a junior and made quite a scathing remark.. i jus thank God for wonderful frens who stood up for me in their own little way. but i tink pat felt bad abt it cuz after tt he paid more attention to me and corrected me in a nice way la.. (when he does tt.. he's being nice) and so while i was quite shocked at the beginning by the remark.. soehow the pace of the class didn't allow for it.. and it jus passed by me.. jus thankful for pp who stood up for me la.. and it brought to mind something about standing up for the poor and all.. something from the Bible.. but yeah.. can't quite put my finger on the exact verse..

so now.. it's crunch time.. and i haven't been updating my blog.. cuz i jus dun feel like it ba.. hahah too lazy.. and my mind's jus occupied with other things. gotta get my final papers done for 4 modules.. and it's crazy. i haven't done any yet! argh.. and cuz i can't go for the big simulation on sunday, i've gotta do this reading and write a reflection piece by next thur midnite.. but den again.. writing is fine with me.. so yep..

i feel like i'm in a 'i know i have a lot to do' mood but yet i can't quite register that.. cuz i'm not freaking out jus yet.. its an odd calm...

and i tink i hv to get back soon.. did my laundry.. it shld be done by now i hope.. or wait.. hmm.. i've only been here half n hr.. why does it seem so long?

ohhhh today's weather was jus hurricane-ish.. gosh.. went to dance with my pants all soaked.. and i was carrying an umbrella! can u believe tt? =) so i danced in soggy pants and shoes/socks.. and yep.. i made a startling realisation that i danced till my pants dried.. but of cuz got soaked again from my sweat.. heh!

gosh..i feel lik emeeting someone now.. mummy? jie? :)

i keep on walking took her pride away at 11/01/2006 07:18:00 PM .